HIS EFFECT |Harry Styles|

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"I'll call you as soon as I land." I promised Lou, hugging her one last time, before picking up my carry on and sighing. "Just please tell Ashton that I'm sorry and that I just couldn't face him... not after everything." Lou nodded promptly, bidding her goodbyes once again, before letting me go.

The flight back to London was tiring and agonizing. All I wanted to do was cry and bury myself in the pile of blankets I had managed to get from a very sweet flight attendant with caramel eyes and blond hair.

An old man sat next to me, snoring and shifting every two seconds, giving me no peace to rest, although I doubted I would have even been able to, since the only thing in my mind was Harry and the way he simply dismissed me and told me to leave like I was no one in special.

I thanked God once the place landed and I was finally able to breathe fresh air. I took a cab back to Lou's place, to which she had given me the keys at the airport and allowed me to stay for as long as I needed, even after they were back from the tour, which would probably be in a month or so.

The house was empty when I arrived, no cheering from Lux or the sound of little steps rushing through the hall like I had expected, then again, Lou had told me that Lux would be with her father and not at home for the rest of the tour. I guessed I was more tired than I thought.

Sitting on my bed and allowing the pain to crawl back inside of me, I let myself feel everything I was holding back, I let myself cry and hurt, scream and sob. I had to find a way to get rid of all of these emotions rushing through me, though I knew it wouldn't be that easy.

❥

My first day back in London was spent lying down either on the couch or on my bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to visualise those green eyes that I was missing so much. I tried my hardest to imagine his arms around me, holding me tight and embracing me as the tears stung my cheeks.

On the second day, I was glad to find the kneaded, familiar, black shirt shoved into my carry on. I immediately put it on, inhaling Harry's musky scent and allowing the tears to start falling again.

On the third day, I thought I was all dried up, with no more tears to spare and only dry sobs to express the excruciating pain I was in, but when I found Harry's used set of shaving foam and razor in my bathroom, the tears made an appearance, staining my cheeks and swelling my eyes.

The third day was the day I caved. I called him. I called him twice, but got no answer for either of them, sickly enjoying his raspy voice on his voicemail message and holding myself back from calling him a hundred times more just so I could hear the same message over and over again.

On the fourth day I decided to get out of bed and eat something. I ate a banana, which I managed to keep down. On the fourth day I left the house in sweatpants and a sweatshirt, walking aimlessly until I found myself standing in front of his house.

It was on the fourth day that I ran into Ben. I had finally decided to head back home, when a lanky, familiar figure approached me with a warm smile and extended arms.

"Livvy!" Ben's friendly voice filled my ears and suddenly I no longer felt alone. It actually felt homely in his arms.

On the same day, Ben convinced me to talk to G about getting my old job back. G was glad that I had returned and happily gave me the familiar black apron so I could 'start working right away'.

I didn't tell them what happened though. I couldn't bring myself to. But they knew. They knew there was something wrong, but they didn't probed, which made me slightly more comfortable.

Day ten I started working again. After tiring myself of lying in bed all day and eating junk food, I felt fine enough to get up and start again. I laughed that day.

On day eleven, Ben took me out after work to look at some apartments to rent. He took me to the most affordable, yet safest, neighbourhoods in town so I could find a good place to live. Although I had my doubts about staying in London or going back to California, I decided to give it another try.

London was big enough to allow me the safety of not running into Harry every now and then, which was enough to convince me to stay and give London another try.

Day fifteen was when I finally started to accept that it was over. It still hurt, God, it hurt like a bullet soaked in acid ripping through my heart, it got to a point that I didn't think I would be able to live numbly again, because that was how I felt before I met him; numb. He showed me love and happiness, he loved me better than anyone and I loved him more than words could comprehend.

Day fifteen was definitely one of the hardest, simply because I was left alone again, Ben was working a late shift that I wasn't on, Lou was still traveling with the boys and Lux was still with her dad.

I called my mom that day. I called her and told her everything. She almost went to the airport to take the first flight to London, but I stopped her before she left my dad all alone, confused and worried.

It was somewhat comforting to hear her voice and encouraging words. I was used to speak with her and dad for at least twice a week, but since everything went down with Harry, I hadn't spoken to them, so it was relieving to hear their familiar voices.

I almost packed all of my stuff and flew back home that day. I hadn't realised how much I was missing my family until I called them.

I didn't, though.

It was getting easier and harder at the same time. Easier because I didn't have Harry there to remind me every two seconds how badly I had messed up. Harder because I didn't have Harry there.

On the next day, things had started to brighten up. Getting out of bed wasn't as hard and getting ready for work wasn't as bad either. I still felt the constant, nagging feeling in my heart that I was never going to be happy again. But I had to at least try.

❥

"Come on, Liv." Ben pestered. "One date, that's all I'm asking." He pleaded, hands glued together as if he was praying.

I had to admit that during all this time I've spent moping and breaking down every five minutes, Ben had been a really good friend, listening to my rants and always offering me a shoulder to cry on.

He had been my escape from reality and I would always find myself craving for his presence whenever we weren't together, though I knew that I didn't want him as anything more than a good friend. My life was already too messed up to add someone to that equation.

"I-I don't know, Ben, you're my friend and-"

"A date as friends then. Come on, Liv, you're single now and I'm single and don't you think we should just see where this..." He gestured between us. "...could lead to?" His big, puppy eyes and all the hope they held made it extremely hard for me to say no.

"O-okay, but only as friends." I pointed out.

"Perfect!" He beamed. "It's a date then."

Hello cupcakes!

THAT SONG THOUGH!! I'M SO ADDICTED TO IT!

And how the hell did this get to 8k reads? Like what?

Thank you.

As always, thank you so much for reading.

Much love,

- I.