Can't Run Away

Part 2 Chapter 13

Selina's POV

"Nicole, Jasmine is dying; she needs more specialized attention and care.  That doesn't mean you are invisible.  You have a family, you have people who care.  Jasmine is all alone.  Don't get upset with me please!" I say.  Nicole turns away and doesn't speak.  I act like she didn't do that to me.  I still care, but Jasmine doesn't have much longer to live.  "Nicole, I need to start your medicine again.  Your IV is already in so I just start flow and give you a quick shot to make it stronger.  Give me your arm that doesn't have the IV in it." I say softly.  Nicole moves her arm closer to me, still not making eye contact.  I give the injection quickly and I put the IV bag on the pole and unleash the clamp.  It is a prepatory dose, before radiation, so it stings slightly.  Nicole pretends she doesn't notice, but I see the shock slightly playing on her face.  "Stings a little, right?" I ask.  Nicole ignores me.  I roll my eyes and rock out.

Penelope meets me outside the door.  "I'm resigning.  I quit nursing.  My children need me and I am almost never home.  You can go back to how things were before I ever came." she says hiding all emotions.  For most it would be hard to read her voice and expressions, but I can tell that she is sad and hurt.  She doesn't want to quit, but she feels she needs to.  "I see your point, I almost did this before, but I decided that it isn't right to quit; I just needed to manage my time better and spend equal time at home and at work.  Does that make any sense to you, Penelope?" I reply with disappointment and sympathy playing with my voice.  Penelope disagrees and hands me a piece of paper before leaving, with tears in her eyes.

I stumble back.  I am very shocked.  I have my position back, but one of the best nurses just quit!  I am torn between my win and this whole floor's loss.  I go back into my old office, all my original deocrations and furniture remains.  I sit behind the desk and think.  I look through files and make a few calls.  I call the head of the hospital with the sad news and the news I am promoted, by the head nurse right before she quit, I am back in the position I work best.  The stress and pressure just makes me a better nurse.

I check my cell phone and I have 15 new texts.  I read each one.  Most of them are congratulating me for the promotion, but some are from people who grew close to Penelope.  I was touched by each message.  I saw there was a new nurse supposed to be coming to work on this floor today.  I groan.  The stress is on, but it works perfectly.  I giggle at the irony.  Penelope hates the pressure, but I can't work well without it.  Someone knocks on my door gently.  I am shocked, it is probably the new team member.  I get up and open the door.  The new nurse dashes into my office eagerly.  "Hi, you must be Emma.  Welcome to pediatric oncology.  This will be your first day, it's ok to be a little nervous, but don't let your nerves get to you." I say just as eager as she seems.  Her long dark blonde hair hangs in her face, a definite no-no.  I look around my office.  "Can you pull your hair off your face, it's a safety hazard." I ask.  She nods and then realizes she doesn't have anything to pull her hair away.  I hand her a few bobby pins and a ponytail holder.  She looks in my mirror to brush her hair into a pony tail.  She ties it tightly.  Her bangs won't fit into her ponytail, so she pins all the hair back off of her face.  "There!  Who is going to be my mentor, I only an inter after all!  I'm still in nursing school, I'm just doing my pediatric and oncology rotations in one go." the new nurse says.  "I am going to be your mentor, like I am to most new nurses, or in your case interns, Emma!" I say happily.  She nods and then my pager goes off; five times!  "We need to go, my pager keeps going off.  Something is probably going wrong!" I exclaim.  I leave my office with Emma trailing behind.  Stephanie meets me.  "We have a new patient that is being extremely difficult.  She kicked me in the face.  Look, a bruise!" Stephanie says angrily.  I am shocked.  This isn't going to be easy on anybody to do.  A new patient that is probably scared and hurt is always hard to deal with.  I should know.  "Stephanie, calm down!  She is probably just afraid and upset.  Which room do I need to go to?" I ask calmly.  I know that if I act upset, then Stephanie and Emma will see that there is a reason for concern when there probably isn't anything to worry about.  Stephanie guides me to the room at the back of the floor.  I knock as I walk in.

"Hi, I'm Selina, the head nurse.  I understand you are giving the other nurses a hard time; anything you want to talk about?" I say, like I used to about a thousand times a day.  I don't get an answer.  The girl can't be more than eight.  "Please, leave me alone.  I hate hospitals and now I am forced to stay in one for a year or two!  None of these nurses understand where I'm coming from.  Just get out of my room, now!  Get out!" the young girl screams at me.  I take a step back.  I bump into Emma and I fall over.  Emma giggles softly.  I look up at her.  Tears are in my eyes as I stand up slowly.  I look at the chart Emma holds out.  "Giovana, this is totally unexceptable!  Stop this at once, it isn't fair to anyone trying to take care of you!  I have tried to be nice, but I am done being nice to you." I say angrily, not trying to hide the hurt in my voice.  Giovana ignores me and she starts yelling at me again.  "Get out!  You don't understand me at all!  You are just mean!  You say you tried being nice, but you haven't tried in the least!  Just leave me alone!!" she screams at me and Emma.  Emma holds up her hands and she walks out of the room.  I walk over to Giovanna.  I take her arm gently.  I clean her arm and tie a torniquet tightly on her arm.  I stick her vein gently, but firm enough to get it in deep enough.  Giovanna tries to pull away and she screams loudly.  The tube goes in and the needle is pulled out quickly.  Giovanna pulls away once the tube is in.  She picks up an ink pen and she stabs it in the IV bag.  I drop it on the floor as all the medicine squirts out.  Emma walks back in at exactly the worse time.  Giovanna throws the ink pen at her.  Emma is immediately angry.  She storms out slamming the door behind her.  I ignore this reaction and I pick up the bag, now empty.  I page a custodian to come to this room.   I throw the bag into a biohazard bin and I sit on the edge of Giovanna's bed.  "What is this really about, Giovanna?" I ask, as calmly as I can manage.  Giovanna starts to cry.  "I hate that I had such bad luck.  None of my other friend's have to stay in the hospital.  I am lonely and afraid.  I don't want to be bald, I don't want to be sick.  Please just don't!  I want to go home!!  My mom said she isn't coming to see me and my dad left us.  No one cares, don't act like you do, this is just a job that you went into!" Giovanna answers tearfullly.  I force her into a laying position and I connect the IV medicine to the tube in her arm.  The medicine starts to flow in rather quickly.  I take Giovanna's upper arm and clean the pale, thin skin.  I stick her gently three times, with Emma following suit.  Emma is a bit more firm and she is a lot less sympathethetic.  I put the bandages on and I walk out quickly, not leaving Giovanna time to get upset with me.