Touching You

Oh No, Here We Go Again

Demi 

The day I had a meeting with Phil & Nick to discuss all the events & appearances we had coming up, I was anxious because I hadn't seen Nick in quite some time. I hadn't seen him since he got back from his trip to Italy, the one he had invited me to join him on. In the last few weeks, I hadn't even talked to Nick much, which bothered me, because I always felt like someone didn't care if they didn't text or call me. I had been busy with Bomba & Nick had been busy with all kinds of stuff, so that explained why we hadn't spoken much, but my brain is wired differently, so it always went to a dark place, without meaning to.

I took a selfie that afternoon, while I was waiting for Nick & Phil, at the LA art museum. I was becoming obsessed with art, so while I waited I looked at some of the outdoor exhibits. I was sure to post the selfie, hoping Nick would see it & know what to expect. I hoped I looked as cute to him as I looked to myself.

I met Phil by his car, then we walked to meet Nick by his car. I hugged him, once he got out & shut his car door. Nick talked to Phil while we walked & I didn't say a word. It was a comfortable silence, but I still didn't like that we weren't talking to each other. I knew it was because of Phil manipulating the conversation, since he was a guy & they talked guy stuff. Like the game they both watched the night before. I didn't watch sports on tv unless it was MMA or if I was with someone who wanted to watch.

Nick & I walked over to a small coffee stand nearby & ordered some coffee, while Phil walked off to talk on his phone. Nick was looking down at his phone, so I didn't say much. I was about to ask him about his vacation when my phone rang. I looked to see it was Bomba calling me. I answered it then walked a few feet away, to talk to him, without Nick hearing me. I listened to Bomba tell me how much he wanted to see me before I left for my vacation the following week. I assured him I'd see him soon.

As I was finishing up the conversation with Bomba, I walked toward where I had left Nick standing. Bomba told me he loved me & I said it back, wondering if Nick heard me. I kinda wanted him to hear me, honestly & I know it's wrong, but I didn't care. Bomba had told me he loved me a few months ago & it took me a month of hearing it before I said it back to him. I felt bad that I even said it, actually, since I didn't mean it. I wasn't in love with him. I wasn't even falling in love with him. In fact, the truth of the matter was, I kind of wanted to break up with him. He was getting too clingy, for my taste & I liked him, but it was more like a friend with benefit type of feeling I had. I cared about him. I enjoyed the sex, but I wasn't feeling mushy & romantic toward him. I had to force myself to be romantic, unlike when I was with Wilmer. I wanted to shower him with love & affection & do romantic things for him, but for Bomba, I had to really tell myself I wanted to do it.

I hung up the phone, as Phil walked toward me & Nick. "Nick, I forgot to ask how your dad was." Phil said as he reached for the coffee that Nick had ordered for him.

"He's doing well, thank you for asking."

"Good. I'm glad he's good."

"Me, too. It was scary, that's for sure. When I think about losing him, I can't handle it."

I scowled, walking toward Nick, then asked, "What happened to your dad?"

Nick cleared his throat then told me about his dad's cancer scare. I stared at him, for a moment, trying not to let him know how mad I was for not telling me sooner. His dad was important to me. His dad was a part of my childhood & after what his mother had just said to me, in February, I wondered why he didn't tell me. I closed my mouth, my lips forming a tight line since I was angry but didn't want to say anything to upset him, out here in the open.