Broken

• Chapter 107 •

"Clementine? What's up?" Ashton seems confused, he's dressed like he's about to go out. "We already had our training today—"

"I need to talk to you," I tell him. I need to get it out before I lose the courage or change my mind.

His eyebrows knit together, "Um... Okay. I guess I have a minute to spare."

I let out a shaky breath as I close his bedroom door behind us.

"What's up?" he seems nervous.

"I haven't been honest with you. Adrien and I broke up," I start.

He looks at me expectedly.

"Well, aren't you gonna say anything?"

He frowns, "I know. Is that what you came down here to say?"

I shake my head, "No! I mean, how did you know?"

He rolls his eyes, "Come on. Shit spreads faster than STD's at our school."

"Oh... Right, okay then. Why didn't you say anything?"

He shrugs, "What was I supposed to say? I kinda just wanted to let you tell me. You once told me you consider me one of your closest friends. I feel that way, too."

My heart flutters. It makes me happy to know I'm one of the closest people to him. "Is that all you wanted to say? Cause I have shit to do today," he scratches the top of his head.

I shake my head, "No. I uhm... I—" fuck's sake, Clementine.

Say it.

"I like you, Ashton."

I sigh, feeling a weight lift off my chest, "There... I said it."

He freezes, his face pales and his eyes bulge out of his skull, "No you don't, Clementine."

I'm confused, "Huh? I do. I know I denied it before, but I was just being stubborn. But then I thought about it and I realized I—"

He shakes his head, "Stop."

"I didn't wanna end up making the same mistakes as my mom, but life's all about growth and experiences, right? And hey, you would be a hell of a mistake if you were one," the word vomit is real.

"Clementine."

"I'm not saying that you are a mistake, I'm saying if you turned out to be one, it wouldn't be a bad one—" STOP. TALKING. CLEMENTINE. "God, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. I'm just really nervous because I've never done this and honestly I have acceptance issues, I know I should go to therapy—"

"STOP IT."

My eyes pop. He's standing right in front of me, eyes full of fear, sadness, and anger. My heart freezes, "W-what do you mean?"

"Clementine. You don't like me. You can't like me. You deserve better than me, I—"

I frown, "I want you, I like you. You're a great guy, and I respect you so much—"

"No, I'm not. I'm a bad fucking person, Clementine. You don't wanna make the same mistake as your mom? You are. You deserve better, do you understand?" his hands are on my face.

"I don't believe that for a second," I shake my head.

He laughs bitterly and shakes his head while walking away from me, "You don't know shit about me."

"I don't give two fucks about your past. All I know is who you are now, and who you are now is someone I want to be with," I snap. "I like you, Ashton. Nothing you say can change that."

Ashton is silent for a while, his back is to me. He turns his head slightly and I'm alarmed to find his eyes are watering. Is he going to cry?

"You don't want me, Clementine. Trust me. I'm not just saying this shit because I'm scared. Fuck's sake," he walks up to me and caresses my face, "I think you're sexy as all fucking hell. You're annoying sometimes, but you're brilliant. You're funny. You're real. All I can think about is you. Kissing you, touching you, fucking you."

My mouth runs dry, a fire ignites in the pit of my stomach. He presses my back against the wall and shakes his head, his voice in a low growl, "I fucking hate how much I want you." His hand barely slides up my thigh, and I want him to touch me again. But he pulls away and sighs instead.

"I'm telling you I'm not good for you for a reason. Now get the fuck out while you can," he turns away from me.

I frown and pull him back, taking his face in my hands and forcing him to look me in the eyes.

"I. Don't. Care."

Our eyes connect, and his eyebrows furrow. Hunger fills his eyes, "Fine then."

His lips come crashing down on mine, I respond immediately. My knees go weak as soon as our lips meet. I kiss him. I mean, I seriously kiss him. My whole body is suddenly awake. I can feel my heart racing, the press of his body against mine. His arms instinctively wrap around my waist and my hands grip his hair, pulling him closer. My veins throb and my heart explodes. I've never wanted someone so much.

I suddenly understand why people describe kissing as melting because every square inch of my body dissolves with his. He has me pushed up against the wall, hips hard against mine. All of these months of sexual tension are compressed into this one meaningful moment. I want to touch him, I want him to touch me. I want to have him, and I want him to have me. All of me. Without hesitation. Without a doubt.

I want it to be him.

I push him onto his bed and straddle him. I continue kissing him, arms wrapping around his neck. I bite his lip and his eyes open to meet mine for a moment. Then his lips smack against mine with a crushing intensity. He flips me over and gets on top of me. He begins kissing my neck, and I haven't had enough of his lips. I pull him back up and kiss him with a burning desire I can't extinguish.

I tug at his shirt while he pulls his pants off. With one swift movement, he rips my clothes off. His eyes lock on mine, "You're so damn hot."

I grin and pull him back to me. My hands cling to his back, urging him to give me his all. I bring my lips to his and kiss him passionately, tugging at his hair and pulling him impossibly close. Ashton presses his hips against mine. The weight of his body on mine is extraordinary. I feel him—all of him—pressed against me. A jolt of electricity bolts through my body as he kisses my neck once more.

Our hands entwine and slide above my head. Our kisses deepen and intensify. I feel his heartbeat under my skin, I can feel my pulse pounding in time with his. I kiss him once more before giving him my all.