Chapter 1: Directioners and the city.

Chapter 14: Kaitlin's first day back

Kaitlins POV: I couldn't sleep last night, my anxiety was so high just like every night before school when we come bak from break. I hate how it throws me off my normal routine. I had a feeling today was going to be a bad day. I woke up with a huge headache, I only slept for like 3 hours. There were huge bags under my eyes. I hope today will be okay, I barley have friends at school. I hope Jessica and Ellie's day is better than mine.

It was 5:30 am when my alarm clock went off, I made my way downstairs to go get ready and feed my dog. I woke my sister up at 6. I finished getting ready I wore a striped tank top tucked into my navy blue high waisted shorts and finished my outfit off with white vans. It was 6:50 and time to go on the bus. My neighbors Krysta and Diana don't like one direction but they heard the news, that I am dating Zayn. I had my phone in my bag but I honestly didn't want to turn it on. I was still getting hate on twitter, people were finding my Facebook and adding me and sending me horrible messages. Ellie and Jesica told me the night before that if i need to talk to them thought the day I can. I decided to turn my phone on for 5 minutes just to check my messages and whatever. Zayn text messaged me saying "have a great day back I love you if you need me text me" I wrote back thanks babe I will try love you xx. I turned my phone off, I never turn it off during school. Of course people I never even spoken in my entre life started comming up to me asking questions like I was a celebrity. Of course some were nice and some were rude, someone told me Zayn could do so much better than me, that I was just a pity girlfriend, that he is just using me for sex. I honestly didn't know what to say, I felt horrible. Is this true? I went off to health and then history lunch English then my favorite class, photography.

I had to hand in my photos because a new set was due. My friend Nathaly was bursting with excitement. She knew how much I loved one direction and she was so happy I was dating one of them. Some girls in my class like them and asked me questions as whatever, I didn't mind because I was friendly with them. I overheard that they didnt believe me. I honestly could care less. I knew the truth. I was extremely excited because I was wearing a tank top. Ever since I met zayn a few weeks ago I haven't cut. My scars were slowly fading. I printed out my proof sheet and handed it in. I decided to check my tumblr and I got so many messages. I rarely get messages, all of them were hate. I started tearing. "Zayn is just dating you because he needs some whore to sleep with" "he doesn't love you, he feels sorry that your so ugly and you can't get any guy" those hurt. More tears came. I lost it when I saw this message "aw poor Kaitlin you actually beleive zayn cares about you? That's cute. He couldn't care less if you killed yourself. He told me your dirty little secret. Do us all a favor and go get yor razor and cut yourself to death. That would make everything so much better." I couldn't deal with this anymore. I signed out and asked to go to the bathroom. I went to the nurse though, I cried. I couldnt deal with it. I checked my bag, I relized I had my makeup bag that I kept my cuticle scissors in. I told the nurse I felt nauseous and she let me I the bathroom. I put the cuticle scissors in my picket. I close the door. I looked at myself in the mirror with disgust. "why does zayn like me I'm ugly I'm worthless. What if what they were saying was true, that I was just a pity girlfriend?" I took out the scissors and cut my wrists. I was in the bathroom for a while. I made fake coughing sounds so it still sounded like I was vomiting. I had to clean up the mess I made there was blood on the sink I took papertowrls and cleaned it up. I felt relieved. I had to go to my locker and now get a sweatshirt. I told the nurse I felt better and got my sweatshirt from my locker. I put on the grey sweatshirt. I looked at my arm where I cut the word "worthless" into. What have I done? Zayns going to hate me. I can't believe I am letting him down.. I didn't go on twitter or facebook but I did check my phone. 5 new text messages. One from Jessica saying "Kaitlin are you okay? You haven't answere all day. Please text me so I can know your alright" Ellie text messages me saying "Kaitlin I'm worried please text me, I am here for you" Niall texted me asking if everything was okay between me and zayn because I haven't answered my phone all day. Harry asked me if I was alive? Zayn text messages me like 30 times, "babe I know your in class but text me I am bored." another message said "babe answer me, I am really worried about you, please don't hurt yourself beautiful. Don't go on twitter. "I love you" I didn't answer any of the messages now, knowing I cut. How am I supposed to tell them? Finally the 9th period bell rang. I could go home and sleep.

