-Bruiseshipping Oneshots!-

Feelings

//AN: Hc that Cole has a lowkey mood disorder but tells nobody because he's not comfortable with anyone else knowing?????????yes! sign me up!//


Cole held his head in his hands. Why? Why this? Why him and why now?! Cole's teeth were clenched and sweat was running down his face. His legs were shivering as if it was if the temperature was in the negatives. Cole had undone his bun just a moment ago, his band laying in a heap on the floor, entangled with strands of hair that were tore out of his head out of pure stress. He threw his hands off of his face and slammed them onto his kneecaps. Cole wanted to scream. He wanted to scream and get these feelings out. He wanted them to go away and never come back. Yet, it wouldn't go away. A swirling feeling in his stomach kept the feeling grounded in his heart and in his head, making it impossible to enjoy the slightest bit of...well...anything. It was really starting to get to him as well as starting to poke at his nerves. With a grunt, he got up and started to pace around the shared room. There wasn't much room to walk, but he treaded it. The thoughts in his cranium raced through his brain, thoughts such as-'you're doing everything wrong' 'you're friends don't like you' 'don't even try', etc. Cole felt the tears start to claw away at the back of his eyes, beginning to pour into the front of his eyes.

He slammed his fists against the wall once he came up to the wall, his teeth clenched even tighter. It killed him that he couldn't do nothing. If he tried to cry it out, his friends would hear and the truth would most likely be revealed to all of them. Same went with screaming the feelings out and the such. He wasn't the kind of person to just write their feelings down and leave it be, no, he wanted to get it out right here right now with a holler. He began to whine gently, his messed locks hanging over his eyes as he panted against the wall. He just wanted to feel normal. Cole wanted his emotions back. He wanted everything back, for it felt like everything was taken away from him at a moment's notice. Without warning, the door creaked open. Cole froze, his eyes going wide.

"Cole? What're you doing?" Asked Jay, concern obviously tainting his voice. Oh gosh how Cole wanted to scream at him about all his problems right then and there. His shoulders kept shaking as he felt like his body was frozen cold. He couldn't reply. Jay tilted his head, obviously confused by Cole's actions. He walked in and gently shut the door, making Cole inhale sharply, his shaking halting. Jay stared at him, his heart beat picking up just from looking at Cole. What was wrong with him?

Jay stepped slowly in the direction of Cole. Cole saw Jay start walking his way out of the corner of his eye before shutting them, frightened to death about what he might have to tell his partner.

"...What's the matter?" Jay asked softly, holding his hands out to show him that he wasn't any danger. Cole's breathing turned to a hyperventilating mess before it quickly dropped down to heavy breathing. This really worried Jay, causing him to walk a bit closer. Jay slowly and gently put a hand on Cole's shivering back. Cole twitched at the sudden touch and groaned, pounding his fists onto the wall yet again.

"I want to make the feelings go away, Jay,"Cole finally spoke, his voice devoid of any emotion. "I want them to stop doing whatever they're doing to me."

Jay started to let his hand caress Cole's back, listening to Cole and nodding along the way. True, Jay didn't understand a lick of what Cole was talking about, but it was important for Jay to be there for him. After all, Jay assumed that he knew the feeling of emotions crowding his brain, enough to drive him insane. Cole twitched again and his breathing spiked up. He pushed himself off the wall and rammed himself into Jay's arms. Cole's arms swung around Jay's sides and he squeezed tightly, holding on for dear life. The black haired teen then shoved his face into Jay's shoulder. Jay, obviously surprised, didn't do anything for a second. He had to take it in, take in what Cole was doing and why he was doing it. He gently squeezed the hug back soon enough, feeling the partner's heart beat against him. The heart seemed to be fluttering, but after what felt like a hour of hugging, it started to die down. Cole was silent. He just kept hugging Jay close, not wanting to ever let him out of his grasp again. A thought sparked. 'Imagine if the guys saw this.' That made a chuckle. He smiled and kept his face buried into Jay's jacket, letting out a long sigh.

---

"So...what happened earlier?" Jay asked with obvious concern. Cole sat on the side of the bed with Jay, his hands holding up his grumpy looking face.

"Look dude, I can't remember half of what happened." Cole sighed, looking over at Jay and then looking away at the wall. That was a half lie. He did know kind of what happened a half an hour ago, but his memory was a bit spotty with emotional stuff. Jay knew this right away. He raised his eyebrows and stared Cole down.

"That's a lie and we know it." Jay said, taking one of Cole's hands and squeezing it tightly. The teen looked at his partner, sitting up from his position. He knew that Jay really did care, and that's what killed him a bit inside. Cole didn't want him to know what he had to deal with. Jay had enough to deal with already and that was a fact. Cole thought that Jay didn't need another thing to worry about. But how was he going to clean up his mess this time without spilling the beans?

"I just got a bit emotional...that's all." Cole muttered, his sight still set on the wall across from them. Jay blinked and squeezed the hand tighter.

"...Are you sure? Some who just gets 'a bit emotional' doesn't have a break down like that." Jay whispered to him. The worried brunette started to swing Cole's hand around a little bit, a little mood brightener for the both of them.

"I'm...I'm sure." Cole grunted, returning the hand squeeze to show that he was pretty sure. They both sat in a awkward silence, still swaying their hands lovingly.

"I'll believe you this time," Jay finally said. "But if I see it again and it's worse, you're going to have a lot of explaining to do, Brookstone."

Cole smiled. "No need to worry, bird brain."