Touching You

You Got a Logic I Can Never Figure Out

Nick

I watched Demi's face as I held her hand & she didn't reply to my compliment. She looked scared, actually. Then she closed her eyes & uttered, the words, "It was me."

"What was you?" I asked, confused for a moment, until she opened her eyes & I could see the guilt. "Wait. It was you who told Avo? Not Joe?"

She nodded, then explained how she ended up telling Avo. "They all swore to keep the secret & I trust them."

I stood up, shaking my head, angrily. "So, let me get this straight. You not only told Avo, but you also told Kelsey, Cesar & Jill?"

"They wouldn't let it go."

"Jesus, Demi. What were you thinking? The more people that know the more risky it is. We agreed on that. We didn't even tell our families, but your fucking team knows?" I threw my hands up as I turned to pace in the living room. "This is just fucking great. No way they won't let something slip."

"Nick, they can be trusted. I explained to them why we want to keep this a secret right now."

"They could blab & not mean to. Don't you see how risky it is that more people know about us?"

Demi stood up, quickly, stomping her foot a little. "Maybe I don't even care anymore. Maybe I want to go public. Maybe I want to scream from the rooftops that I am in love with my best friend. Maybe I want to walk with you, in public, hand in hand. Maybe I want to comment cute things on your Instagram. Maybe I want to kiss you whenever & wherever I want. Maybe it's hurting my feelings that you are so fucking worried about our secret getting out!" Demi screamed then ran from the room. A moment later I heard her footsteps on the stairs. I messed up. I knew it. I also knew that she thought telling her team about us, was logical. It made sense to her & I had to try to understand. I had to listen to her.

I headed upstairs & knocked on Demi's closed bedroom door. I heard crying coming from the other side of the door, but didn't hear her tell me to come in. I took a deep breath then opened the door & stepped inside. "Babe? I'm sorry I upset you. Can we talk?"

Demi had her back to me but I could see her wipe tears from her face. "Talk about what? You are ashamed of our relationship. You're embarrassed to be seen with me as my boyfriend. What else do you want to talk about?"

I let a chuckle come out because what Demi said was absurd, but she glared me, so I pressed my lips together. "That is crazy. I am not ashamed or embarrassed of you. You know why I wanted to keep us a secret, Demi. The media will go nuts if it got out that we were a couple. Jesus, I can see the headlines now. I can see them swarming us whenever we were in public, together. And even when we are not together. We would never have any peace. Ever. And I can't believe you would want to go public. You hate the papz. You hate how they are constantly in your face. You hate that they invade your privacy. You hate everything about them."

Demi turned her whole body around her on the bed & I could see how upset she was. "Yea, but I love you. And I am proud to be your girlfriend. That trumps how I feel about the papz."

"I love you, too & I am proud to be your boyfriend, but I also want to enjoy being with you for a while before we let the rest of the world in. I don't want to share our relationship. Is that so wrong?" I asked as I walked toward her.

I sat on the bed next to Demi as she covered her face for a moment. "It's not wrong." She moved her hands off her face. "It's just frustrating. I want to show you off, even if it's just to friends. I want to let my family know how happy I am & the reason. Is that so wrong?"

I took Demi's hand. "No, it's not wrong. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so upset. Maybe we can tell our friends & family but make it clear to everyone that they can't say anything. They can't even hint at something."