Delicate Chocolate Eyes

Chapter 4

Fuck this. Fuck that. Fuck everything.

I kick the chair infront of me where Jamie just sat on. She just left and I can hear the cardoor. She won't leave. She will come back and tell me she hates me. She will tell me how much I hurt her and then how much she loves me. Yeah, fucked up right?

Earlier on

"Why are there two wine glasses here?" Jamie asks and I sigh looking at her. I had a massive hangover and I really just wanted to sleep. Yes were 'seeing eachother but she was so fucking annoying. All girls were. They get so damn attached.

"Spencer?"

"What?" I snap, groaning out from my headache.

"Theres lipstick on this glass." She says and I look at her.

Okay, I had commitment issues. Yes.

"What do you want to hear? Yes, I slept with her yesterday. We got drunk and we had sex not once but a fucking lot. Not because I was drunk but because I wanted to. I invited her over and oh it was good. To be quite fair, I can't remember whether her name was Sandy, Sally or Victoria."

"Why do you do this?" Jamie has tears rolling down her cheeks now.

"I can't be bothered for this. I have a headache."

"You tell me you love me and then you keep hurting me. You tell me you wanna be with me but you do all this disgusting things."

I knew I fucked things up but hey it already happened. Why was she reminding me. I loved her to be honest. She was the only girl I have ever liked, hell even loved. However, I couldn't do this. I was not the relationship type. I was built to break every relationship with a girl in my life. Why? I don't even know.

I had a great childhood to be honest apart from my mother and father cheating on eachother. I did not care really. Just shows how you're not supose to be with one person.

I pick the chair back up and sigh. I run my fingers through my hair and then drink some water. I treated girls like absolute shit. I would get what I want, ditch them afterwards.

Jamie walks back inside. Her hair is pushed back into a ponytail and she has bloodshot eyes. She cried. A lot. I feel like shit.

"I hate you.. so damn much." She says pointing her finger at me. She swallows and I stare at her. "I hate you I hate you I hate you." She says and starts hitting my chest. I don't stop her. I deserve this.

"You've hurt me so much in this year. Hoe have I ended up with someone like you? You tell me you want to be with me but then you start going around with these girls and then you tell me what you did to her. I am tired of this.. You are hurting me too much. I thought you loved me!"

"I do love you. I just don't know what to do with it"

"I love you so much."

"Were just friends." I tell her and she looks at me. Before I know it, she is ripping my clothes off and I throw off the glasses and shit on the table before I grab her and put her on the table. I take off the stupid dress she is wearing and I fuck her.

Whatever I did, she would come back to me. I was ruining this girl and I knew it.

This is how we ended up together. Always.

Joshua's POV

"So she left you?" I ask Spencer who is sitting opposite me on the kitchen stool. I have Freya sitting on the table and I am holding her so she doesn't fall. She learned how to sit on her own and I was proud.