Can't Run Away

p2c23 (Jasmine's POV unless stated)

I wake up, feeling a little better.  I am able to eat and I'm happy.  I'm just waiting for the next thing to happen that will stir things up, it may be small, but it could be big.  I just want to enjoy the peace.  The very next thing I know is Dr. Baker and Selina coming in.  They are clearly arguing.  I try to speak up, but Selina snaps "Not now!"  I flinch and sit silently.  They seem to be arguing about my treatment.  "Just knock it off!" I yell.  Dr. Baker turns to me, "Not. Now." she says angrily.  I bite my lip and try to ignore the arguing. 

Selina connects my IV and leaves, still locked in an argument with my doctor.  I put my head against the pillow and fall asleep.  I want to forget they were ever arguing.  I want to transfer hospitals.  I don't like my doctor and she is so rude.  This hospital doesn't have the best treatments and I can make this decision.  I hit the call button as soon as I wake up.  Stephanie comes in and I blurt out that I want to transfer to the best hospital in the country.  Stephanie nods and pulls out her pager.  She types quickly and mumbles to herself when she gets the response.

"You will be transferred by ambulance in about half an hour.  It's a four and a half hour drive to the hospital and then you have to go through admission and tests and then treatment." Stephanie says.  I nod.  Then she leaves.  Five minutes later, Selina bursts through the door.  "You're transferring four and a half hours away?" she asks, hurt.  I nod and ignore how upset she seems.  "Why?" she asks.  "I just want better care." I answer as I pick up my sketch pad.  I draw until she gets the gist that I'm done talking.  She walks out, silently.  Then 20 minutes later, I'm put on a stretcher and all my tubes and my IV is taken out.  I wince slightly as Selina does so, not trying to be gentle, working through a fog of emotions.

Then I'm loaded into an ambulance.  I am lowered down to where the portable bed is level with the floor.  I fall asleep.  When I wake up, I'm in the hospital's admission area.  A doctor and nurse is waiting for me.  "Hi, Jasmine, I'm your doctor.  My name is Ken and my nurse's name is Carly.  We'll both be working with you the whole time you stay here.  Where are your parents?" my doctor says, introducing himself.  "My parents are dead." I say quietly.  They nod and just copy the information onto the paperwork. 

I wipe away my tears and Carly gives me a tissue.  I smile at her as she puts all my information into the computer system.  Dr. Ken turns his attention from my chart, to me.  "You have to have a spinal tap and bone marrow biopsy.  Nothing to be afraid of." he says.  I start to sweat slightly.  "Actually, I'm really afraid of needles." I admit softly.  My doctor and nurse both nod, taking note of how afraid I look.  Carly speaks now.  "I'm sure Dr. Ken is very gentle.  Don't be afraid." she says, standing beside me.  I look at my feet.  Then we're going to an operating room.  I'm put on the metal table.  I fight this a little.  "Jasmine, don't move unless Carly moves you." Dr. Ken says as Carly positions me.  I tense up and try to breath.  "Jasmine, relax deary." Carly says.  I relax and Dr. Ken speaks.  "Okay, I'm going to numb your hip now." he says.  I take a deep breath and close my eyes.  "Little stick now." Carly says, looking at what Dr. Ken's doing. 

I wince slightly, the numbing medicine stings.  "Okay, he's going to start the bone marrow biopsy in a few minutes, just give the medicine time to work.  Let him know when you're completely numb." Carly says.  I tune into my hip and how numb it feels.  Slowly, the stinging disappears and a very weird feeling sets in, numbness.  "I'm numb now." I say.  Carly nods and hands Dr. Ken the large needle.  I see it and start to panic.  "N-no!" I whimper, sitting up.  Carly sighs.  "You need to keep still.  Lay back down and close your eyes." Dr. Ken says, pushing my shoulder down.  I lay down and let myself be positioned.  I close my eyes as I feel something cold being rubbed on my back.  It stings where the first injection was placed.  Dr. Ken waits a few more seconds before Carly starts to talk. 

"Jasmine, I'm going to count to five, when I reach five Dr. Ken will stick you.  Just relax and take a deep breath when I say so.  One....two....three...four.......deep breath...five." Carly explains, as Dr. Ken sticks me.  I blow out when I feel the sharp stick.  "Ow!" I yelp.  Carly holds me still, anticipating my struggling.  "Jasmine, you are doing very well.  Just stay focused on my voice and your breathing." Carly says, then she continues talking about a lot of random topics.  I add in when I feel like I can't take anymore pain, trying to feed into the distraction.  Then the needle is taken out.  "Very good Jasmine." Dr. Ken says, speaking for the first time since he started doing the biopsy. 

I sit up and let my fearfulness melt away, we're done.  "Jasmine, we're not done yet.  I still have to do a spinal tap." Dr. Ken says.  I feel my eyes tear up.  I've always hated spinal taps.  I don't lay down, I ignore Carly and Dr. Ken trying to get me to lay down.  I'm finally forced into a laying position.  I start crying.  "Jasmine, you're alright!  He hasn't done a thing, yet.  Just calm down." Carly says.  I stop crying, my breathing still a shudder.  Once I calm down I feel something cold in the middle of my back.  "No." I cry.  "Jasmine, calm down.  I'm just cleaning your skin." Dr. Ken says.  I close my eyes as I see Carly hand my doctor a large syringe full of, what I assume to be, numbing medication.  "Jasmine, he's just numbing your back so the spinal tap won't hurt nearly as much." Carly says as soon as I feel several sharp sticks, followed by a lot of stinging in my back. 

I sit up again, as soon as Dr. Ken has numbed my back.  "Carly, start an Intravenous line and sedate her, if you don't we will never get this done!" Dr. Ken says, trying to speed this along.  "No!  No needles, I hate needles, they hurt and I don't like the idea of being punctured." I say, loudly.  Carly rubs my arm gently.  I pull away.  "Jasmine, if you let me sedate you, then you won't remeber any of the spinal tap." Carly says, already drawing up a syringe of sedation.  I nod and hold out my arm.  She cleans my hand and sticks me, starting my IV.  I pull away, but once again Carly anticipates this.  She tapes down the tube and puts in the sedation, the last thing I remeber seeing is her black hair and pale, smiling face.  I relax, feeling calmer than I've ever under sedation.

I feel the spinal tap, but it isn't as intrusive as it is when I'm fully aware.  I feel like I've had a double dose of sedation and laughing gas.  I'm taken up to a room, I close my eyes, to sleep off the sedation.