Sparks Return [Completed]

13: The Day I Went to Waste

13: The Day I Went to Waste

Emil's POV

I will hate her. She left me. She's too good to stay. I ruined her. Thoughts to make her go away ran in my mind. I actually hate my idea but it's my only way. I have to get out. I have to move on. It would be hard, I know that, but I have to try. I will not only try it but I will do it. I took a deep breath as I looked in the mirror. I still looked like hell. How can I not when I drunk so much wine last night? I had bags under my eyes and my face looked darker. Or is it just me looking into the darker version of me in the future? I sighed as I put some gel on my hair. Once I finished, I took my keys, phone and my briefcase on the table. My parents were still asleep since it was still early. I left them without leaving a note. I will text them later. When I arrived at my office at Il Milgliore, silence greeted me. This place would be full of people in 2 hours though, I thought to myself as I went to the kitchen. My staff will be here to select fresh ingredients from the market and to cook food for our customers. I would be here to watch them work while they cook. I looked around the place checking if everything was great. Just looking at the wide kitchen with the clean and shiny pans and other kitchenware brought back memories of the hard work I did just to be here. All those sleepless nights I cooked until I got my perfect recipe right, those months I studied, the moments I got my first, second and third Michelin stars. Those were my unforgettable moments and Biya was with me in one of them. I got my third Michelin star because of her. I dedicated my effort for that food for her. I did great presentation for Magrandi dessert. It was a mix of her favorite food whenever she studied. It was all about her. Sweet. Heavenly. Perfect. It was disappointing that my hard work for her was now for nothing because of what I did. I don't even have any inspiration right now. I was never blank. When she left me for what I did back then, I was so angry at myself that I made a sweet and sour recipe just for what I felt. I was angry to her for not cutting me off in all the means of communication. Hell! I have written her letters and I have not received anything from her. I gripped the table tightly at the pain that hit my chest. Why do I have to go through this over and over again? Why can't my conscience get tired of beating me up? When will this end? It looked like and sounded like she didn't love me anymore but I was still hopeful about us. I can't erase the hope of us getting us back together. I wanted her back but I respect her wishes. Damn it! Why is it so hard? Why is it hard to forget her? To forget about us. The only thing that made me forget even for a few hours only was alcohol. I looked at the room where our wines were stored and I contemplated on grabbing a bottle. Maybe I should start now. I opened the wine storage and just grabbed a bottle without caring what type of wine and what brand it was. I took a glass and walked into my office. Switching the lights on using my elbow, I walked towards my table. Sitting there, I realized that even though I have everything now, there was something missing. I got restaurants, hotels, a title, properties, fame, wealth and more but I realized one thing. Even though I had everything, I never had my happiness. Of course my best friends, my family and my staff are always there for me to bring me happiness but I wanted the kind of happiness that makes me smile from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep. Biya. Damn it! Her name registered inside my brain just thinking of happiness that was everlasting. Why? Because she made me like that when we were together. I was more than happy when I was with her and now she was taken away because of my own reckless actions. I poured myself a glass of wine and began to drink. Glass after glass, more regret and thoughts come inside my head. With all the depressing thought that I had in my mind, there was a thought that kept on repeating inside my head and it was the only positive one. What if I will do my best to get her back again? She's my happiness. The thought made me confused since she doesn't want me back, I hurt her, I destroyed her reputation just because she was with me, she has someone – well, I think she has- and... and I love her. I still love her. How can I get her back though? God damn these confusing thoughts! I hate the indecisions I have. I have resolved myself of staying away from her and yet here I was contemplating in winning her back. I want her back. I need her back. That's for sure but just thinking of my decision made me look ridiculous. I had a long time to get her back. Why now? Fear. I have the fear. She had told me to go away. I have the fear that if I do take actions in getting her back, she really doesn't want me back. Do I risk again myself of getting hurt? But if I don't try again, how can I get her back? I have to risk myself of getting hurt. I have to win her back.