A Course of Passion

46: Empty Nest

Six days later and Maddison is allowed to leave the hospital. Our babies have to stay, of course, but she's been cleared. Our team has come to visit once, but it was short as the babies were sleeping and we didn't want to wake them. Elaina's been struggling gaining weight but Eli's growing quickly. Olivia gave me the week off and told me we'd play the rest of it by ear. Once Maddison is checked out, I drive us back to my apartment and help her to the bedroom. She's still ordered to rest, so I snuck out the night before and stocked up on magazines and newspapers she can read, "what's all this?" She asks as I help her sit.

"Just some stuff for you to do. You're on bed rest another 4 days." I remind her, moving the blanket for her to get under.

She rolls her eyes, "who would've thought I'd be in bed rest after having babies."

"Can I get you anything?" I ask her, hoping she's comfortable.

She shakes her head, "I'm fine, just already waiting to go back to see them. I don't think I'm going to be able to rest at all while they are there." She confides.

I know exactly how she feels though but I try and keep a brave face, "they're in good hands there. You need to rest up, get stronger."

"I know" she simply answers, patting my hand.

The first day at home isn't all that bad but the second day I can tell starts to take a toll on Maddison. The bags under her eyes have grown darker and she refuses to get out of bed to take a bath. She isn't drinking nearly as much water as she's suppose to be and I can barely get her out of the bed to the use the bathroom, "babe, come on. You need to drink more water." I urge after placing the cup down next to her.

She waves her handc "I'm not thirsty."

"I understand that but you still need it." I try and kindly argue it.

She picks it up, takes the smallest sip and says, "there, happy?" I just shake my head at her but she ignores me and asks, "so, why can't we go see them today?"

"We could, but we won't be able to see Elaina. They said we can probably actually go in and touch her tomorrow so I figured you could rest up today and be all good for tomorrow." I explain.

She returns to me, "fine, can you get me the pump then? My boobs are killing me." She grabs a little at them. I nod and move to get it from the kitchen.

The next day, I see more color in Maddison's face. She's excited to go see our babies, to actually get to hold them together. We get to the hospital and eagerly wait for the doctor to come talk to us. When he walks in, he starts right away, "Elijah is doing very well, he should be able to go home in three to four weeks at this rate.

"And Elaina?" I ask, holding my breath.

He looks down for only a moment but I know what that means. Bad news. I quickly grip Maddison's shoulder as he says, "she's still very weak. We are ultimately doing everything for her." Before we could ask anything else, one of the nurses, Beth, comes in. She gestures for the doctor to come over and the two whisper a few words. We wait anxiously but are relieved when there's a smile on both their faces, "I'm going to let nurse Beth take over for a bit, we can talk later."

I turn my eyes to the nurse and she almost whispers to us, "I know we talked about Kangaroo care and the doctor and I agreed that Elijah is ready for it."

"He is?" Maddison asks in a giddy.

The nurse nods and smirks, "his feeding time is in another 30 minutes, would you like to try that today?"

"Of course!" She exclaims back along with the nodding of her head.

About 30 minutes later, the nurse brings Elijah in and brings him to me first, "dad, would you like to lay him down?" My eyes widen as I agree and she slowly passes him to me. This is the second time I'm getting to hold him but it's all so different then the last. He already looks so much bigger and I can't get over how light he is. I slowly start to lower him down to Maddison's chest and the moment he touches her, he coos again. She starts to cry as he lays against her, their skin touching and the two finally are able to bond. The nurse helps adjust him and get him wrapped but I just watch in awe as he lay against her and falls asleep so easily,"he should be good for an hour, maybe a bit longer. I'll come back in about 30. You two need anything?"

"We're okay" I whisper to her, not wanting to interrupt Maddison's attention. The nurse nods and leaves us to it. I sit next to them, as close as possible and hold her hand as she keeps her eyes on him. He just lays there, perfectly still and rested.

The hour goes by too quickly and when he wakes up, the nurse comes over to take him, "so, this is actually the better time for you to pump, so if you come back tomorrow you can bring it with you and use the room for that."

"Can I come again today?" She asks.

The nurse shakes her head, "he's healthy but we don't want him out of the incubator too long, he's still young. Once a day, but just for now." The nurse explains, finally lifting Elijah off her chest.

Maddison covers herself up with the robe and nods, "thank you" I say as she turns to walk away.

A few minutes later, the doctor comes back in and says, "Elijah is a strong little guy, he's really thriving!"

"And what about Elaina, what can we do for her?" I ask out, wanting some sort of good news.

"Well, she's fighting which is good but we really need her to start doing the work for herself." He returns.

"Is there a way to like, promote that?" Maddison asks.

The doctor answers, "well, we can slowly wain her off some of the machines, see how she reacts but we don't need to rush into that. Let's give it another week or two to see how she grows."

"Do you think I can hold her soon, too?" She asks next.

The doctor shakes his head, "I don't want to compromise her immune system."

"Okay, we understand." I respond, grabbing Maddison's hand and squeezing it. I'm trying to tell her that it's going to be okay, that everything will work out and we'll all be home as a family before she knows it.