Finding Us Again

The Joy & The Chaos

Nina's POV---

Waking up in Ian's arms was everything I've been missing. It was like a dream. I've had this dream so many times. And my heart broke a little more every time I woke up alone. And now I felt like I was dreaming again. I was scared to move. I was scared I was gonna wake up and realize I was dreaming and everything was going to fade away.
Then I realized that this dream was a reality. I was actually wrapped in the arms of the love of my life. The arms that made me feel so safe and warm. So loved and comfortable. And for a few moments I was honestly happy. And then reality set in.
The arms I was wrapped in, the arms that belonged of the love of my life, my soulmate, those arms belonged to someone else. No matter what the situation may be. Ian is still married. He has a wife.

What are you doing Nina. He's married. He has a wife. This is so wrong. Was running through my head. I felt like I had a devil and an angel on my shoulders. My mind was going back and forth.

He's here. You're in his arms. He told you he still loved you and missed you. He's leaving her. This isn't wrong. This is what you both want. Enjoy it. There goes the devil on my shoulder.

I knew I needed to get up. I knew I needed to make this less awkward for the both of us.
I slowly got up, screaming inside the whole time to not wake Ian up. To not make noise so it wouldn't get awkward.

Once I was finally up and had made sure Ian was still sleeping, I started the coffee. I knew Ian was tired. And I also knew he was 100% comfortable. So he'd sleep for a bit longer.
While I waited for the coffee I got out the note pad from the drawer and a pen. I knew I was going to have to go shopping. There was no food in the condo. And I needed some personal items, so I started a list.

I made my coffee and finished the list. I stood there silent, leaning up the doorway with my cup in my hand. Just staring at the beautiful man sleeping so peacefully on the couch. The same couch that we spent so many nights on cuddling and watching movies and TV shows. The same couch we had slept on so many times together. He looked so relaxed, so peaceful and beautiful. I got lost in my own thoughts for a moment.

After breaking out of them I went upstairs to unpack a little and get ready to start my day. I had to go to the store and get everything. And figure out what was going on with everything else.

I had decided to play the music on my phone really low, so I could listen to it while unpacking and not wake Ian up.
I went into my music player and pushed play. Ed Sheeran's- Give Me Love started playing.
I picked up one bag and sat it on the bed. I knew exactly where everything went. The same place it was before I left here. I opened the closest and turned the light on only to be reminded that both Ian and I had clothes still hanging in the closet. Neither of us had taken all of our things out of the condo. And while we had decided to sell the condo when we broke up, neither of us could bring ourselves to do it. So we never did.

I hung up the clothes in the closet and started on the other bag, which was clothes that go in the dresser.
Chord Overstreet's- Hold on begun to play, the song from The Vampire Diaries series finale. It was one of my favorite songs. And anytime I thought of Ian and was sad I played it.
I was singing along to the song, folding the clothes as I was taking them out of my suitcase, with my back to the bedroom door. I had no idea Ian was standing there leaning up against the door with a cup of coffee in his hand, just staring at me.

"Jesus Ian, you scared the shit out of me." I jumped, startled a little.
He laughed.

"I'm sorry Neens. I didn't mean to. I just didn't want to disrupt you." He said with a chuckle.

"So you'd rather give me a heart attack for the 2nd time in 24 hours. Huh." We both laughed a little.

I stood there staring at him. Staring at this amazingly beautiful human being standing in front of me. And all I wanted to do was run into his arms and never leave them again.