A Course of Passion

51: Undercover Damage

When I go home that night Mr. and Mrs. Carisi leave to have their own dinner night. I wash both babies then feed them before trying to put them down to bed. I tell them how much their dad misses them and that he can't wait to get home to them.

SONNY'S P.O.V. -

The next day we have therapy for an hour at 10. Once everyone is seated, our group leader Robin introduced me, "we have a new member of our group. You've all met Dominick?"

A man I came to know as Kris says, "Yeah, he likes donut holes."

"Okay, Dominick?" Robin addresses me.

I reply, "they call me Smitty." I hated hearing my name come out of these scums mouths.

Robin smirks, "that's fine. Participating in group therapy is a condition of your parole. I assume you're aware?"

"Yes, ma'am." I answer instantly.

"We're open with one another here, and we tell things we may never have told anyone else." She adds on, really trying to sell it to me to open up.

A man named Lyle adds on, "especially the police."

I nod a few times, like I get it and mumble, "yeah, yeah, I understand."

Robin elaborates one more time on what this therapy is all about, "the goal is not to embarrass you. It's to help you change your behavior even if you can't change your desires, so that you never go back to prison. I assume you're onboard with that?"

"Yes, ma'am." I say again.

Robin finally says, "okay, tell us about yourself."

"Uh Dominick Smith, uh, 36, was born in Brooklyn, raised in Staten Island." I start off simple, some false information, some true.

"And?" Robin asks, wanting me to really open up about why I'm there.

I sigh and say the lie of my backstory, "and, uh I had some pictures on my computer."

Lyle repeats, "pictures?" Wanting more information.

I answer, making my Staten Island accent as thick as possible, "of children, but I-I never laid a hand on a child, never."

A man named Ricky then says, "well, you know those pictures of kids being raped, right, so somebody had to rape those kids just so you could look at the picture."

I shake my head as if that disgusts me. Of course it does but I try not to over sell it, really needing everyone to believe I'm there for a reason, "come on, man, I didn't think about it like that, all right?"

"Well, maybe you should've." He spits back.

"Thank you, Richie." Robin jumps in. She then says to me, "everyone here has had to overcome denial."

Kris asks, "you got off on 'em, right, the pictures?"

I hesitate my response, but eventually say, "I'm married, all right, I love my wife, I do, but yeah, yeah, a part of me was, it was like a secret thrill, you know?"

Lyle questions, "your wife sticking by you? Mine divorced me when I got sent up."

I eye him, but then answer, "yeah, so far we're not divorced, no."

Richie adds on to that, "well, then you should do this for her and um, for yourself. You know, I'm also married." He holds up his left hand.

"Why are you still living here?" I ask him, actually curious to that.

Robin answers for him, "his apartment is too close to a school, and they can't afford to move."

Richie explains a bit more to me, "it's a rent-stabilized, so my wife, uh, has a job, so she takes care of the rent."