My FtM Journal

Today

I went to school on a Saturday.

Yep.

I had drama workshops I signed up for which was today.

So that was fun.

We only had like 8 people that came other than the teacher. Which was great.

Honestly I thought that they didn't like me because I'm the youngest and I thought I'm pretty annoying to most people who are older than me.

Anyway I sat near the middle of the bus near the teacher and I was reading.

I hear one of the girls who I thought didn't like me the most call my name. I thought she wanted something so I looked up.

She told me to come back and sit with them. I feel loved.

I actually got to be apart of the group.

We all day within the last 5 rows of the bus. Even the teacher came back and sat with us.

The teacher is so cool he got the bus driver to stop at Tim Hortons. I didn't go in. I just sat on the bus and read my book.

Then the teacher saw what I was reading, Girl Mans Up, and... This actually is really cool.

He knows that I'm a pretty masculine person as it is. He saw the book and our conversation,

Him *Nice choice of book.

Me *Thanks. It's new in the school library.

He pauses
Him *This is kind of a personal question, but, do identify more with being male?

Me *Yes. But when it comes to my dad, no.

I honestly love this conversation because he is so respectful about it too. Then his response is actually pretty cool too.

Him *I had a student that is the same way. He went to (different school name). He went through it all too.

This teacher is the best. Not to mention he made sure he waited until nobody was in the bus so I wouldn't be outed.

I loved the drama workshops. I learned quite a bit. However I did get quite the load of voice dysphoria. I didn't want to talk.

Everyone used he/him pronouns. They didn't really know me and I didn't know them. I was really happy to know that I'm passing as male.

My voice isn't as bad as it could be. A lot of trans guys have high pitched voices. I feel for them.

Anyway. I needed to go to the washroom and didn't know where to go. I kinda freaked out. I came around the corner and someone from the school came by. They asked if I needed anything and I asked where the bathrooms where.

She led me to them and said, "The men's washroom is on the right."

I felt uncomfortable using either washroom so I asked if they had gender neutral washrooms. She took me to the teachers room.

She didn't gudge me.

Today was a good day.

After today. I actually feel a lot more comfortable with being trans.

I'm thinking about coming out more in my school.

Once I choose a name....

Yep. Still debating over a name, and I hate it.