Losing Control

Chapter 29 // Growing Urges

''Dan! Dan! Dan wake up!'' I shout. I shake Dan, his eyes don’t open. ''DAN WAKE UP!'' I shout even louder.

~Earlier that day~

Phil's POV:

''Look at her! Her dress looks as if it’s made out of Beatles!'' I laugh uncontrollably. Dan & I were making a YouTube video together apologising for the time we were away. We decided to keep the whole 'coma' thing our little secret. Because everyone would go crazy and we didn’t want to attract attention. So we simply said we took a break to visit family and plan future events. Okay so the Beatles thing... Yeah well the other day I got a tweet from a fan and she had tweeted a horrific photo of the ugliest dress ever! So I was telling everyone because I felt it was needed haha. ''We are happy to be back and we have missed you all very much, so be looking forward to videos to come.'' Dan said to the camera with a reassuring smile.

After we had filmed the video we didn’t want to edit straight away because we didn’t want to rush back into it all and pressure ourselves. And we were so thankful with most of our fans being understanding. But some people were demanding videos. I wish I could just tell them the real reason. Because sometimes when people expect more of me I get very overwhelmed and pressured and that leads to stress. Which is something I am avoiding. Well I better thinking about dinner because I’m quite hungry. It’s almost 5pm already I think!

Dan's POV:

Oh my god, that video was probably the most fun I’ve had in a while. I’m happy to be back and laughing with him and talking to the camera. I can’t wait to edit it and watch it back and laugh at myself. Ugh it’s getting harder to hide my feelings. Like when he says something really funny, I try not to over laugh. I can’t compliment him when I think he is looking perfect. This video you can clearly tell I have some sort of attraction to him. Ugh I’ll have to cut as much as I can out. Sometimes I feel like I should tell everyone and just get it all out. But I can't.

****

I could hear Phil doing something in the kitchen so I decided to go check on him. I walk in and he was just cooking dinner, it was Mexican food. ''Need a hand?'' I ask. ''I’ve got it.'' He says sounding peaceful. ''How have you been?'' I ask him unsure of the answer. ''Actually I’m feeling great. Probably going to invite Amber over tomorrow, is that okay?'' He requires politely. At that very moment my heart sunk. And it’s not because of my past with Amber, the fact that I couldn’t handle to see them together. But she made Phil happy... Something I wish I could do. The urges are coming on strong. Lately I’ve just wanted to push him up against the wall and kiss him hard. But I know I have to control it. ''Dan??'' Phil says with a concerned voice. ''Uh yeah, why wouldn’t I, she’s always welcome.'' I pause before continuing. ''I might go to sleep early tonight just been an eventful few days.'' Phil just smiles back at me. I felt bad for leaving him tonight and not eating the food he cooked for the both of us. But I wasn’t feeling good.

Phil's POV:

Dan was really weird tonight! And I’m even more worried. He is such a kind person. And I don’t know what’s wrong with him. I should ask when I get a chance. I want to know if he is okay. If not he needs to know I am there for him, always. I know it’s not Amber, it couldn’t be. That reminds me I should text her and invite her over tomorrow.