Broken

• Chapter 102 •

By the time I made it outside, Ashton had driven away in an angry fit. I jumped into my cruiser and followed him to his house. I've been outside his door for half-an-hour.

"Fuck off, Clem. I told you I'm not in the mood."

I've been thinking about the entire situation. Kate isn't exactly a bad person, I suppose. She's only human. She shouldn't have cheated on him, but I guess you can't help who you have feelings for. I just hope she hasn't hurt him. He seemed more pissed off about her defying and lying to him than her sleeping with someone else.

"Cool, well I'll wait out here in this freezing weather until you are in the mood."

Silence. Then a groan. The door finally opens. I stand from my seat on his steps and dust my butt off, cocking my head at him. He rolls his eyes at me and storms off to his room. How charming. I follow him and scratch the back of my neck hesitantly.

"Are you... Okay?" I glance around his room, it's a bit messier than usual. A few empty bottles of beer are laying around.

He takes a swig from a whiskey bottle before letting out a bitter laugh, "Fuck's sake Clementine. I'm not a goddamn thirteen-year-old girl. I'm fine. Just pissed off," he snaps as he takes off his jacket and chucks it across the room.

I awkwardly sit in his chair, not knowing the right thing to say. "Are you... Pissed off that she cheated..?"

"No, I'm pissed off that Trump is president! The fuck kind of stupid question is that? Obviously, I'm goddamn pissed off she cheated on me," he hisses.

I narrow my eyes at him and roll my eyes. He purses his lips, "Not like I can be that pissed. I haven't exactly been the perfect boyfriend either."

My eyebrows knit together, he's been cheating on Kate? With who? Why am I jealous all of a sudden? He sees my facial expression and rolls his eyes, "There's no one else. Clem don't act stupid, we almost kissed. I'm just as shitty on the lying scale," he says casually as he peels off his shirt and tosses it in his laundry basket.

My jaw has dropped. I can't believe he's saying it so upfront and casually. What the hell do I say to that?

"You know, for someone with such a high IQ, you should've gotten the hint that I don't want you here," he says as he gulps down a considerable amount of liquor.

"I was worried about you."

He clicks his tongue in irritation, throwing his shoes across the room, "I'm fine. Jesus, just go."

"I'm not going anywhere."

He snaps his head back at me, "You're so annoying, I don't want you here! Leave."

I shake my head and sink back into his chair, "Nope."

He snarls, I can see that he's getting irritated that I'm being so stubborn. But I can't leave him alone, especially seeing how much he's drinking right now. After the last time, I'm sure he'll end up in a goddamn coma. I walk up behind him and touch his shoulder.

"Stop being difficult," I tell him.

He turns around at an inhumane speed and grabs my wrist, looking at the bracelet he's given me. "Why do you wear it?"

I snort, "Um, because you gave it to me? Do you want me to put it up on a display?"

He sighs and shakes his head, "That's not what I meant. You just... You haven't taken it off. I wanna know why."

What the hell? "I don't know, Ashton? Because I like it?"

He rolls his eyes, "Fine. Why'd you ask me to train you?"

I'm getting annoyed, what is he trying to get at? "Because I need to learn how to defend myself, we've been through this—"

He nods, "Yeah. Right. But why me? Your boyfriend is the captain of the football team, and very much into fitness."

My stomach tightens, I don't know what to say. I'm confused. "You could've easily asked him to train you, and it's not like you'd need an excuse either," he continues.

Hmm... I didn't even think of that. I don't know why I asked Ashton to train me! Do I have to have a fucking motive?

I snap out of it, "What are you trying to get at, here? I don't know why I asked you! Cause you know the situation? Because you're my friend—"

He shakes his head and blows out a soft laugh, "Bullshit."

My heart sinks into my stomach when he backs me up against a wall, hands on either side of my head.

"What are you doing?" my voice cracks.

He stares into my eyes, "You have feelings for me."

I frown, "E-excuse me?"

My body goes into panic mode. "Don't lie," he groans. I push him away from me, "What makes you think I have feelings for you, Ashton?"

Ashton pulls my arm back, my breath catches in my throat. My eyes widen. This boy makes me weak. "Why would you be here if you didn't?" his eyes are vulnerable, no longer angry.

My heart drums in my chest, I can feel myself falling. "B-because I'm your friend! I care about you..."

Ashton's eyebrows furrow in frustration. He grabs my waist, pulling our bodies together, I stop breathing altogether. "Ashton..."

"Don't you feel anything?" his hand caresses my face, softly stroking my cheek. I close my eyes as his touch brings a wave of comfort to my body. "Don't you?" he whispers as he presses our foreheads together. My eyes flutter open to meet his, he looks so hurt and vulnerable.

"Ashton..."

His fingers slide up my waist and tighten their grip, backing me against the wall. He leans in close, completely entrancing me. "Say my name again and I'm gonna kiss you Clem," he breathes against my mouth.

My heart stops and his name leaves my lips in a whimper, "Ashton."

He kisses me, hard. It obliterates every fiber of my being. My knees go weak, and I'm so thankful that he's clinging onto my waist because dear God I would've fallen. My hands tangle in his hair and butterflies erupt in my stomach. I tug him impossibly close to my body, wanting to feel his hands on me more than I care to admit. Passion and hunger ooze from his body, and I don't ever want to not be feeling this feeling. An annoying thing I recognize as my conscience pokes at the folds of my brain, reminding me that I'm technically still in a relationship. With Adrien. And I'm kissing Ashton.

Fuck.

I pull away from him and hold a hand to my mouth in shock. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Why did I let that happen? He looks just as dazed as I feel. His eyes are wounded, he looks like a lost puppy. I shake my head, putting my walls back up as this terrifying feeling flows through me.

I step back and fold my arms across my chest self-consciously. "We're just friends, Ashton."

He shakes his head, "I don't believe that."

He steps close once more, hands on my face. I take his hands in mine, pulling them away from my face, "No, Ashton. You're drunk and you're hurt because of Kate. Your hormones are all over the place! You don't mean any of this, you don't want this. Please don't ruin what we have," I plead with a throbbing throat, my eyes are watering and my hands are shaking in fear.

I don't know what's scaring me so much, I don't know why I'm so upset at the moment. I don't know why I'm so fucking terrified, but this can't happen. Not now, not like this. His eyes search mine for a while. Pain flashes through them before he turns and grabs his whiskey bottle.

He faces the window, "You should leave."

My heart breaks, "Ashton..."

"Now."

Shit. The tears threaten to leave my eyes, I bite my lip nervously. I've hurt him. An overwhelming need to run away takes over me. So I do.