Losing Control

Chapter 10 // The Arrival

Dan's POV:

Pj & Chris should be arriving this afternoon sometime. So before they get here I have to go see Mr. Peters. And probably clean up a bit. The past day or two, I’ve felt a lot better surprisingly. There’s at least 4 hours a day I don’t worry about Phil. I’ve been eating normally, although my sleep is still a bit off. Just every time I close my eyes I see the flashbacks of the last day with him or all the good times I had with him... Or when I met him. But I’m proud to say I’m feeling a bit better. I stand by the sink; popping the tablets I need out of the trays. I pour some water in a cup; sitting the tablets on my tongue; then swallowing.

 ***

I arrive at Mr. Peter’s office without any dramas. ''Take a seat Dan; happy to see you again, you’re looking much better.'' Hey says politely. ''Yeah I’ve been taking my pills, eating normally and at least 4 hours a day I don’t worry about Phil.'' I smile. ''Very good, what have been doing during the days?'' He leans back and makes himself comfortable. ''Well my good friends, Pj & Chris are coming to stay.'' ''Excellent, and so they know about how you love Phil?'' I freeze remembering that I haven’t told anyone other than Mr. Peters that I may love Phil. ''Uhm well not yet.'' ''Well make sure you tell them while they are with you, they will understand and support you.'' ''But that’s the thing I haven’t told myself yet, haven’t admitted it.'' I say quietly. ''Well I can safely say that what I see in your eyes, is love. The way you speak about him and the way you care. That’s love. I don’t know all your history with him, but I know you have a lot of history with him. I say go for it.'' He laughs. I smile to myself. ‘‘Yeah I love him.''

I get home; I look at the clock as I walk in and throw my keys on the table. Its 2:47. Well they will be here soon and my place is a mess. I think about Phil but this time it’s not sad, it’s a happy thought. Because this time, I know I love him. Not to say I didn’t feel a bit sad, because even if he woke up, I could never tell him.

 ***

Its 3:24 and there’s a knock on the door. I open it to see a familiar face. ''Chris, haven’t seen you in a while!'' ''Hey buddy, you’re looking great.'' He walks in and places his bag down. ''Pj! Welcome, my place isn’t anything fancy but it has a roof and that’s a place to stay.'' I say smiling. ''It’s nice, should visit more often from now. How you been?'' ''Yeah, how you holding up.'' Chris joins in. ''Well actually pretty good, I eat all the time now, I get average sleep and I don’t worry and panic about Phil as much.'' ''Why is all the attention on me anyway, he was your friend also guys!'' I laugh. Chris puts his hand on my shoulder ''Yeah but you two have a past and history, you guys even live together!'' ''Yeah you guys built and have a life together with the radio show and all.'' Pj adds. ''Yeah I guess, should we all get comfortable?'' ''Hell yeah, some TV would be nice.'' Chris says while finding his way to the lounge room. Pj & I follow.

It’s about 6; we have all been talking and catching up for hours now. ''Dinner soon, I’m a bit hungry.'' Pj says while fixing his hair as he sits up. ''Yeah maybe we could go out and eat?'' Chris says excitingly. '''Oh guys actually I don’t want to visit a restaurant for a while if you don’t mind.'' ''Of course man.'' Chris says. ''Pizza?'' Pj asks. We call up for the pizzas; they soon arrive. We are all siting around by the TV, all I can think about is telling them how I feel about Phil... The words just won’t come out. ''Pj tell Dan about the girl you are seeing!'' Pj gets embarrassed ''Oh shh you, uhm well yeah Dan I met a girl.'' I could totally tell them right now. My mouth opens, the words sit on my tongue. ''Uh Dan?'' Pj says concerned. ''Sorry haha I drifted off, that’s great! What’s her name?'' ''Katie.'' ''Well I’ll have to meet her sometime, I’m happy for you man!'' I say, hating myself for not telling them.

It’s about 11, we are all so tired. ''I think I’m going to go to bed soon, sorry I’m just so tired lately.'' ''Yeah us too Dan.'' Chris says. ''Show us where we are sleeping.'' Chris says afterwards. They can stay in the spare room; it’s only got a double bed though... ''Ugh well the spare room only has a double bed, down with sharing?'' I ask. ''Yeah we don’t mind.'' Pj kindly says. ''OMG!1!!1 kickthestickz is real guyz.'' Chris says sarcastically. Pj nudges him and laughs. ''When you’re ready we need to find you a girl too Dan.'' Pj says while smiling. Here’s my opportunity. Go on say it Dan. Okay here it goes.... ''I’ve already found someone.'' I feel the regret set in and sit in my stomach. ''What, who, tell us her name?!'' They both say and stare. ''Uhm, well, it’s uh''... I pause for a second to work up the courage. ‘‘It’s a 'him' and it's Phil.'' They both stand there in shock. ''Well I’m tired, night guys.'' I say feeling too awkward to continue the conversation. ''Can we talk about this tomorrow.'' Pj asks looking supportive. I nod. ''Hope you both sleep alright.'' I say smiling. ''Oh we won’t have time to sleep because all of the hot crazy sex we are going to have.'' Chris says laughing. Pj laughs with him. I begin to laugh; Chris always makes everyone laugh no matter what situation.

***

 

This was just filler. I start school again. So back to uploading normally. So like once every week or 2, sorry. Leave a comment if you want telling me if you’re liking this phanfic or not. Not sure if anyone’s still liking it.