When I got home at 2:30 I threw my bag on the chair, turned off my alarm and my sister let out our puppy. My sister doesn't know I cut, I just told her I was cold and that's why I had my sweatshirt on. I took a zanex because my anxiety was high. I fell into a deep sleep shortly after.

It was 6 and my dad woke me up for dinner, I ate, I showered and then went upstairs to my room after saying hi to my mom. I turned on my computer because I wanted to turn off anonymous messaging on tumblr for awhile. My Facebook was signed in and a pop chat from Ellie and Jessica came up. It was around 9 and i told them what happened. They said not to worry, things will get Better, that I am strong and I will over come this. They said that I should talk to zayn about today. I didn't want to annoy him though. He probably is tired after doing 20 interviews. He knew I wouldn't answer messages because I havent answered them all day. He knew I would answer a video chat though, he talked to Ellie and Jessica to make sure I was online. I heard the Skype call ring. I shut my bedroom door and answered the call. He could tell something was wrong. The way I didn't greet him my usually cheery self. His exact words with a trembling voice "its okay Kaitlin, Ellie told me. I dont hate you. Remember me and you promised each other that we will do this together. That we will never give up on eachother no matter how many times we relapse while quitting. I love you, show me what you did to yourself. * I slowly pulled up my sweatshirt tilting my arm and showed him "worthless" cut into my arm* tears swelled up in his eyes. He said that I am not worthless, and asked me what cause me to do this. I read off all the messages. He was disgusted that my classmates, his fans, would say those things. He said not to listen, but how can I ignore it? He said that he needed to tell me something that he was pissed off about. He began saying that he smoked today, I wasn't mad at him I shouldn't be, we both lost strength today but we are starting fresh tomorrow. But the reason why he smoked was mind boggling. Management told him that he needed to keep our dating private because it will bring sale down. He was pissed, I was upset. Why could the others have girlfriends In the public but not us? He didn't know. Everyone hated management. It wasn't Simon's choice. Management thinks that Zayn attracts the most female attention so he can't have a public girlfriend. I was more upset than I was angry. The fact that management might prevent us from dating hurts. Simon is trying to let us go public and stop management from doing this. Zayn tweeted " I have never been so disappointed in people in my entire life" shortly after his mentions were flooded with hate and follow me zayn. Then he tweeted again " I never will understand why people send hate. Think before you say anything" also last tweet for the night "don't hate on my girlfriend it's not going to stop me from dating her I love her" I RT'd his second tweet and favorited the last 2. I tweeted him back saying "@zaynmalik thank you babeI know I will never understand. I love you xx" he smiled, we were still video chatting, he wanted to make sure I was okay before he left to go out with the boys. I told him I'm better now, but thank you for not hating me for messing up today. He told me that we are to strong for all of this hate to break us up. We will overcome our addictions. We are in this together. Liam popped up on the screen and looked at the camera and pulled a daddy directon and told zayn to let me sleep, I have school tomorrow. We said our I love you'a and goodnight. I turned off my computer and went to sleep. I am so lucky that I have a boyfriend that cares about me so much. I trust the boys I know that they are in Toronto and the drinking age is 18, I trust that they will make wise decisions and not hookup with anyone. This is their first night in Canada with girlfriends. I hope they prove it to Jessica Ellie and I that they can resist temptation of hook ups while they aren't with their girlfriends. We will Find out in the morning.

What will happen?

Will Simon win the war between management and let Kaitlin and Zayn have a relationship in the public?

Will the hate ever stop?

Will the boys hook up with anyone?

Find out in chapter 15!!