Sing To Me While I'm Dying

Chapter Twenty Two

I wake up with my stomach growling. I clutch my stomach and groan. I hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday. I manage to get not my wheelchair to get myself something to eat. Once the kitchen I open the fridge and pull out pasta. I imagine it was last night's dinner. As I'm eating I glance at the clock and see it is three o'clock in the morning. I sigh and out the rest of the pasta away and roll back to bed.

"Vie?" I hear a quiet voice whisper. I turn and see Jasper. "What are you doing up?"

"I was hungry." He nods and walks towards me.

"My mother called last night, she said she wants me to come visit her."

"That great! She's making an effort."

"She moved to California, Vie. That's halfway across the country."

"Oh, so what's the problem?"

"What's the problem? I don't want to leave you!"

"Jasper, don't worry about me. You have to go. "

"But Vie-

"Your going and that's final." I say crossing my arms across my chest.

"Your cute when your stubborn." I smile.

"Your cute all the time." He kisses me and pulls away smiling.

"you always know what to say to make me feel better." He says smiling.

"I'm going to bed, goodnight."

I go back to my room and Jasper helps me into bed. I fall asleep quickly, still tired from physical therapy. When we get to school there are still some whispers, but they are mostly gone. The day passes quickly, nothing extraordinary happens. Except gym, which I just sit and watch, I never really liked gym anyway. When we got home we all sat in the couch. Leo sighed laying his head against the back of the couch. He closed his eyes.

"Jasper's going to Cali, did he tell you?"

"Yeah, I'm the one who made him go."

"Yeah, he didn't seem like he wanted to go."

"I want to go!" He says. Leo laughs and stretches out his legs. Lizzy opens the front door and walks in looking very flustered.

"Hey mom, what's wrong?" Lizzy jumps and when she turns I see she has been saying and her hair is all frizzy.

"Nothing."

"Mom?" Leo says jumping up and rushing to his mother's side.

"I'm fine!" She snaps sighing.

"Your obviously not, mom what happened?"

"I was at the hospital."I sat up, cursing my legs for not being able to jump up, like Jasper did.

"What happened?" Jasper asked, my voice failing me.

"I was talking to your mother, she doesn't have much time left..." I feel my body crumple against the back of my wheelchair. My shoulders slump and my eyes droop.

"Jasper take me to my room." I say my voice cracking. My arms hang limp at my side.

"Vie we should talk."

"Take me to my room!" I snap. He wheels me into my room and opens his mouth to talk to me. "Leave me alone." I say in a hollow voice. He sighs before leaving, I always knew my mother was dying, but I never realized it was going to be so soon. I run a hand through my hair before I begin to sob. I cover my face with my hands and sob into my palms. I though my mother had a chance. I really thought she was going to live. What am I going to do? Will I go into foster care? Will I be forgotten, cast off like I didn't even exist? Will the school notice I stop coming in? It's May, school will be over soon. I close my eyes and push my palms into my forehead. I hit them against my head over and over, begging these thoughts to go away. Your exactly who you were when Bella died, no one can help you. I let out a scream of frustration at these thoughts. I will never change. No one can ever save me. I will suffocate in my own self pity and self loathing. There is no redemption for me. I will die a bitter women. I will die a bitter, crestfallen women.

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