Chapter 1: Directioners and the city.

Chapter 24: I'm not ready..

Kaitlin's POV:

I need to do this, Zayn has been so nice to me, this date. the whole date he planned today, we got tattoos, this is a serious relationship, I knew he wanted to have sex, I know he wants to, he is a teenage boy, he has desires. I unzipped the back of my dress, when it hit the floor I knew there was no turning back. There I stood, in my bra and underwear. My little B cups, and bright pink lacy underwear. Standing right in front of him. I had no idea what to do. I guess this meant I was going to loose my virginity tonight, I told him I was ready as he stared at my half naked body.

Zayn's POV:

Tonight was perfect, this date was perfect, getting the tattoos together, spending all day with her. I can't stop smiling. I am lying down on the bed, she then unzipped her dress, telling me she is ready. I know she isn't, deep down inside I know she isn't. She think's she is. What has gotten into Kaitlin? Does she think that I just want to have sex with her, that is why we got tattoos? That isn't the case at all. I want her to be ready whenever she is ready, I can live without sex until she is ready. I can't help but stare at her beautiful small frame, her long legs, her perky small bum in the bright pink lacy underwear, her flat stomach. I didn't want her to do anything stupid. I have to say something.

Zayn: Babe, what are you doing? You don't have to do this.

Kaitlin: Zayn, don't lie, I know you miss having a sex life, I want to thank you for everything you have done for me. 

Zayn: Kaitlin, I know your not ready, you don't have to thank me this way. I love you no matter what. This is your virginity. I want it to be special for you. Whenever you feel ready. Not just because you want to thank me for doing what boyfriends do.

I am still half naked as he is telling me this, I am starting to get emotional. I feel like an idiot now. I run across the hall as quickly as I could, I put my pajamas on and just buried myself into the pillow, crying. I didn't want him to see me cry, I honestly feel so stupid. I closed my door and heard a knock.

Zayn: Can I come in?

Kaitlin:  Why? I am so stupid. I feel like an idiot now..

Zayn: *walks in and shuts the door* Babe, you're not an idiot, your not stupid. 

Kaitlin: I am an idiot, I thought this is what I was supposed to do, I thought that maybe you just missed having a sex life, I thought maybe I would surprise you, clearly I can't turn my own boyfriend on. I can't do anything right. I just ruined this perfect night. If I wasn't here right now, if I didn't have this tattoo, if I wasn't with you, I probably would be in my room at home, crying my eyes out alone, cutting.

Zayn: Kaitlin, you are being to hard on yourself, your overreacting on something.I am happy I am here, I am happy that you have this tattoo, you didn't ruin anything,I am relieved that you aren't cutting tonight. Listen to me, It is fine, you didn't see me smiling at you? You look beautiful with clothes on or off. This is why you are here with me, other than meeting my mom and sisters I wanted to become closer, this is giving us an opportunity to learn more about each other, we have only been dating for 3 months to this day, I love you no matter what. If you aren't ready I am not forcing you into anything. You can talk to me about anything, everything.. *hugs her and kisses her*

Kaitlin: *crying and wipping her tears* Zayn, I love you. I always will, you make me feel beautifiul, you  have probably saved my life. I honestly don't know what to feel, I love you, you aren't mad at me that I am not ready, I came here not knowing if your mom will like me, not sure what to think, not knowing any of this could happen. I learned so much about you, about your family, and about myself. Thank you. Can we sleep together tonight? Not sex, just how we have been since I have came here?  when I am ready I will be ready.