Afraid To Fall In Love

Unintended Promises

We prayed subhi together as a family and Nasreen and Amani kept muttering their apologies after the prayer. We sat down together for a bit revising a few chapters of the Qur'an as ya Mahmud corrected our mispronunciations.

He kept his eyes on me and for the first time I noticed how beautiful his eyes were, the seductive wheels of darkness and forbidden desire sending chills down my spine,

"Pervert!" I whispered through my teeth, grabbed my belongings and went back to the room.

I laid in bed having all sorts of thoughts as slowly I fell into deep slumber only to make up to the call for prayer, i kept rubbing my sleepy eyes with the back of my palm. There was a man seated in the chair opposite my bed staring, but I couldn't figure out if I was still asleep or wide awake,

"Ohh My God!" I shout recognizing who it was,
"Wallahi if you don't stop coming to this room I will tell Mamie" I hissed walking passed him to the bathroom to brush my teeth and perform ablution and when I came out he was gone. I let out a sigh of relief thinking that my little threat had worked but my joy was Short lived when I heard a masculine voice,

"Salamu alaiki ya Habibty" he shut the door close using his right leg as he carried a covered tray in his hands.

"What to you want?" I shout at him raising to my feet as he was getting on my last nerve.

"I want you" he replied giving me a cheeky grin.

" can you please get out of this room before I kill you with my bare hands" I said, clutching my hands trying to calm myself down.

"I am going nowhere until you taste this food" he brought the tray closer and lifted the cover to reveal what was in the bowl.

"Are you trying to poison me?" I asked scrutinizing him from head to toe.

"Fine!.. I will taste it first" he picked up the spoon and took a mouth full of the substance in the bowl, as soon as he did the expression on his face changed, he looked sick so he used  his palm to cover his mouth and ran towards the bathroom, it was a funny sight I tell you.

As soon as he came out of the bathroom he covered the disaster he prepared and turned to leave muttering " I will cook something else, this one is not edible "

I laughed until my stomach was starting to hurt, Mahmud has never boiled a pot of hot water in his life so what makes him think he could just wake up one day and cook, we are lucky he didn't end up setting the house on fire.

I took my birth and got dressed in an olive green Abaya and used a black scarf to tie my hair then sprayed my favorite signature Cologne. I had no time for makeup as I was very hungry.

I hurried to the kitchen to get the left over muffins Nasreen made yesterday but there was non left so I began preparing tuna sandwiches while I danced to the beats on my playlist.

"I didn't know you could dance" I heard his irritating voice from behind me as I was startled,

Oh Allah this has turned into some crazy obsession, now he's going to murder me next,

"Please leave me alone, don't you have work to do, please let me be, you have no idea how irritated I am right now..... Stalker!" I Yelled.

" keep it down beautiful, I just want what you're making..... It smells nice" he muttered calmly playing with his fingers as if he didn't notice how angry I was.

I stormed out of the kitchen straight to Mamie's room, it took a while for her to calm me down before ordering the help to bring in my food to her room.

"Eat your food my dear and leave this Naughty boy to me" Mamie said stroking my hair. "I'm glad he's becoming lively though.....he is happy and cheerful after all this while..... It warms my heart" she smiled as she turned towards her closest.

"He used to be a lot naughtier before he got his heart torn apart, he is a good man, but I am scared..... So scared that I cannot sleep properly at night" she continued with sadness evident in her eyes as her voice turned cold.

"About what?" I asked feeling pity for my dear aunt.

" I don't want him to ever go though that again, no mother would want her son to experience that. I thought I lost my son, he became cold and unfriendly, it would break my heart each time I see him seating alone in the dark absent from the present world" she bit her upper lip trying send her tears away but failed miserably.

"He will be okay" I said trying to calm her down as I held her hands in mine.

"When he loves, its with every bit of him, I don't want him to lose that for the second time.... He rejected every girl because he was afraid to fall in love again, and for the first time in years he has found someone.. He has found you! But your heart belongs to another, that's why I am so scared I will lose my child again" she held my hands tighter as more tears came running down her cheeks.

I have never felt more sorry for any of them" please don't cry any further " I used my fingers to wipe away her tears as I hugged her warmly.

"I will never hurt him, never! I promise you, I will bring back his happiness, I will take away his sorrow.. I promise you" as soon as I said that she scooped my face with her hands looked at me and hugged me even tighter.

"I knew you wouldn't let me down, I am so sorry for asking so much of you, I will forever be grateful to you" she said before more tears could keep her from speaking.

"Haba Mamie, don't say that! You are my mother and I wouldn't want anything that would hurt you as long as I have the means to stop it from doing so" I said trying to cheer her up.

"Allah ya miki Albarka!" She kept singing my praise until we were both calm and smiling again.

I made sure all her worries were wiped away before I went back to my room and sat there quietly in front of the mirror thinking about the promise I just made to Mamie, "will I be able to keep the promise?" I kept muttering to myself asking so many questions I had no answer to.

"Salamu alaikum" a tiny voice came through.

"Ahhh! Just the person I was going to look for" I sat on the edge of the edge giving her a spot to sit down. She walked in cheerfully giving me a hug before she sat down next to me.

"Okaaay! What's it this time?" I asked seeing how overjoyed Amani was today.

"Nothing special.." She said looking away,

"Come on, spill it" I insisted.

"Yaya Fuad is coming to visit us tomorrow" she squealed

"Yeah I know, he called me earlier" I replied nonchalantly. She has had a huge crush on ya Fu'ad for as long as I could remember.

"You are such a buzz kill" she said rolling her eyes.

"Lol! He is my brother what do you expect?. I rolled my eyes too

" you can at least tell me his favourite things" she said looking very cunning.

" fine I will tell you but I also need something in return" I requested

"When did you become like Na'eem?" She teased reminding me of my brother's mischief.

"Okay fine anything" she replied desperately

"Okayyy.... He likes spaghetti and a lot of sugary stuff" I answered going through my timeline

"What do you want now?" She asked

"Tell me what exactly happened to Mahmud after Salma left" I asked,

"It was terrible.... Yaya was diagnosed with depression and had yo go through series of therapy. It wasn't easy for any of us" she left the room as soon as she ended her statement.

Oh Allah what have I gotten myself into?. How can I fulfill the promise without betraying my love for Nazeer.... I have tried, God knows I have tried. Its been a year now and there is nothing from him,

Ya Allah put me through, tight now I have no idea as to why my heart is filled with pity towards him.