Catching Phoenix: Renegades MC Story

46

The lab was quiet other than the sound of Harley humming some annoying tune that was slowly driving me up the wall. At first it didn't bother me, but after the last hour I was beginning to become postal.

Fuck I missed her and her annoying habits.

"Going crazy yet?"

Looking up I glared are her before looking back at my computer screen. Stupid bitch knew how to push my buttons. Maybe if I stabbed her she would stop.

"Don't make me kill you, because I will and no one will find the body."

"Promises, promises." She taunted back.

She continued to hum as our focus returned to what we were working on and this time I had the teeny urge to hum along with her. Not that I did (because I never hummed).

It was times like these that I was ecstatic to have my friend home, but it was like I was waiting, even months later since her arrival, for her to disappear again. And that would kill me. She was my best friend, hell my only family. Sure we had the most fucked up relationship in the history of best friends, but at the end of the day I trusted no body more than her...well Mac was a close second...a very close second.

"So where is your hunkalicious?" She asked like she could tell my thoughts drifted to him.

"It seems like you two have been attached at the hip for the last few weeks. I am surprised your body is not going into shock not being near him."

"Shut up you are just jealous." I shot back.

"Your right I am." She said seriously.

"Oh Harley..." I whispered quietly.

"Don't, please don't." She said interrupting me. "Not from you too. I couldn't handle the pity coming from you. I am fine and getting over it. Day by day. So stop worrying about me. Now how are things going with you two?"

I didn't push because she was right. She didn't need my pity, just my support. And she had that is spades.

"Great. Fantastic even. Perfect if that is even possible." I begrudgingly admitted.

"OH-kay, why do you sound like the world is coming to an end?"

"Because it scares the shit out of me, like twelve times a day...and Mac...well he is a master at this relationship stuff and that scares me too. To look at the man you would never know he had his shit together but he does."

"Oh-kay, again not seeing a problem."

"Well rationally I know it's not a problem, but we all know I am not always rational. He is patient, which freaks me out...kind and gentle when I need him to be, which freaks me out even more...and he gets me to talk, like about myself, and I don't even realize I am doing it. We lay in bed and talk for hours...me talking and he just lays there listening...and might I add THIS FREAKS ME OUT!"

As Harley laughs out loud, I drop my head into my hands and growl in frustration. My friend sucks sometimes. Here I am having what was equivalent to an emotional breakdown and my friend just sits there and laughs. Okay so she wasn't sitting anymore, more like bending over, clutching her stomach...but she was still not helping.

"You suck." I mumbled into my hands.

"Oh suck it up buttercup. That man is the best thing that has ever happened to you and if you would just relax, you might actually enjoy what you are building with him instead of freaking out at every little thing. I know you – stop doubting what you have with him and trust that it is real. Talk to him until you are blue in the face, god knows you need someone other than me to listen to you. And it has been good for you. Hell I am not the only one who has noticed."

"Noticed what?"

"That you have changed these last few weeks. You are less on edge and even if I dare say it...softer around the edges."

Standing up quickly, my stool tipping over and banging against the floor, I stared at her...and for the first time I was a loss for words.

"Oh Nix, chill the fuck out. That was a compliment you dipshit. Fuck you are the most hard-headed, stubborn woman I have ever met. And coming from me that is really saying something. You can be a soldier and a woman at the same time. You don't need to be one or the other – fuck embrace both sides and let him be the man who brings out the inner woman in you – the one who decorates her bedroom in purple and her kitchen in yellow. The world is not black and white Nix, and I have no idea why the fuck you think you are!"

Shifting, I relaxed my body as I leaned against the counter, her words had merit and I could tell that I was changing. I guess that was what had me freaking out so much. With Mac I could let my guard down and not have to worry about always being...well the mercenary that I was trained to be.

"I don't know why I can't figure this shit out...I feel so...lost sometimes. And Mac...shit he is so sure about us."

"Then lean on him and hold the fuck on while you get your head straight. Shit it took me eighteen months to get my crap figured out...and I lost the man I loved in the process...please Nix don't make my same mistakes. If he freaks you out just focus on how it makes you feel instead of the why. Mac will get you where you need to be. He is good for you babe, and it is okay that you are changing...change is good. Or so my therapist told me repeatedly."

Walking forward I tugged her to my body and held on. I know my friend's pain ran deeper than she let on to but I continued to let her be and hoped that one day she would be in a place where she can find her happy-place again.

"He loves you don't lose that." She whispered in my hair.

We stood in silence as I thought on how my dark and scarred world was...and now it was full of color. Color that began to brighten the closer Mac and I got, the more I let him in. There were still times of darkness but that didn't seem to faze him one bit...he took me as I came.

"Shit I am an idiot."

"Well you will get no argument from me – but please enlighten me." Harley pulled back but didn't let go.

"He loves me for me...scars and all. They don't gross him out."

"Are we talking the ones on your skin or inside?" She quietly asked.

Dumbfounded, I continued to stare at her like she just told me pigs could fly.

Well fuck.

Both.

"Christ Nix – you really do suck at this relationship stuff. And you are lucky you found a man that doesn't. Hang the fuck on Nix and don't let him go...no matter what. Hell at the rate he is going we may even see you in a dress."

Laughing, Harley darted around me and escaped out the door screaming, "...with ruffles and bows." As the door slammed shut.

I hated that bitch sometimes.

And as I contemplated revenge, I didn't it with a small smile on my lips.