Chapter 51

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*to get the full effect of this chapter, I EXTREMELY recommend listening to the song up top in the background while reading
"Shit, shit, shit, I'm late!" I mutter, slamming the car door. It's storming out and I throw my hood over my head and start sprinting towards the door to the stadium. My black, thick-heeled, shoe/boots, banging on the pavement as I run. The rain hits my face likes bullets and I dodge parked cars as I run. "Lily!" "THATS LILY!" "OHMYGOD!" "GET HER!" "Lillian!" I hear a bunch of teenage girls yell, "Sorry I gotta go!" I yell spastically, over my shoulder. I see them start to chase me anyway but I have no choice but to keep running. I whip my head to the front, and look at the door and I start sprinting faster. I reach the door and thrash it open, I get inside and slam the door shut, I quickly lock it and put my back to it. I put my hand to my head, god I'm soaked! I pull the hood back and look up and see a makeup team, "I'm here," I say out of breath, "I'm here," I repeat, still panting. I start walking with them down a long hallway and into a bright room.

      I look in the mirror, "Chin up," one of the ladies say, one of them is contouring my face with a brush, making my cheek bones and jawline pop out. The other tilts my head towards her and starts laying a red lipstick upon my lips. Then my head is tilted another way and a girl comes in, brushing my eyelid with a blending brush. I'm titled back to the front of the mirror, full of circle like, lights. Someone brushes out my hair and then I'm turned around and I feel my hair starting to be curled. I swallow down any anxiety I have and I tilt my head up, have confidence Lily, have confidence.
I leave the room and start walking towards the stage, my hair bouncing with every step I take. My heels click and echo against the pine wood floor, as I strut my way down the long, dark, hallway. I look at the black cloth for walls, and continue walking. I flip all my hair off my shoulders, so it's all on my back. Nothing feels more powerful, than high heels, that give you high amounts confidence. I walk up a few wooden stairs, and then I studiously walk along a path to a small lit up tent behind stage. I walk up to it, take in a deep breath, and pull back part of the tent, stepping in.
     Someone comes up behind me, putting on a jean jacket, I put my arms through the holes and grab it, pulling it away from my body, someone comes up to me and puts a microphone box in my pocket and I lift my neck up, he clips it to my shirt, and runs the cord through my sleeve, he then pulls it through and plugs the cord into the small box. A few people walk over to me, wishing my luck, and touching up my hair. I say thank you and then I push back the sheet to the tent and start making my way to the stage. Tonight's me and Josh's night, I walk up stairs to the  stage, I'm still hidden behind it so no one can see me and I stop.
      I peak out, looking at the thousands, and thousands of people. I start to get nervous, but I close my eyes tightly shut and shake it off. My breathing intensifies and I put my hands on my hips, raising my head, call me whatever you want, but doing this raises my confidence sky high. I see Tyler and Jenna walk out onto stage and jump up on their piano, then I make eye contact with Josh who is on the other side of the stage, out of view from the arena, he's holding Amara who is giggling. "Lets do this." I mutter.
I walk out onto stage, so does Josh and Amara, the crowd screams and I don't break eye contact with Josh. The clacking of my heals against the stage is drown out by the screams of the fans, but my confidence, has not been lost. Me and Josh reach each other and I greet Amara, who is overwhelmed with the noise of the crowd, but still smiling. Although it seems damn near impossible, the crowds cheers are muted to me, at that moment it's just me, Amara, and Josh. As one big happy family on stage. I kiss Amara's soft little cheek and then me and Josh latch lips, the sound of the crowd comes back, almost deafing. We end our kiss and laugh, we look out into the arena, and there's so many people, shoulder to shoulder, screaming and jumping up and down. All for us, for Josh, for me, for Amara. (If you were playing the song, it should end at this point) I have one of my arms around Josh's back, and he has one on my shoulders. Josh holds Amara his other arm and he bounces her around, she babbles and coos and I bop her little nose, she laughs and I melt once more. Eventually the crowds screams die down and I feel my calling to speak, "Hi, hello, how is everyone tonight?" I speak loudly into my microphone which makes me voice surge through the arena, everyone cheers loudly and claps. I laugh and continue, "As many of you know, we made the decision public about it a few concerts ago, but for those of you who don't know, genetically, this baby is mine and my rapist, everything otherwise then genetics, she's mine and Josh's little baby girl. Her name is Amara, born at seven months, she spent two weeks in the hospital, after birth, to develop her lungs. Weighing in at one pound exactly." I finish looking to Josh, he begins to talk, "I'm excited, and I know Lily here is too, so is Tyler, so is Jenna, so is our families including mark, and so are you guys. We are excited, to watch her grow, make memories with her, get close to her, teach her how to play drums," I laugh and so does a few thousand in the crowd, "Are you excited Amara?" He says, lifting her head up into the mic, she coos and Hums, earning a great big 'Awhhhhhhh' from the crowd. I say laughing, "I think she agrees. Lets get this show on the road!" Josh kisses me and Amara, running back to the drums, Jenna runs up next to me. The beginning to Tree's begin and Jenna grabs one of her small arms, so do I. And we make her dance, she's laughing, we're laughing and swaying our hips. We yell the lyrics, along with the crowd, and a surprisingly calm Amara. Maybe she's meant for the stage.

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