My FtM Journal

So, Anne

Before I start. Anne is not her real name. I just used the first name that I thought of. She told me she wishes her name could be Anne so...

So, Anne is tecknecly my best friend. She is a distance friend. I wouldn't call it long distance she lives 30 minutes away from me but she doesn't go to my school and stuff. So we don't see each other a lot.

Anyway.

Anne still uses she/ her pronouns for me. I've been friends with her since I was 8. I've been out to her since 13. I'm 14 now.

But

Anne has learning disabilities and minor memory problems. So asking her to call me by he/ him is a stretch.

Our other friend is trans and Anne still uses she/ her pronouns for him even though he has asked her to use his proper pronouns.

She constantly outs me and him and its really annoying. But when she outs us, she doesn't say that we are trans. She says that we are trying to be guys.

Being called by she/ her is giving me major dysphoria. But I also put up with it for my family. So...

Even if Anne would start using my proper pronouns she would forget that she can't use them in front of my dad.

My point is that I have gotten to the point where I don't want to be around her as much. She is really anoying and does what she wants even if you ask her not to.

I haven't seen her in months and I should miss her but I don't. Soon after I got to her house yesterday (December 30) she was on music.ly. then she started videoing me and I asked her to stop. She didn't. Then I asked her not to post what she recorded. She posted it. I have so many more annoying Anne stories.

I used to like Anne in a girlfriend kind of way. But I never asked her out because she wanted more then a romantic relationship. I didn't so I told her that I only liked her as a friend. It made things easier that way.

What do I do?

Before you answer That...

It's not only learning disabilities. She also has major depression and is suicidal as all hell. I help keep her mentally stable.

I have a breaking point but it's hard to find. But I think she almost found it.

Anyone know what to do?

Update from literally 5 minutes later.

She just showed me a video of her music.ly with a comment on it. It said, "he kinda cute."

Anne felt the need to show me and say that the person who commented, "thought I am a boy" and then she started giggling like it was funny or something.

I'm out to Anne.