Can't Run Away

part 2 chapter 6

         Jasmine sat in her room.  She was thinking about what Selina just told her.  "She was married, she had a daughter, but they both died.  Her daughter died under her professional care.  She felt it was her fault, I remind her of her daughter and she always thought her secret would end with me.  She turned to her second choice specialty in nursing to escape the emotions and pain, she never thought she would see me again.  She thought I wouldn't remeber her or recognize her.  But I did, and she told what happened.  She trusted me.  I see why she acted nervous around me.  She remembered me, but she didn't think I remembered her.  I'm glad I did." Jasmine thought.  Everything made sense.  Jasmine was still confused about one thing.  "Why did Selina go through all this to keep this a secret?  She didn't need to keep losing her daughter and husband a secret." Jasmine thought.  Eventually Jasmine will get her answers.  She fell asleep.  She had a dream about her dad's wreck again.  She woke up in a panic.  She laid back down, but she couldn't fall asleep.

       She missed her dad.  She felt the wreck could have been avoided.  It was her dad's fault.  If he had been wearing his seat belt or if he turned right to take the long way home; he would still be here.  Instead he kept going straight into the other car and he hit it.  If he was still here, her mom would still be here!  It was all her dad's fault!!!

     She cried herself to sleep.  When she woke up, she had a major headache.  She felt terrible!  She decided she wasn't going to do what she had planned.  She was going to paint a landscape of this forest she read about.  It was a dark picture, but now her head hurt so much she wished she could go back to sleep.  She wished everything was back to normal.  Her leukemia was advancing and it had everyone worried.  But she didn't know this.  She just knew she felt worse and she had to get treatments more often.  nobody was going to mention this to her.  Selina didn't have the heart to say this.  Penelope didn't either, and nobody else knew about how bad Jasmine's case was.  They would have to eventually. 

         Selina made up her mind to tell Jasmine how bad her cancer was and why she kept everything a secret.  She couldn't keep anymore secrets.  She was sick of lying and hiding her feelings and making up things to make it seem like everything was okay.  It wasn't ok.  There was more going on.  No one was going to find out.   Selina quickly went into her office.  She didn't want to talk to anybody.  She had too much going on and interacting with people seemed too risky.  She had to interact at some point, she is practically the boss of everyone on this floor.  She had a surprise coming for her; a down-grade.  She wasn't the head nurse anymore!  She had an email that stated she was de-promoted.  "Who could they possibly have found to replace me??" she said out loud.  There was a knock at the door of her office.  A very happy Penelope walked in.  She said "Why are you in my office?"  Selina went from shocked to furious!  "You are my replacement?!!  I trained you.  That is impossible.  I was your mentor, there is no way you beat me out of the head nurse position." she said angrily.  Penelope said "The people spoke and they wanted me!  You should be glad you don't have the extra pressure anymore.  Now, get out of my office!" Penelope said with a smile.  Selina walked out slamming the door behind her.  She was beaten out of her job by Penelope, who has barely been on the floor for four months!  She went to the nurse's station and sat at the desk.  "Penelope, out of all people.  How did she get this huge promotion I was working towards for two and a half years?  Impossible!!  I worked for so long and she takes it from me!  The 'people' don't speak the executive does.  She made a huge mistake.  Penelope isn't ready for all this!" she mumbled angrily under her breath.  Stephanie walked up and sat beside her.  "What is wrong with you?!" Stephanie asked, sounding shocked.  Selina said "Penelope took my job as head nurse!"  Stephanie laughed.  "Not so fun  when it happens to you; remeber you did that to Jennifer?" she said.  Selina rolled her eyes and said "She deserved it!  I had been on the floor two and a half years when that happened, Penelope has been here for four months!  She can't handle it.  The stress, pressure, demands, and you have to manage being everywhere at once; is nearly impossible for me, she really can't handle it.  I trained her, she can't even handle nursing by itself."

            Stephanie rolled her eyes.  Selina walked away.  She went into Jasmine's room.  She finally said "Things are going to be different.  First thing; I'm not head nurse anymore. Second, your cancer is still progressing.  Third, I need to do a blood draw."  Jasmine held out the arm with her IV in it.  Selina got the tubes of blood from her line and sat them aside.  Then jasmine finally said "Who took your job?  You are the best nurse on this floor, no one can replace you."  Selina mumbled "Penelope."  Jasmine was as shocked as Selina.  She was speechless.  Then the reality of her cancer sunk in.  "Am I going to die?" Jasmine asked.  Selina silence was unnerving.  She was never silent.  She always had an answer.  "I don't believe you.  I'm not going to die!  Everything will be fine!  Don't lie to me!  I have too much to live for.  Everything will be fine, it always has been fine!" Jasmine exclaimed.  Selina finally found her voice.  "I wouldn't lie to you, Jasmine.  I have no reason to.  You are going to die, I'm sorry.  I didn't want to be the one who told you.  I was going to leave it to Penelope, but I knew you wouldn't believe her and I would have to touch on the matter at some point." she said with tears in her eyes.  She walked out quickly.  She didn't want anyone to know she was crying.  The last time she lost a patient, her daughter was the patient.  She went the only place that was still save.  She walked into the break room.

      Penelope was in there, too.  Selina finally spoke up.  "Why are you in here? You have your own office.  You don't need the break room anymore.  I just did your job by telling Jasmine she was going to die.  Do you realize how hard that is to do to a girl who hasn't even seen her teen years, yet?  No, you don't because you never had to do it before.  Go back to your perfect life.  You wouldn't understand!" she said.  Penelope turned around and she finally went out.  She hated Penelope.  Selina just did the job the head nurse is supposed to do.  She sat down on the couch in the corner of the room.  She began to cry.  She just had the second worse day in her career.