Touching You

Part ONE ~ Body Say

Demi

Barely six months into 2016 & already it's been a whirlwind of emotions. In a week's time, I lost my grandmother as well as my boyfriend, who was also my best friend. Wilmer & I said we'd stay friends but we both knew we wouldn't be the friends that we had been for the last six years. At least it would take a while to get to that point again, if it ever happened. If we dated other people, I feared our friendship would suffer, too. We would support each other from afar & care about each other, but if we started new relationships, our days of hanging out would most likely be over.

Breaking up with someone is never easy but when you're in recovery for drug & alcohol abuse and an eating disorder, it's even tougher. The first few weeks were a struggle staying clean & admittedly, I did relapse when it came to self harming myself, but that just helped me stay on track with the other stuff. I guess it was a small price to pay.

I owe a lot to my friends & family helping me through my breakup with Wilmer, but one friend, in particular really saved me time & time again. It's weird to call him a friend because, to me, he's so much more. He's my best friend, my business partner & soon to be tourmate, Nick Jonas.

Nick & I have been spending a lot of time together because we were about to head out on our co headlining Future Now tour & we were both so excited. We had been doing tons of promo spots & each one was so much fun. It helped take my mind off of my grandmother's impending death & the impending demise of my relationship. Nick was there through everything so he knew my relationship was ending before anyone else. Because he knew this, he tried to make all of our promo appearances even more fun.

From interviews to press events, from car pool karaoke with James Corden to a late night talk show appearance, Nick made me laugh like he always did. I was appreciative even though Nick wouldn't let me thank him or even make a big deal about it.

I was looking forward to our tour, because I knew it was going to be fun & I needed a distraction, quite frankly. Nick & I had a hand in every aspect of this tour, so that was another reason I couldn't wait to head out on tour, with my best friend. We planned every detail together & each decision was mutual, with no disagreement whatsoever. Nick & I were in sync, completely, when it came down to what we wanted this tour to be & it also brought us closer than ever.

Nick had been single for a year now & I helped him through his breakup with Olivia Culpo. When she started dating some football player, I listened to Nick whine about how he may have made a mistake. I was the one who reminded him of why breaking up with her wasn't a mistake. I reminded him of how he was too young to settle down & how he needed to sow his wild oats & of course I had to add the fact that she was fake as fuck & didn't love him the way he deserved to be loved. He was back to his old self a day later & even laughed when I made fun of her social media posts.

I've had friends in my life before but I have never had a friend like Nick. He got me in a way not everyone did. He knew things not many other people knew & he didn't love me any less. I could laugh with him or cry on his shoulder & our friendship never wavered. He forgave me for shutting him out during a tough time in my life & I forgave him for not trying harder to stay in my life at that time. I could be myself with Nick & he was the same way around me. We didn't have secrets & always were brutally honest with each other. I could lay on Nick while we watched a movie or show him pictures of myself in lingerie or less & he never batted an eye. We could be intimate without being intimate, if that makes sense.

In 2015, Nick & I announced a record label that we started with our manager, Phil. Ever since then, we've been constantly in each other's lives. We've been friends for ten years, so we've always remained in some kind of contact, for the most part, but now that we were business partners we talked almost everyday. We hung out a lot, too, especially now that we're embarking on our dream tour.