Until You | Kim Seokjin ✔️

Chapter 30

Jin's POV

I stood at the table in the kitchen, filling up a glass of water thinking about all that Yoona had just said. To say that I felt guilty would be an understatement. I don't think I have ever thought lower about myself.

Watching her cry made it feel like someone had punched me in the gut. Knowing that I was the reason she was this hurt made me hate myself.

I wondered how things could go so bad in just a couple of hours. After the shoot was done for the day, I had gone looking for Yoona. Taehyung said that she had left a couple of hours ago and looked like she was upset about something.

As soon as Taehyung said that, I had a feeling that she had heard my conversation with Jungkook. I begged Yoongi to come with me because I knew that Yoona wouldn't listen to me and Yoongi could probably convince her as they seemed to get along earlier.

Surprisingly, he agreed to it without protesting. He even drive us here because I was too jittery to drive.

Once we reached Yoona's place, we met the obstacle I hadn't even considered.

Jihee.

I don't think I have ever felt this intimidated by someone who barely reached my shoulders.

She obviously knew what had happened because she looked like she wanted to punch me in the face. As glad as I was that Yoona had someone like Jihee looking out for her, I wasn't too happy to be the one facing her.

I tried to talk to Jihee but she refused to even listen to me. Finally, Yoongi convinced her to let him go talk to Yoona while I stayed outside.

Seeing Yoona walk out of her room with her hair messed up, eyes red and puffy made me want to hold her in my arms but I knew I couldn't because I was the reason she had been crying.

Right now, I dreaded going back in the room knowing that she probably hated my guts and there wasn't anything I could say that would change that.

I sent Yoongi home, not wanting him to wait anymore. I found him dozed off on the couch, with a blanket covering him. He must have been really tired. Jihee wasn't there in the living room and I was relieved.

I gently knocked on the open door, letting her know I was there. She quickly wiped her tears and looked away from me. 

I held the glass of water in front of her and she reluctantly took it from me. I waited for her to take a couple of sips before I took the glass and placed it on her nightstand.

"I thought you left.." She murmured still not looking at me.

"No.." I didn't realize how close I had sat down next to her until I saw her flinch a little, trying to distance herself from me.

Before she could move further away, I took her hand stopping her. She took her hand back but at least she didn't move away any further.

"Yoona, I am not going to deny saying anything that you heard but I also think that you didn't hear the entire conversation."

"Right. Did you want me to stay longer and hear about how much you tried to get away from me?" She scoffed.

"Just hear me out. If after I am done, you decide that you don't want to talk to me, I will walk away." 

She just sighed in response.

"What I did was wrong and I am so sorry. You probably won't believe it when I say that behind all the mess I created, protecting you was a major part." 

"Protecting me? But I thought I wasn't 'worth the trouble', so why would you even be bothered about me?" Yoona countered. 

"I never said you weren't worth the trouble. If anything, I believed that I wasn't worth the trouble. Dragging you along while I wasn't sure of where things were heading in my life, was something I chose not to do." 

"It wasn't your choice to make! You don't get to decide about my life and my feelings!"

Her eyes were shining with unshed tears and her mouth quivering with anger. I held her hand with both my hands, afraid that she would start crying again. I don't think I could see her cry anymore, not over things I had done so thoughtlessly. I wanted to comfort her but I also knew that I was the last person she would want any comfort from.

"I realized that I was wrong but it was too late by then. It might not seem like it but I really liked you. I really did. My actions may have convinced you otherwise, but I did. I lost my phone and your number along with it. I was going to contact you once I got a new phone but by then I heard enough stories that I couldn't see a future where you wouldn't end up hurt because of me."

"So let's assume that you actually liked me and you knew that I liked you too, so your response to the situation was to never talk to me again in order to protect me. Do you need me to point out how that makes no sense at all??" 

"At the time I thought that I was making the right decision. After a couple of months, I realized how stupid I had been. I searched for your SNS profiles, but I couldn't find any of them. I tried calling on your number, but it was deactivated. I didn't know that you weren't in Korea anymore." 

"Jihee made me deactivate my SNS for a while. But that's not important. All of this could have been avoided if you had just spoken to me. Didn't it ever cross your mind that I would have understood if you had just tried to talk to me? For you, it was an easy decision to pretend that I didn't exist, but it wasn't for me! To think that I had almost  shifted to Seoul to be close to you, while you were making sure to never see me again!" 

What..? 

"You were going to shift to Seoul? Why didn't you tell me?" 

"I was going to tell you when we met. I wonder why that didn't happen?" she bit out sarcastically. 

"There isn't much that I can say other than the fact that I am truly very sorry. I wish I could take it all back but I can't and that will be the biggest regret of my life. I don't expect you to accept my apology. I didn't come here with the intention of making you forgive me. I just wanted you to know that it was never my intention to hurt you. My apology might seem hollow to you but there isn't anything else I can say. I was a jerk and I am sorry." 

"If you decide that today is the last time we see each other, I will respect it. Just know that I am so happy that I got the chance of meeting you again. I wish it was under different circumstances but it is what it is. Um.. well that's it I guess. I'll see myself out." 

I walked out of her room, closing the door behind me. I leaned my head back against the door. I really didn't want to leave but I knew that staying wouldn't help either of us. She was angry with me and she had every right to be. She needed space and I had to respect that. 

I just hope that this doesn't take her so far away from me that I couldn't find my way back to her. 

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