The True Happiness

Chapter 21

“Niall, we kissed and have been together twice, if you know what I mean. And I just wanted to know... what are we?”

I stayed in silent for a minute. I wanted to tell her to stop being so stupid and realize that she didn’t live in a book with perfect lives and unbridled passion. I wanted to tell her the truth, that I do not give a damn and I was just making fun of her, to see her face and finish with this shit.

But I had to participate in her perfect story and couldn’t ruin the story of the princess. And thinking about all those cheesy phrases I'd read in novels and I'd ever heard on TV I said what I thought was perfect.

“Whatever you want us to be.”

She smiled at me, showing me that row of perfectly white pearls, probably because going to many times to the dentist. She stared at the slow descent of the sun behind the sea.

“They say that when you find the true happiness you can see how the sun winks at you, with its last ray, before die and give way to the night.”

“Have you ever seen it?”

“Yeah, when I was six.”

“Those are many years without finding happiness,” I mentioned. She hugged her legs and smiled against the skin of her knees.

“Yes, many years. What about you? Have you ever been happy?”

“Believe it or not I also was happy long time ago. Before she got sick and everything came down,” I murmured and leaned on my elbows as I watched how the first stars began to shine in the sky.

“People who cling to what they believe is to be happy, just to not feel pain, are stupid.”

“They just try to be happy, that's why we're here, right? Pain is something that sinks and you can never come to the surface,” I told her.

“That's not true,” she complained and looked at me with her brows furrowed.

“You think you know a lot about the pain? You probably haven’t even felt it.”

“I have lived worse things than you, so yes I know what I'm talking about. If you didn’t feel pain you wouldn’t know differentiate the good times from the bad ones and you would not find meaning to life.”

“I don’t want to fight so we’ll settle this subject here.”

“As you want.”

“But... I want to know more.”

She shook her head no.

“Curiosity killed the cat.”

“But saved the mice,” I wiggle my brows and she giggled.

“I’d never heard that part.”

“You see, I can teach you things too. Now, are you going to satisfy my curiosity or are you going to let me die with all these questions in my head?” I questioned and she closed her eyes.

“Do you have specific questions or do you want me to tell you another part of my story?”

“I want you to tell me exactly what happened when you were sick. I want to hear everything from the beginning.”

“Okay.But I do not want your pity.” “I don’t feel anything for anyone,” I reminded him.

“Only a huge love for alcohol, cigarettes and sex. A great life you have.”

“I won’t deny that.”

“Well. It all started on a trip we took to Paris. I had just turned five and they took me to Disney Land. Any child dream. Then we went to see all of Paris. One morning we were in the pool and Dad noticed a red spot on my leg. The nurse said it was a sunburn, they threw me a kind of body lotion. We continue walking through the city and within hours other stains began to appear.