Afraid To Fall In Love

Baby Steps.

I thought I had a really nice scent after all the perfumed bath Mamie put me through but after getting in the same car with Mahmud I couldn't pick up my own scent. He was all over the place, it was intoxicating but I had other things to worry about than a very nice perfume.

I knew where he was taking me to I had been there a couple of times but it felt really strange, I was too anxious to pay attention to anything I couldn't believe I was going to my own home, where I had to be in charge of every single thing, its not going to be easy but I will try.

I kept giving myself some useful advice until we reached the gates of the house, it was drawn open by two guards in their green and black uniforms, All cars drove in and the gates were closed.

The food and a few of my belongings were brought into the house by Rukayyah and Maryam the house helps, it made me feel a bit comfortable seeing them around.

The house was way better than I had imagined all thanks to Mamie, even I couldn't pull off something like that,

"Masha Allah" was all I could mutter under my breath. It was perfect I couldn't ask for more, it reminded me of a lot of places, it had most of the things I picked out in Milan and a lot of other things I had no idea where they came from. Some rooms made me feel like I was in the UAE others felt like some mordern English apartment and the rest was completely Milan ,just when I thought I couldn't be more speechless Maryam showed me to my room. "My God" I had to find a place to sit, closed my eyes a few times just to make sure I wasn't having a really nice dream.

There were 24 boxes in the room which were supposed to be some sort of lefe, no wonder they stopped me from packing a lot of things although the walk in closet felt like I could put all the clothes in the world, this surprise was really big for me. The house would take a little time to get used to.

I called Maryam to help me get out of my dramatic uncomfortable attire but there was no answer I called again and again until I gave up and went outside to look for her myself.

The food was carefully placed in the dinning area where I thought at least one of them would be but nobody was there I kept looking until I was in the big living room that was decorated in gold and cream, I got carried away until I heard a masculine voice from behind me,

"You look so beautiful and quite different too" he said adjusting his sitting position,

"And very uncomfortable if I might add" I groaned, "have you seen anyone around?" I asked heading for the guest room,

"Ohh don't bother I sent them back home" he stated chatting away on his phone,

"What do you mean you sent them back, they are our house helps!...who do you think is going to take care of this house...I can't, at least not alone" I rumbled,

"I am right here if you need help...I have some cleaning skills I just haven't practiced them yet" he said grinning from ear to ear.

"Oh great!" I whispered, and turned back to my room,

"Aren't you hungry after all the drama" he asked chuckling at how uncomfortable I am trying to move around,

"Oh yeah, I just need to get rid of this laffaya, I feel suffocated!" I whined "I'll be there shortly but you can start if you are so hungry" I shout before heading to my room,

I managed on my own to get out of my clothes and changed into a very simple Til long sleeved dress and tied my hair with the closest black scarf I could find.

I was indeed hungry but it felt so uncomfortable so I thought of eating back here in the room. This is the first time I'm in this room but it sure felt like a safe Haven. After summoning a great deal of courage I walked out of the room to the dinning area and there was nobody there so I hurriedly grabbed a plate and began to open the warmers but trust Mamie I couldn't even decided on what to eat, it was like a buffet.

I poured myself some sinasir and pepper soup and another plate for some samosa, spring rolls and chicken nuggets, I turned to sneak back to my room before anyone sees me or the amount of food on both plates... But luck wasn't on my side I was almost half way back when I heard his voice,

"Going somewhere are we?" He asked trying not to laugh out loud, "are you going to finish that" his curiosity just wouldn't let him be,

"Ohh..n...noo! I'm just taking it just in case I get hungry later on" I explained,

He collected one plate and grabbed my wrist with the other hand dragging me back to the dinning area. He wasn't wearing his white kaftan anymore not that I care about what he wears, I just couldn't help but notice this guys love for grey....quite alarming.

Anyway he was charming enough to pull a chair out for me and I sat down without arguing, it was as if the cat got my tongue.

"You know our first date wasn't exactly the best date ever, and after that I was meaning to ask you out but I just didn't get the chance considering what has been going on" he rumbled sounding very nervous,

"My Hayati, would you have dinner with me right here and now?" He asked staring deep into my eyes as he placed his hand on mine,

Seriously! Hayati? When did that one start...is this guy asking me to date him or what. Oh Allah my brain feels overworked I really never knew he was this cheesy I hope it doesn't end up giving me a heart attack but I have to admit...I love cheesy.

"So? What do you say" his voice echoed in my ear indicating how much I have been thinking,

"It wouldn't be a bad idea but don't expect so much just yet" I answered worried that my food is going cold.

"I will wait for you my Hayatii" he muttered before leaning back,

We ate as much as we could and all this while nothing was said except for the stolen glances and the flutter in my belly when ever our eyes met. He helped in clearing the table and putting the left over in the fridge...I really didn't do much I kept staring at him while he did most of the work.

He took two bottles of orange juice and grabbed my wrist once again "where are you taking me" I asked worriedly,

"Relax! I just want to show you something" he explained,

It was really dark in the room and I could feel my heart dancing in my throat, I stood still in the middle of the room as I felt his hand let go of mine,

The sound system was turned on and then I noticed a huge screen as the light from it illuminated the room. He dragged me carefully to the side right when I noticed that it was a sort of cinema,

"Amazing" I blurted swallowing the lump that had gathered in my throat,

He sat next to me as "The Notebook" played on the huge screen, I had no idea how he found out what my favourite movie was, Maybe because I have watched the movie a hundred times my inner voice answered.

I couldn't help but smile, I have no idea what he is up to but i think its  working, I thought just before He leaned in with a smile plastered on his face "you see why the room had to be dark?" He chuckled a bit "what did your little head cook up this time" he asked giving me an uncomfortable look, more like preying.

"No..n.." I tried to answer before he shushed me "be quite its my first time watching this movie" he smiled.

We watched my favorite movie together and he didn't complain about it, not even once and it really wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be.

The movie ended quite late, as much as I wanted to stay together I was feeling quite sleepy today, probably because I couldn't get any the previous night not to mention the stress Mamie put me through,

He walked me to my door and just before we said our good nights he leaned in really close, I clutched my hands and closed my eyes waiting for what ever was about to happen,

He scooped my face and kissed me on the forehead "baby steps" he whispered before letting go, I stood there for about five minutes before going into my room as he went into his.

"Baby steps" I muttered over and over again as I drifted away into deep slumber.