Sing To Me While I'm Dying

Chapter Thirty Seven

I kept my head on Jasper's chest, I didn't listen to anything that was happening. I peek through my hair at my mother. Her pale skin nearly makes me scream again. I whimper and Jasper shift my body so I can't look at her anymore.

"Vie, would you like to add something." I jump up, off Jasper's chest. The cold air hit me and I shivered. Jasper starts to wheel me to the podium. I swallow thickly. Jasper bends down and whispers in my ear.

"Don't worry, you don't have to say anything." I sit up straighter and take a deep, shuttering breath.

"My mother was a wonderful women. She is dead, but she will never be gone."I take a deep breath and lose my eyes. I try to control my shaking voice. "We had a script, of things we said when I visited her. I would say hello and she would politely say hello back. Then I would ask her how she was doing, and she would always answer 'better' especially if she wasn't. She didn't want me to worry. She took care of me, even when she was dying. She worried about me, and I will never forget that. I will never forget what I feels like to be held in your mother's arms. I will never stop loving her. At least I know she's not alone, she's with my sister Bella." I stop closing my eyes. "I love you mom." I whisper to myself. Jasper wheels me back to my seat where I burrow my head in his chest again. I sob into his shirt and he holds me. I hear the door open after a few minutes. I sit up and look at my father. A deep burning hatred fires in my chest.

"Vie." Jasper warns, but I'm not listening.

"What are you doing here?" I yell. I stand up in my anger, but my knees buckle. Jasper grabs my arms, holding me up.

"I am here to mourn my wife." He says icily.

"Get out," I say my voice devoid of emotion. "Get out!" I yell when he doesn't move. He reluctantly leaves and Jasper sits me back down. I collapse against Jasper and close my eyes.

When the funeral was over they carried my mother to where she was going to be buried. She was to be buried right next to Bella. Jasper wheeled me in front of her grave. When she was fully buried and everyone left I turned to Lizzy, Jasper, and Leo.

"Lave me alone." I whisper. They nod and walk walk to the car.

"Can you wheel yourself back?"

"I can." I whisper.

"Okay," Jasper said walking away. When they leave I stand up, I limp slowly over to my mother's grave. I collapse in front of her grave. I touch the cool stone.

"Beloved mother and friend. She will live on forever. July 26, 1966-June 21, 2014"

"I miss you." I start lamely. I sigh and shake my head. "I-I miss you so much. I can't even walk anymore. I don't know if I want to...I just want to be with you and Bella. But I want to be with Jasper, Lizzy, and Leo. I will have to wait to be with you again. I promised you mom that I would try to live. And I will do that for you. I would do anything for you. And you too Bella. I love you. Dad came to your funeral mom, but I kicked him out. Maybe I shouldn't have...no I was right!" I say my voice raising. "He didn't care when you were alive, so why should he be able to care now that you're gone!" I sigh and sit back on my heels. "I should go before Jasper gets worried. I love you, so much." I wipe my eyes and stand back up and limp back to my wheelchair. I wheel myself back to the car parked just over the horizon. I get in silently, there is nothing to say. No words can describe the amount of pain I am in. Jasper wraps his arm around my shoulders and I lean my head on his chest. I close my eyes a drift off into sleep.

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-Ally