Chasing the Wind

C H A P T E R 32

Warm Liquid

"YES, your sister Margaux was a very chubby baby when your mother gave birth on her. Kinakabahan ako the whole time na sumisigaw siya noong nagli-labor siya kay Margaux. She was cussing all the nurse and doctors sa sobrang sakit ng pag-ere niya. Seems like Margaux don't still want get ouy from her mom that time because kahit anong gawing pag-ere ng Mom mo ay ayaw pa rin niyang lumabas. Alam yata ng kapatid mo na tatalakan lang siya ng nanay niya paglabas niya kaya nagpumilit siyang manatili sa loob."

"Talaga Dad?" Tawang-tawa si Niko habang nakikinig sa kuwento ng Dad niya. Nasa harap niya ang Dad niya at pareho nilang pinagsasaluhan ang roasted chicken at beers na dala niya.

The night really went well as he followed Cheesy's suggestion on him. To treat his father a dinner. Iyon nga lang, he avoid senstive topics about Cheesy Demoiselle and about his gender that could destroy this moment na matagal-tagal ng inaasam ni Niko.

"But Dad, seriously, I want to ask you a question but it's up to you if you will answer this or not." Tumitig si Niko sa mga matang kahulma ng sa kanya. Mga mata ng Dad niya.

"What is it, my son?" Inabot ng ilang segundo ang pagsagot ng Dad ni Niko sa kanya. It was a question but it was a permission that allows him to throw a question on his Dad.

"Dad? Why do I feel like you are very distant to us? Bakit minsan, pakiramdam ko, nilalayuan mo kami?" It was a very brave question from Niko. Hindi iyon kasing senstive ng mga tanong na nasa isipan niya pero, mabigat pa rin kahit papaano ang tanong na iyon that it requires a lot of courage to utter it.

His Dad took a deep breathe. Nag-lean back din ito sa swivel chair nito at ipinatong ang naka-lock na mga kamay sa tiyan bago sinagot ang tanong ni Niko ng isa pang tanong.

"Why did you ask suddenly Santinielle?"

Lumagok si Niko ng beer at yumuko. "Kasi Dad, habang lumalaki ako, ramdam kong lumalayo ka sa amin. Oo nasa isang mansion tayo at family size lang table natin sa kitchen pero alam mo Dad, kapag sabay-sabay tayong kumakain, hindi mo kami kinakausap at pakiramdam ko, sa tuwing nangyayari 'yun, nagiging sobrang haba ng mesang iyon. Kahit mabilis tayong kumain, pakiramdam ko Dad, ang bagal-bagal ng panahon kapag nagsasalo tayo ng hindi nag-iimikan. Kung gaano kalaki ang bahay natin, ganun din kalaki ang espasyong namamagitan sa pamilya natin. Too distant with each other. Too far to hold. Kahit pa ang lapit lapit lang natin sa isa't-isa."

"Why?" Mabilis na sinagot ng Dad ni Niko ang sinabi niya." Hindi ka ba masaya sa mansion na'tin. I worked hard for that mansion. And it's even the most expensive mansion here in the Philippines. Aren't you satisfied with it Santinielle? Maraming tao ang walang bahay ngayon. You must be happy and be contented with what you have."

Ipinantay ni Niko ang tingin niya mga nagngangalit na tingin ng Dad niya. "Dad, 'di 'yun ang point ko." Ang kaninang pagyuko ni Niko ay napalitan ng pagtaas-baba ng kanyang balikat. He was trying not cry infront of his father pero mga taksil ang luhang kanina lang ay nasa likod niya. He was biting his lower lip for him not to create a loud noise pero naging maingay at mabigat ang pag-iyak niya.

While he was in a deep pain, he's wondering kung ano ang reaksyon ng dad niya sa pag-iyak niya. Apektado ba ito? O parang wala lang ba ito sa Dad niya?

He throw the thoughts away, afterall, he must be contented with what he have as what his dad told him.

The beer he had bought has some dosage of alcohol on it kaya mas lalo itong nagpatindi sa emosyong nararamdaman niya ngayon. Hindi pa rin tumitigil ang pag-iyak niya.

"Point? I know your point Santinielle. You want me to explain things that may just hurt you. I know that you know already why I am so distant with your mom pero tinatanong mo pa rin ako. Like what the heck Santinielle? Just accept the fact that our family is a great mess. That I don't love your mom and I just mary her dahil may lupang ipinamana ang mga magulang niya sa kanya. I marry her not because of love, I marry her because I was just practical. If it wasn't your mom that I mary, hindi magkakaroon ng ganito ang pamilya natin. Like look at this buildings that have, we hire smart persons to work for us for the rest of their lives. Can't you see it? We have slaves! These idiot people are working for us. Kahit pa pumunta tayo sa ibang bansa, we can do it. We have all the time. And that's all because I mary your mom. And you know your mom? She was an idiot! May lupain sila pero hindi niya alam kung paano ito palaguin. I took the advantage and look at us now, nasa taas tayong lahat while our slaves are keeping us richer and richer everyday."