Broken

• Chapter 16 •

"Speak of the devil. Ashton, why are you late?" Ms. Shanice places her hands on her hips and raises her eyebrows at him.

He gives her a small piece of paper, and now I know that he's mute. I haven't heard a single word from his mouth. Ms. Shanice looks down at the piece of paper and sighs, "Take a seat, Ashton."

He nods and glances around, eyes locking on mine when he catches me staring at him. My heart immediately drops, I don't like how intimidated I am by him. I've only ever been intimidated by one person in my life, and I never want to feel that way again.

I look away from him and take a deep breath in, willing myself to get my shit together. By the time I glance back up, he's no longer there. He has already taken a seat beside Kate who proceeds to plant a kiss on his cheek.

"Alright, people. I'm gonna show y'all a mandatory introduction video," Ms. Shanice tells us in a bored tone of voice, turning back to her computer.

She stops and sighs when she opens up her computer, rubbing her temples. She turns back to us and stares straight at Dustin, "Dustin, why were you at my computer?"

"Psht, miss! I was sitting here the entire time!" he retorts.

Ms. Shanice raises her eyebrows and folds her arms across her chest. "Really? CAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER LOOKIN' UP FRIED CHICKEN!"

I can't help the burst of laughter that surges through me, and neither can anyone else in the class, apparently. Wow, is everyone just openly offensive and funny? I suppose it makes sense, being in such a multicultural school, no one really gets offended by anything. And that's the way it should be.

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"This is what we call a cafeteria..."

I sigh, "Aya... I was homeschooled. Not retarded. I know what a cafeteria is," I tell her.

"Hey girls, Minty," Eric sneaks up behind us and stands next to me. My blood can't help but simmer in my veins.

"Hi, Eric!" Aya tells him.

He nods his head at her and turns to me, but I keep up my cold demeanor and stare straight at Aya. "Everything okay?" he whispers.

I turn to him and give him the fakest smile I can muster. "Just peachy," I snap. "Girls? Let's go find a table?"

Aya and Hana press their lips in straight lines awkwardly as I make my way to a table without them. I set my bag down and glance back at them, Eric is speaking to them. I roll my eyes and make my way to the counter, grabbing three bottles of water and paying for them at the cash register before walking back to our table.

Aya and Hana make their way towards me, Eric is no longer in sight.

"So, what classes do you guys have after lunch?" I ask as I hand them their water bottles and take a bite out of my marvelous peanut-butter sandwich.

"We need to talk."

I snap my head back to see Eric standing behind me, staring at me with dark eyes. I turn back to my food. "Eating. Later, Eric," I wave him off and take another bite of my sandwich.

I hear Eric grunt behind me and next thing I know, I'm being picked up and swung over his shoulder. Aya and Hana's eyes grow wide with amusement as I begin getting carried away from the lunchroom.

"How cute! I want! SOMEONE COME CARRY ME OUTSIDE!" Aya yells out as Eric drags me to the courtyard.

I'm too shocked to say or do anything for a moment but I eventually find my voice.

"WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE? LET GO OF ME!" I punch his back, causing him to accidentally drop me.

He offers his hand, which I swat away as I dust my knees off and get up in anger.

"I needed to talk to you," Eric shrugs.

"OKAY, BUT I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW. I WAS EATING!"

Eric sighs, a painful look shoots through his eyes. "I couldn't wait forever, Minty..."

My heart sinks inside my stomach, straight to the point, huh? I grow quiet, a sudden sadness washes over me. My eyes begin watering and my throat tightens.

"I'm not mad about that," I lie softly.

Eric looks like he wants to say something, but keeps his mouth shut. He quietly examines me and I am determined to let him know I'm not at all affected by this.

"I'm mad at the fact that you didn't tell me," I snap.

"Minty..."

My heart breaks slightly at the softness of his voice and my nickname, which makes me angry. I don't want him to know he has hurt me. "No! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Honestly?" he asks softly, "... I don't know," he kicks the floor underneath his shoes.

I remain quiet and fold my arms across my chest self-consciously, building my walls up. "I—I guess I didn't want to hurt you... Or for it to change anything between us," he tells me nervously.

"Eric. We're best friends. That's it. Why would it change anything?"

He gives me a knowing look and glances down at the floor, he knows I know that's not all we felt. I drop my shield for a second, the question scraping at my heart.

"How long..?" I whisper.

His eyes meet mine. "Six months. Look, Minty... I didn't know you were coming back, I—"

"Would you be with her if you did?"

"No."

We both exchange pained expressions, he grimaces guiltily and runs a hand through his hair, honest with his next words. "But I am, now... And I really like her," he admits.

My heart breaks at this. Perfect. Awesome. My life rocks. Walls are back up.

"It's fine, Eric. Honestly. It's not like I still had feelings for you," I try to reassure him with an easy-going tone of voice. "It's been eight years. I've moved on," lie. "Really. It's fine. I'm happy for you... Next time just tell me, okay?" another lie.

He remains quiet for a moment, eyes completely torn and unsure. He nods slowly, "Sure..."

"Great," I force a smile and look away from him, afraid to break in front of him. I pretend to rummage through my bag to turn away from him, "I gotta go, now. I'll catch you later, yeah?"

"Yeah..." he mumbles quietly as I walk away from him.

I bite my bottom lip from quivering all the way to the bathroom and break as soon as I walk into a stall. What is wrong with me? It's not like we promised each other we'd be together. For fuck's sake, emotions suck.

I can't deny the fact that I'm extremely heartbroken at the moment. My best friend that I've been crushing on is in a relationship with some random girl. Worst of all, he actually likes her. That's what pains me the most. That he has feelings for another.

She probably doesn't even deserve him. I do. I deserve him, he's mine! He's been mine for years!

I sigh deeply and splash water on my face. I need to get my shit together. I have to pull myself together and act as though him being in a relationship doesn't faze me in the slightest. I will not be embarrassed and sad. I will not let him know I'm hurt. I refuse.

He's my best friend. And if having feelings for him means losing his friendship, then it's not worth it. I'll just have to hide them and pretend everything's normal and completely platonic.

Dear God, help me.