A Love Like War (Jalex)

Chapter Ten: The Great Awakening

I woke up five hours later because I felt someone touching my arm. I opened my eyes and saw Alex. His hair was messed up and his face was red. He was bawling. "Alex?" I said trying to sit up. "What?"

He kept crying. He had short breaths. He looked like his puppy got hit by a car. "I can't" He kept crying. I started tearing up.

"Alex." I said holding his hand. "Please calm down." I rubbed his back. He stopped crying after a while. His eyes were blood shot.

"My mom told me that its my fault for the baby." He said crying. I held his hand. "And that, we have to get a house once its born. My grandma wasn't happy." He sniffed. I rubbed his back. "She's pissed." He stopped, "She's far from pissed."

"I'm sorry..." I said awkwardly.

"That's not the worst part." He stopped, "She fucking left Jack. SHE LEFT." He said louder, "She wants nothing to do with me. She said its against the bible to be gay."

"No." I said under my breath.

"When I got home her and my mom were talking in the living room." He said, "They acted like I wasn't there. So I ran upstairs and packed my stuff. I grabbed your clothes." He said pointing to a bag.

"Awh Alex." I said rubbing his arm.

"Everyone has left. No one wants to stay." He said. He put his face into my lap. "No one can take me."

"I can." I said. I looked down at him and rubbed his back. He didn't hear me.

"Everyone always leaves." He sobbed. "Fuck!" He yelped. He looked up. "I'm just done." He kept crying. He started to gag.

"Alex. I'm really sorry." I said, I didn't care to tell him what happened with my family. It was about 2am. I rubbed his back.

"I'm sorry, I feel like I always complain to you." I told him.

"You don't. Its no big deal." I rubbed his forehead. He was warm. I knew he was sick.

"Yes, Jack. I wouldn't be surprised if you want to leave too." He said, "I really wouldn't."

"Alex.." I said holding his hand. I wrapped my arms around him. We both had our legs crossed.

"My mom kept apologizing. Its not better. She hurt me. It fucking sucks!" He said. I rubbed his leg.

"I wont hurt you." I said holding his hand. He looked up and smiled through the tears. I laid back and put one hand on my eyes and the other over my stomach. Alex laid back and looked at me.

"I know." He rubbed my hair. "I won't leave you." I held his hand.

"We are getting through this." I told him. I fell asleep with Alex rubbing my head.

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The next morning we woke up around 10. I got up and looked at Alex, he was sleeping. His hair was a mess and his face was still puffy. I rubbed his head and sat up. I got up and walked to my desk. I sat down and looked at the papers on my desk. Most of them were for colleges. I swiped them into my trash can. I saw a little sticky note on one of the papers. I pulled it out of the trash can.

I CAN ONLY DREAM.

I looked at the paper it was on. It was for the music college. I felt my face turning red. I stumbled up. I walked over to my mirror on the back of my door. I could tell I had gained weight. My hips hurt and my nose looked big. I held my stomach and looked at my self. I was unhappy with myself. I turned and saw  a still sleeping Alex. He shifted. I walked toward my bed. I hit my pinky toe of the edge. "Fuck!" I whisper-shouted. Alex smiled. He knew I was looking at him. He hadn't even opened his eyes. I fell onto my bed. He put his arm around my chest.

"Good Morning Jack." He said holding my face. He was playing with me. I moved so I was all the way on my bed.

"Good Morning." I said. Alex rolled onto his side. I was touching my stomach. Alex looked at me. I nodded. I wish he didn't feel like he had to ask to feel it. He put his hand on it. It made him smile.  "So, remember how we told your friends?" I asked him. He moved a little.

"Yeah." He simply replied.

"Did they keep it a secret?" I asked him.

"Yes, my family knows, your family knows, Rian, that Cassadee Pope girl, and the guys." He said, "Why?"

"I don't know, I feel awkward in public. My face is constantly puffy and I wobble." I said.

"Your face isn't puffy. Its cute." He said smiling. I grabbed his free hand.

"Like, are the other football players  gonna know. I feel like they are gonna go after me." I said.

"No, I quit that team. They were dicks. That's why I was a dick. I was around them. I tried to explain. I didn't play football the last two years of school." He said. I rubbed his arm. His hand stayed on my stomach.

"I know." We fell silent. He held my hand.

"Cutie." I blushed. He rubbed his hand down my cheek. "I'm going to the mall today. I'm getting baby clothes." He said feeling my stomach.

"Can I go?" I asked him.

"Jack. I don't want people getting on us about you. And Lisa, and the baby." He said holding wrapping his hands around my neck.

"I'll be okay." I said leaning toward him. He kissed me. "I promise." He bit my lip and we pulled away.