Crash: Forsaken

Changes

"Alissa," he started with a heavy sigh.

"Forget it," I said getting up with the sheets around me.

I already knew he was going to say no. I just needed to say it one more time. Directly; so in my subconscious I know he knows that I wanted him to stay.

I looked around for my dress but it wasn't there. Where the hell could it be? On the fucking stair case?! Can I freaking kill someone already?!

"Here," Derek said handing me a pair of shorts and a hoodie.

"Thanks," I mumbled before letting the sheets slip and got dressed.

Once I was fully dressed, I grabbed my shoes and left his room. I wasn't mad. Not at all. But I needed to give myself a head start on how my day is going to be without him around me all the time.

"Good morning, sunshine," Triss threw my way bitterly and flopped on the couch. He looked like shit to be honest, and I'm sure his hangover is even more shitty. In a pile of red cups and clothing items, I found my purse. It smelled like piss or something. I sure as hell was going to throw it away the minute I get home. The smell was seriously disgusting. Unbearable. I might as well just take my phone and leave the damn thing here. I grabbed my phone, trying not to look at all the missed calls I have, and dialed Ian. Note the sarcasm when I say missed calls. 

'Good morning, miss Alissa.'

"Morning Ian. Can you come pick me up?"

'I'm already outside.'

"God bless you," I said dramatically hanging up. I am grateful that he was already outside because Derek was coming down the stairs. He had his eyes trained on me and determination in his pace. I rushed out of the house, leaving my purse behind, and into Ian's car. Ian had pulled over right in front of the house, so I wouldn't have a chance of Derek calling my name or anything.

I wasn't sure if I'm truly thankful or not. I just knew that things weren't okay.

"Good morning America!" I joked buckling up.

"I'm Ian," he said with a frown.

Did he not get the joke? Or is he just a reminder of how miserably lonely I will be again?

"Yeah sorry. I forgot," I mumbled.

Why am I surrounded by shitty people?

"No problem miss."

"Will you stop by the drug store?"

A few weeks ago if you have told me that before I order Ian to do something I would use the words 'will you', I would've laughed so hard that you could've mistaken me for a lunatic. What changed? Derek scolded me like a child every time I didn't say will you or please. He always said that 'if Ian wishes not to stop by the drug store he won't. He's the driver, he gets to choose' and that I have to ask for it, not bark it. He kept repeating this every time I barked out an order until I finally stopped. Instead, I ask nicely. Bitterly but nicely. 

It's funny how in such a short time Derek changed me. Not drastically, but he made a few changes here and there. 

For the first time ever, I stopped thinking of Dylan every living moment of my being. I stopped yelling at my dad every chance I get; because Derek hates  it when I disrespect him. 'He's my father and all'. I stopped greeting my brothers as robots. Not because anything manners related, Derek hates them just as much as me, but because and I quote 'they're stupid assholes who don't even deserve to be addressed, not even as robots'.

Now I'm going back to sleeping in the library, alone. I'm back to not leaving my room except for the front door and the dinner table. I'm back to going out and coming back at 2 in the morning, so I wouldn't encounter any of them and back to the sleeping pills.