Losing Control

Chapter 7 // The Goodbye

Dan's POV:

I arrive at BBC, I sign in at the front desk. I make my way through the building. People are staring, because I'm not with Phil. A worker comes up to me, ''Where's Phil?'' ''He's in a....'' I pause. ''He's very sick, he couldn't make it in today, so we can't go live today I'm sorry.'' ''Oh, well tell him I said get better soon.'' Oh how I wish I could. I make my way into the studio. ''Hey guys, Phil's really sick he won't be able to make it and either can I.'' ''Oh, okay hope he's okay.'' Me too, I say to myself. ''I might be on leave for a while, same with Phil.'' I start to get teary. I have to hold it in. I hate having to do this to our workers and the phandom. ''Why, what's wrong?!'' ''You can't just leave!'' I feel a tear fall down my face. ''BECAUSE PHILS IN A COMA OKAY AND I JUST HAVE TO LEAVE.''

I ran out of the building. I get outside, there is already fans waiting. They are screaming and asking for photos. Also asking for Phil. ''You know where he is, he's quit YouTube okay, same goes for me, were done!'' I see their faces drop, the sadness wash through their eyes. I see the worry spread over their faces. Maybe that was a bit harsh but I can't take it anymore. They wanted to know so there.

Still Dan's POV:

I'm standing there next to his hospital bed. So many thoughts racing through my head. Not wanting to say goodbye or leave his side, but I have too. I take a seat; I wipe the tears from my eyes. I hold his hand. ''It's for the best okay Phil, I'm losing everything I care for, and I'm losing control and slowly losing hope.'' I hear a faint sigh from behind me. I turn my head, its Amber; with her arms crossed, she just stands there. ''Can you leave please, I need my space.'' I say politely. ''Why are you running from your problems Dan?!'' ''It's okay, I'll be here when he wakes up, he needs someone strong to be there for him, and I'll be his hero, not you.'' I'm so shocked on what she had just said. ''What?!'' ''Seriously!'' ''I have my reason; you just came into his life and ruined everything! You are meant to be a fan. You don't even care about him do you!'' She comes closer. ''I'm sorry, I'm just so frustrated, I like him a lot.'' I'm so confused... She cheated on him basically... ''Why cheat then? He saw the text on your phone, why do it.'' ''You don't understand, it's my ex, he won't let me go, and I'm done with him.'' I still am very confused. ''What's with his contact name then!'' She looks to the ground. ''I wasn't sure if I wanted to get over him completely so I didn't change it but that day with Phil I realised I'm ready to move on. I will leave you'se two alone for a bit. Where ever you are going, be safe. If you're sure about this. I care about you also." She leant over to me and kissed me on the check before spinning around and exiting the room.

I had a lot to think about with Amber but I couldn't focus on that right now, I had to say goodbye, I turn back to Phil. I fix his sheets then I fix his hair up, making him look nice. ''Phil, I never got to tell you but I appreciate you so much, you were the one who got me into YouTube, made my life worth it. You are the best friend. And the past week, the stuff I've done and felt has made me realise, how much I love you. Philip Michael Lester, I think I love you. I want to spent my whole life with you, I want to wake up and cook you breakfast. I just want to be with you. Wake up for me Phil, so I don't have to leave and so I don't have to give up and forget all the memories. Please wake up.'' I rest my head on his chest. Sobbing making his blankets wet. I can't help it; I actually think I love Phil. But I'm not gay, why do I feel this strongly about him. I feel something move. I arise I see Phil's arm twitch, omg! ''PHIL CAN YOU HEAR ME.'' I stare at him waiting for an answer, my heart pumping. Tears run down my face. He mumbles a few words. I watch his lips move as he says ''I love you.'' I hug him tightly. ''Phil, can you hear me!'' He moves his lips again. ''I'm falling for you so much, Amber.'' He then stops moving again. Nurses run in ''He spoke, he spoke!'' ''You're going to have to leave. Visiting hours are over.'' I get pushed out of the room.

Amber?! HE SAID HE LOVED AMBER. The one time he speaks, the one time I get to hear his voice and he says that. At least it's something. But it hurt a lot. Why would he say that, I've sat by his side for most of the week! That's it, my last goodbye, I have to leave. I go to exit the hospital as a nurse approaches me, ''He's still in a coma he may have spoken to you, but that all he was capable to do before his body shut down again. I'm very sorry. We will call you, if there are any changes.''

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The chapters have been getting a bit bleh. Sorry, it's just family problems make it hard for me to write about this situation. Hopefully it will get better again, next chapter should be up soon. Thank you c: