infatuation//the sandlot

August 21, 1962

It's been around a month, and today was the start of a new year. School year. No Veronica, no psychotic people. Except, maybe Philips, but he's no problem.

I groan pulling at my hair, "Need help"  Jazmin said from the closet. "Desperately" I mumbled brushing it out for the tenth time, "Scott go on without us we'll walk" She said pulling a rubber band off her wrist, she began working her magic and soon enough I had a bun.

"Tadda" she said handing me my backpack. "Thanks" I mumbled heading to the door. "Your welcome very much" she said opening the door before me. We headed out, the sky was dark, but not dark enough to make me feel uneasy.

"Who's that?" Jazmin said pointing to a girl with curls. "I don't know, probably new. At least your not the only one" I mumbled, seeing that she had already captured people's attention. Philips heads up to her withholding a small flower.

"He needs a new girl" Jazmin mumbled, The girl accepts the flower a blush creeping. "Nice to meet you Ivy" Philips announced, as we walked inside. "When's free period?" She said, "I think we get during fifth...no that's lunch.... Oh during seventh" I said trying to form an answer.

"Thank God we got the same periods" She whispered looking at everyone around us.
~~~~~~
Lunch rolled in quickly, the day passing by a little to fast. Even thought it had passed faster last time I was here.

"So what you eating" Jazmin said peeking at my tray, "Here" I said handing her my chips. "Here" she mumbled slowly handing me her muffin, "Nice trade neighbor" she said in a western accent.

I waved her off and began to eat, "Can I have that muffin?" Someone asked from behind me, Ivy. "I'm sorry, I have an obsession with them" I said, she smiled brightly. Philips leaned over the table to tell Ivy something. "Just wanted to make sure no muffins were being thrown out" she said letting out a small laugh.

A genuine smile grew on my lips, I turned around to get my muffin. "Hey!" I exclaimed seeing that Benny ate it, "What's wrong Babe" he mumbled the muffin making his cheeks look chubby. "Your adorable, have I told you that?" I said looking down at my other muffin.

"Scotty" I groaned seeing him exactly like Benny, "Hey man get your own ways into tricking her into not hating you" Benny said after finishing the muffin. "What's wrong sis" Smalls said looking at me, puffing his cheeks.

"Stop, just eat it" I said looking down at a third muffin. My eyebrows scrunched up, "Who's is this?" I asked looking at the boys. "Keep it, no fees or added taxes" Yeah-Yeah said from beside Jazmin.

"You'll get a prize" She whispered, very audible. As expected the table erupted into a choir of groans.

"Seventh period, decent period" Jazmin sighed pulling me towards the courtyard. "What does that even mean?" I ask, she shrugs me off.

She leaded the way, I looked around not really familiar with this part of the school. She pushed open a set of double doors. "Here we ar-" she suddenly shoved me back into the hallway.

"What's wrong?" I asked, she peeked back out the door. "If I let you see, please promise me you won't do anything stupid" she mumbled looking me in the eyes, "I can't promise anything" a sudden rush of anger.

"No wait" She said, but it was too late. Tears poured unwillingly, Benny was on a full on make out session with Ivy. Probably the most passionate kissing I've ever seen.

"What the hell!" I shouted everyone's attention brought to me. Including Benny's and Ivy's, "Jacqueline it was an accident, please" Benny begged pulling away from Ivy. "No it's alright" I said walking back to the hall, "It doesn't have to be like this" he said getting near me.

"No, Benjamin" I said before closing the door. Jazmin enveloped me in a tight hug, "I'm leaving" I mumbled walking to the exit. "I'll come with" she whispered. Pulling me out the school.

Another tub of ice cream, that makes three today, I don't want to know what it's going to do to my body.
~~~~~~
It was seven, school released a couple hours ago but knowing Benny he went to the Sandlot. No one was home except Sankofa, Scott and me.

But Scott was dead silent, "Go get it!" I shouted hearing knocks at the door, directed to no one in particular.

"No, you go get it!" Jazmin shouted from the restroom. I groan pulling myself out of bed. I walk down the stairs, my now messy bun bouncing up and down with each step.

Dreading what was waiting for me at the door. I opened the door, after taking some deep breaths. Benny standing there looking down at his shoes. "Leave" I mumbled. "You win," Benny said finally.

He rubbed a hand over his uneven hair. He sounded tired. I had been about to shut the door on his face, but I took my hand away from the door knob.

"I didn't win anything. Do you think this is how I wanted it?"
"Yes" Benny replied. He didn't look at me. "Yes, I do".

Hurt and anger warred furiously inside me. "Don't be shitty".

Benny picked and picked at his necklace, that I had gifted him.
"You know what I wanted", Benny said. "You know this wasn't it".

"You act like it's my fault". I said remembering everything from just a couple hours ago.

"Tell me your unhappy about how this is going down" Benny said, it hurt, it hurt seeing his lips on Ivy's.

"Tell me you love...." But then he stopped. He dropped his head into his hands. His thumbs worked through the hair above his ears, over and over, the knuckles white.

He sucked in his breath, it was the ragged sound that came from trying not to cry. I thought of one hundred ways to fix this, but it seemed obvious that we weren't on the same page anymore.

I closed the door, slumping my back against it, letting it all out. Sobs filling the house, "What's wrong?!" Jazmin said running down the stairs. I just sobbed more, how could I live without him.

"Stand up" She said, I followed her instruction, "Man up, he's a bastard for treating you like that! I ship you both, but damn you idiots don't know how to stay out of trouble" she said pulling me upstairs.

"Sleep, now. You'll think clearer tomorrow in the morning" she said turning off the lights leaving me to figure out the next hours on my own.

My sobs soon turned into whimpers.
And my whimpers soon turned into soft snores.