Broken

• Chapter 108 •

Ashton's arm is wrapped around my back. I'm snuggled onto his chest. I smile and bite my lip. I'm so profoundly happy at this moment. Nothing can take it away from me.

"Shit. What just happened?" Ashton's eyes blink open, he has been passed out for an hour.

I sit up in confusion, "Um? We just fucked. Good morning?"

He sits up and rubs his temples before checking his watch. He looks panicked. "Fucking hell, fuck me."

"I just did," I shrug.

He groans and runs a hand through his hair. My eyebrows furrow in worry, I extend my hand to his face. He flinches and moves back, eyeing me guiltily. "What's wrong?" I ask.

"I just—I... Fuck. I need some time. Please."

"What? I don't understand..."

He swears underneath his breath, "I can't—I can't do this. I'm so sorry, please... Just leave."

My heart sinks into my stomach, I'm going to be sick. Did he just say he couldn't do this? After we just had sex? I cling to my stomach, feeling like I'm going to spill my guts out at any moment.

"The fuck you mean you can't do this?"

He looks at me in pain. Guilt and remorse fill his eyes. What the hell happened? "Did I do something wrong?" my throat is throbbing.

I don't understand what's going on... Is he breaking up with me before we're even together? I feel so stupid. Did he just want to sleep with me?

"No! Fuck, no you didn't. I just... FUCK," he throws a pillow across the room. "I can't fucking do this right now. You don't understand. I'm sorry, I need to be somewhere. You need to go."

Ashton slides his clothes back on and tosses me mine. I stand in silent shock. My heart is shattered into a million pieces. Did he just use me for sex? Is that what's going on? Where does he have to be right after we had sex? He urges me to put my clothes back on and leave. I stand frozen, unable to say or do anything. My mind is elsewhere. I'm dreaming. I must be because no pain I'm feeling right now can be real.

I've always heard about heartbreak, but I never knew what it felt like. Dad said it was alright to make mistakes and get hurt, but I didn't know I'd do it so quickly. What the fuck just happened? I thought we were on the same page. I was so sure.

My mind wanders back to this instant. I blink several times, finding myself dressed and Ashton handing me my shoes.

"W-what the fuck? WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?" I shove him.

He stares at me silently, he looks constipated. The color has drained from his face. He shakes his head, "Just... Leave, please."

Unbelievable. I scoff, pick up my shoes, slap him and storm out of his room in a shattered and angry fit.

"Minty!"

I turn back with a broken heart, but my pain is replaced by anger. I walk up to him and shake my head in fury, "Don't ever fucking speak to me again."

"Fucking shit. Fuck," I hear him cussing and breaking shit in his house as I rush off with a hand to my mouth.

Hot tears pour down my face, I shake as I get onto my ride and drive. How can something go from perfect to shit in such a short span of time? What the actual fuck happened? Did I misread everything? Was I blind? That must be it! Mom was right!

"Minty, what's wrong?" Eric looks panicked. I'm crying outside his house. I hadn't realized I'd driven out here in the first place.

I wrap my arms around him and cry into his shirt. "H-h-h-he u-used me f-f-for s-s-sex!" I sob pathetically. "What the fuck? WHO did? I will fuck him up so bad. Tell me what happened."

I can't form proper words, so he sighs and rubs my back, "Let's go for a walk."

He leads me outside his house and we eventually decide to sit on a curb on the side of the road.

"Talk to me. What happened?"

I take in a shaky breath and tuck my hair behind my ears, "I've no fucking clue. I um, I finally grew some balls and told Ashton I had feelings for him."

Eric is silent.

"And I uh—I told him. And he kept saying no you don't, and saying shit that didn't make sense. He kept protesting, saying he wasn't good enough for me and that he was a bad person and shit," I shake my head in confusion. "And then... Then we kissed. And it got heated... One thing lead to another," I'm on the verge of tears again.

I inhale deeply, "It's not like I regretted it. I was so sure I wanted it, I thought we were on the same page. I thought I knew who he was, but it turns out I'm just as big a fool as mom was—" I sob into the palm of my hands. Eric pulls me into him and kisses the top of my head.

I've never felt so used in my life. Eric holds me in a strong embrace, rubbing my back.

"No, Minty... That sounds really weird. I've seen the way he looks at you. I wouldn't expect this from him... Or he's just a massive dick and he is a bad person. If that's the case, I'll beat him up. Can't promise I'll win, I'm not as built as he is, but fuck I'll tear him to pieces—"

I shake my head and snort, "Fuck off, Eric. You wouldn't hurt a fly."

He smiles softly, "I would for you."

Eric's eyes snap up behind me, he yanks me towards him and I land on his lap. A stupid biker almost runs into us, and would've definitely run into me had he not pulled me out of the way.

"You okay?" he asks.

He places his hand on my cheek while mine grips his shoulder in shock. His eyes meet mine, then flick down to my lips. Suddenly, I have a pair of lips pressed on mine. My eyebrows furrow in confusion, but I eventually melt into it. I'm mad at Ashton for using me, for making me feel pathetic and stupid. I kiss Eric back angrily, channeling all my hurt emotions into him. He pulls back, staring at me in confusion.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that..."

I press a hand to my forehead, "Well, shit..."

He shrugs, "I mean, it was nice... But there were just no—"

"Sparks?"

He smiles down and shakes his head, "Yeah... No sparks."

We're silent for a while. I lift his chin up so that our eyes meet, "Well maybe that's a sign..."

Eric gives me a sad smile, nodding his head in agreement. I get off his lap, sitting next to him on the sidewalk. He pulls my legs over his lap and wraps his arm around me as I lean my head against his shoulder. We sigh in defeat, our hearts in tangled and frustrated messes. He's upset about Isabella, and I'm upset about Ashton.

Perhaps things would be different if we had kissed a year ago, but now... Now we know that feelings fade and change over time. We may have liked each other a year ago, but we're leading separate lives now.

We are simply meant to be friends.

- DEREK -

"You've got five minutes, kid."

I turn back to see the security guard let in my favorite go-to guy. I smirk as I sit in front of him.

"Ashton. My man."