If This Is Love || Raura

23 | I'm Proud of You

If This Is Love: 23 | I'm Proud of You
| Laura Renae |

"Are we gonna talk about how amazing the song Laura wrote is or are we gonna pretend like my best friend didn't just sing her heart out for the first time by herself ever." Rydel says, putting some dry shampoo in her hair. "Because seriously, that was incredible and you absolutely blew everyone away." I smile at her while I put some moisturizer on. After I sang my song, the rest of the concert I had a massive smile on my face and no matter what, it wouldn't go away. Singing my song, it felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I have no idea why, considering I have Ross physically and mentally, but I felt a lot lighter and happier in a way.

"When did you even write it? And why the hell didn't we know?" Rocky asks. And here's the talk I was trying to avoid. I peak around the room, seeing the entire De St Jeor family and the Lynch family, all looking at us. Our bus call wasn't until tomorrow afternoon and we had a good hourish until we needed to be out of the venue (around 12:30am), even if Bauer was already asleep on a couch beside myself and Ross. Now I look at Ross, his gaze set on the floor and his hands in his lap.

"Um, I started the night before.... before Brianna came over for dinner." I quietly say. "And well... the first verse was actually about how Ross said we couldn't sleep in the same bed or whatever," I start, a little uncomfortable talking about this subject in front of everyone. Especially if Ross and I still haven't fully talked over what he did. "but everything else is how I felt about... the situation of him being with Brianna." The room was quiet for a second.

"I'm so sorry, Laura." Ross finally says, his head finally lifting up. I turn my head to the right, locking eyes with his, seeing the glossiness return. "I seriously fucked up and I know I was a jerk for doing that, and I can't image what you went through, especially with the sleeping thing because I know you never really slept, and I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have done what I did, but I can't take back what happened. I wish I could, but I can't." I give him a small smile, truly knowing he didn't mean to hurt me.

"I already told you that it's okay." I tell him. "Plus, without what you did, I wouldn't have wrote a song and faced my biggest fear-" Ross cuts me off.

"But-" I groan and semi-smack my hand over his mouth to shut him the up.

"Ross, stop. Look at where we're at right now. You and I are together, you and I are happy. It's okay, I'm okay, we're okay. If it's still bothering you, we'll talk later about it. But please, just shut the hell up about how sorry you are. Be proud of me for doing something that you know I had such bad anxiety about from  the day you helped me out in the supply closet." His entire body relaxed and his face dropped completely as he grabbed my wrist and pried my hand off his mouth.

"Laura, I am proud of you. I'm incredibly proud of you. Are you crazy? You'd think I wouldn't be proud?" Before I could respond, Ryland speaks up.

"Uh, you two should like... stop talking like you're alone because you're not, and I'm sure I can say for all of us that we're a bit uncomfortable and feel like we're intruding on an important conversation." Ryland explains, sucking in a breath at the end. Ross' grip on my wrist suddenly loosens at Ry's words, leaving him to place my hand back in my lap, a good half a foot away from his own lap where I wanted to hold hands.

"Right, sorry." Ross whispers. Again, it was silent for a few minutes, everyone looking around at each other in hopes someone would speak up.