Long Lost (an All Time Low/Jalex fanfic)

Chapter 33: The Darkness

Chapter 33

*Emma's POV*

I always wondered about what it would be like to die. Considering I had most of my life wishing I was dead, being so close to death was interesting. When I ran from my childhood home after the confrontation with my mom, I didn't know where I was going. I let my feet take me where they wanted. I wasn't surprised when I ended up in the foresty park that Alex and I loved as children.

I scurried up a tree that Alex and I climbed as kids and huddled against the trunk of the tree. I balled my fists to try and stop the shaking, to try to calm down. I suddenly became aware of the pocket knife that I had slid into my shoe earlier. By then, I was functioning on autopilot. I didn't let myself think about it. I just flipped up the blade and pressed it against my skin.

My memory started to blank right about there. I remembered bits and pieces, but a lot is missing. I remembered my name being called, the blood oozing from the cuts, being pulled from the tree, falling into Zack's arms, the kissing and then, nothing. From there, everything was blank.

'I must be dead,' I though grimly to myself.

The thing about dying, is you don't know what comes next. No one knows what happens after you die. For me, all I saw was darkness. I didn't see or feel anything for the first little while. It was peaceful, but scary. I had never been fond of the dark.

Then, slowly, pictures began to form. I began to relive my life, but only the parts I wanted to remember. It started early, when i was maybe a year old. I saw images of Alex and I as babies, identical except for the eyes. I saw video sequences of all the best times Alex and I had as children. Playing in the park, playing games, being in school, and just being together, as brother and sister. As twins. As friends.

Then, my memory skips 20 or so odd years. Images and video sequences of the past few months race through my mind. I mentally smile at all the happy memories and at all the friends I had made.

It was then that everything changed. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and started realizing that I was worth something. I had people that loved me and cared about me. I had my brother, who would always be there for me, no matter how much I messed up. I had Zack, my amazing boyfriend, that I loved more than I thought I could ever love a person. I had Patrick and Pete, Rian and Jack, all of whom were my friends that cared about me.

I let go of all the horrors of my past. I stopped letting them all control me. I wasn't going to let my mom or my dad ruin the rest of my life. I couldn't hold myself back just because of them. That's what they wanted and I would never let them win.

An invisible weight was suddenly lifted. I no longer felt the aching depression that burned inside me. Instead I felt free. Everything went black once more. My heart felt like it was beating a million times faster than it should. I started to fear what was coming. Was this the end for me? Was I finally being taken away?

I white light appeared in the distance, glowing brighter and brighter by the second. I struggled against it, not wanting to surrender. There was so much I wanted to do, so much I wanted to be. I wasn't dying yet. I pushed the light away. I searched in my brain for a way to wake myself up, to pull myself from the darkness and away from the light.

The light faded, bringing darkness upon me once more. But, instead of the nothingness I had felt before, a new feeling emerged. Pain. More pain than I had ever been in.

I screamed.

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Hey guys! I'm back!!!!

So... I have officially finished writing this story, so today will be it's final day! After this chapter, there will be 2 more, and then a short chapter that isnt a chapter just saying thank you and stuff from me and letting you guys know what's next.

The next couple are also kinda short, like this one, I think. I can never tell the length of my chapters, but they seem short.

Hope you like this chapter! I love you all and thank you so much for sticking around.

Love you always xoxo

Haley

P.S. Question of the day: How was your weekend?