A Course of Passion

7: Making a Choice

Hotch makes his way over to me on the plane ride home, I sit a bit away from everyone else, needing time to think about what I want to do, "do you know what you want to do?" He asks me, taking a seat across from me.

I shake my head, "not yet, think I can have till the morning?" I request of him.

"Of course." He nods, standing back up and returning to the rest of the group.

When we get back to the office, I go to the desk I've been working at and work on the paperwork involved in my shooting. When I go to leave, I am shocked to look behind me and see Spencer still with his head down and at his desk, "do you ever go home?" I saunter over to where he is sitting, noting the clocks time of 11:23.

He lifts his eyes up and smiles when he see's me, "nothing new worth reading there." He returns.

I shake my head, sitting on the edge of his desk, "what have you been reading here tonight?" I ask him, trying to get a glimpse of the book that's in front of him.

He keeps his eyes on me and says, "the narrative of John Smith."

I exhale, looking down at him, knowing that is the book Maeve gave him, "thinking about her lately?" I ask him.

He nods and just when I think he wont say anything more he also says, "been thinking about you, too."

"Is that so?" I ask, a small smirk forming on his face, "I know you know about my offer to stay here, why haven't you asked me about it?" I ask him.

He looks back to me, pausing before answering, "because I know what you're going to do."

I move myself back a little, eyeing him cautiously "how do you know when I don't even know?" I ask him.

His eyes turn even softer and he closes the book in front of him. He stands up but seats himself next to me, nudging my arm, "because I know."

My eyes falter from his hurt face and I exhale, uttering out, "profilers" with my own eye roll he can't see. When I look back up to him, his hurt eyes are gone and he has a small smirk on his face. I sigh and confess, "how do you know when I just found out yesterday?"

He breathes out of his nose with a chuckle and explains, "because I know what you looked like when it happened to us. You were radiant."

"Dr. Spencer Reid, always the smartest one in the room." I whisper back, a tear escaping my eyes.

He wipes it off my face and says back, "Detective Maddison Grey, of the NYPD Special Victims Unit." His face is close to mine now, where he adds, "it's where you belong." I nod, another tear escaping my eyes and I lean into him, giving him the slightest kiss on the lips, knowing we'll never be together again. Our foreheads rest against one another for a few silent moments. He finally breaks the silence and says, "let me walk you home."

We both stand up, getting ready to go but I decline his offer, "that's alright, I could use the time to myself." I smile at him.

He nods and we walk out of the office together. Once outside, we hug each other before going our separate ways, "thank you Spencer." I say into his chest.

"I'll let Hotch know in the morning." He says to me before we part.

I pull away then, looking into his eyes gratefully, knowing what he is telling me to do. He is telling me to go home tonight, and to tell Sonny everything, "thank you." I whisper out.

"Take care of yourselves, Maddison." He says, and we go our separate ways into the night.

When I get to my hotel, I pack my things into my bag. It didn't take long as I kept mostly everything in it, I guess subconsciously knowing I don't belong here anymore. I search my laptop for the next flight home and find one that leaves in a few hours around three. After booking the flight I know I should say goodbye to my friends here but figure they are probably asleep or out with plans. I decide to send them an email, explaining my choice. I tell them to always call me when they come to New York and that'd I'd be better at staying in touch. After sending the email I do one last sweep of the hotel and hail a taxi to the airport. Once through security, I give Olivia a call to give her the heads up. I'm not surprised when I get her voicemail, "hey Liv, it's Maddison. I'm on my way home from D.C. I can be back at work first thing Monday morning. There's something I need to tell you. Let me know if you want me in sooner. Thanks." I hang up and put my phone in airplane mode. It's now Friday morning. And I'd be able to talk to Sonny on Saturday or Sunday, giving him the news before meeting with Olivia if I can't catch him any sooner.

As the taxi driver takes me home, my stomach knots with the idea of everything a head of me. I'm scared, nervous, worried, anxious, but most of all, I'm happy with this choice. And I hope Sonny can forgive me for running off. Once at my apartment it's around 530 in the morning. Sonny usually gets up early for a run so I figured I can take a quick shower then find him around his apartment. I pay the driver and take the elevator upstairs. I unlock the door and close it behind me, locking all the locks and throwing my bag on the floor. As I walk further in I sigh out with a smile, "it's good to be--Sonny?" My eyes bulge wide at the sight of him, tied to a chair with rope and tape around his mouth. His eyes are wide back at mine but before I could step forward to get to him, something thuds me on the back of my head and everything starts to blur.

"Hello Puppet." His voice echoes through my hazy head.

"D--Doyle." I mutter, now on my knees holding at my head that's bleeding.

"It's been a long time. Did you miss me?" He asks, coming around to face me, bringing himself to my level.

I spit back to him, "go to hell!"

"I've certainly missed you!" He returns and there's another hit to my head where everything goes black this time.