Catching Phoenix: Renegades MC Story

49

Taking a deep breath I clicked on my name.

A password bar popped up with the cursor blinking back at me awaiting my next move.

Well shit. 

Not sure what I was expecting since Agent T did say I they couldn't get into it.  

Now how the hell do I pull a password out of thin air?   Especially since I don't know who sent the drive in the first place.   Where does one begin?

Well apparently Hacker knew the answer as he immediately pulled out the chair and began hitting keys.  Still in shock I didn't even have the ability to question him.   Hell I was totally unware of anyone around me, other than Mac who was at my back, his hands resting on my shoulders.  I couldn't even tell you when he arrived or who else was even in the room.

"Nix honey...are you okay?" Harley quietly asked as she sat in the chair next to me.   Not taking my eyes off the box I nodded.   Her hand pulled the box to her and hesitated as she looked inside.  I watched as she removed first one album and then the next, setting them on the desk in front of me.   Not moving I watched as she tentatively opened the cover.  

"Oh honey..." she whispered.  

The hands on my shoulders tightened as my body began to tremble.   I wasn't prepared for this...I wasn't prepared to have the reminder of my once happy past (now tarnished and damaged) to be staring me right back in the face.   But I quietly watched as Harley flipped to the next page and then the next...not saying anything but just looking at a life that seems so far gone that it was in another lifetime ago.   And in theory I guess it was.

I knew what she saw...that first picture.  I could close my eyes now and see it in detail.   It was me and Ian stand in the center, him in his dress whites and me in a simple white dress that Tracy talked me into wearing.   Dawson was to my right and his wife was to Ian's left.   Their children next to them.  All of us smiling at the camera, laughter filling our faces...frozen in time of a day of perfect happiness.  It was a family photo...my family.   Or so I thought.

That innocent, trusting girl that graced each page of those albums no longer existed in so many different ways.   The next few years from that day taught her to always be on guard and to keep watch, protecting this country at all costs.   But when do those costs outweigh the price?   A question I have still not discovered the answer for.   And unfortunately now I had so many more questions that I knew would never be answered.  

As Harley finished one book she moved on to the next.  Only the sound of Hacker clicking away on the keyboard and the crinkling of the pages turning could be heard.   Every now and then I would hear someone shift their body but other than that no one made a sound.

"Those are my wedding photos...I carried them with me everywhere...after that day I never asked what happened to them, figured they were disposed of along with all my other stuff.   I was considered dead and what did a dead person need with belongings.   Until now I never thought about them."

Well that was a lie.   I did think of them...often.   I always wondered what they did with my stuff, there wasn't much but it was still mine and held meaning to me.

"I wonder where they have been all these years."

I was speaking to no one in general, just thoughts really passing through my brain.   No one responded either, I guess not knowing what to say.  

Mac's thumbs were softly rubbing my neck, on either side of my spine, up and down, up and down.   For a few moments I concentrated only on that simple movement.   Letting myself to become lost in his touch, grounding me in a way that I never had before, giving me strength.  

Harley finished the second book and picked it up to put it back in the box.   A piece of paper released from within the pages of the book, floating down to the ground where it landed right next to my boot.  Watching its entire journey I tensed up once again.  

Shit...I forgot about that.

Leaning forward, releasing Mac's calming hold on me, I leaned down to pick up the folder paper.   With shaking hands I brought the paper back up to my lap where I stared at it for a few seconds.   I couldn't believe after all these years it still existed.   But then again whoever took care of my albums did it well.  

Carefully I unfolded the paper until my hand writing stared back at me.   The page only half filled with dates of the major events in my life that were worthy of being jotted down.  And since I didn't keep a diary, this piece of paper served as the abbreviated version of that.   

April 13th – my birthday!!!

October 2nd – Ian's Birthday!!

November 23rd – hotwired Dawson's car – changed my life forever

June 15th – Joined the Army – best branch in the military if you ask me!

June 29th – Arrived a basic training!  Hello Fort Benning

February 19th – completed sniper training!  The Fucking Best!

July 19th – Our First Date – Ian took me to play miniature golf and ice cream

March 21st – Ian Proposes – on the 18th hole of the same miniature golf course!

September 10th – First Deployment – Afghanistan

May 15th – WEDDING DAY!  Yes I Do!

January 5th – Second Deployment – Iran

December 28th – Mary Dawson Died

October 31st – Third Deployment - Iraq

April 2nd – Fourth Deployment - Afghanistan

The list ended there.   That final tour was my last...I was tempted to grab a pen and add the day my fucking husband tried to kill me.   I figured that was journal worthy...but did one put their own murder attempt in their journal?  Were there rules for that sort of thing?  I wasn't sure but it seemed fitting to me.

Closing my eyes, images flashed through my mind like a mini move.   Memories that I have long ago buried along with the dead girl in those photos.  It didn't do me any good to dwell on those memories so I shoved them in the back of my mind and slammed the door shut and threw away the fucking key.   Now that door was sprung open.

Backyard BBQ's with volleyball games at the Dawson residence.  Tracy had a mean spike.

Winning at miniature golf and Ian fake pouting and claiming I cheated.

Running together along the country roads of Southern Georgia together, pushing each other further.

The first time Ian was deployed, I cried on the floor of the shower for an hour.

Dawson pulling me out of the shower and feeding me, then tucking me into bed.

Ian coming back and us renting a hotel room, never leaving the entire weekend.

Ian getting down on one knee...telling me that he loved me more than his next breath and couldn't live without me.   Pulling out the gold band (knowing I didn't like jewelry) and asking me to marry him...right there in front of all the people at Golfland.

Dawson walking me down the aisle and kissing my cheek as he handed me to Ian.

I couldn't stop them if I tried.   Same with the tears that began trailing down my cheeks.   It was like dying all over again.  The pain of losing something that I thought was perfect, was now piercing my heart, causing it to bleed once again.  

Wiping my cheeks, I leaned forward and opened the draw searching for a pen.   Grabbing one and closing the draw I placed the paper on the table.   That perfectly sham of a life deserved a fitting ending.

The list began with my birth it should then end with my death.   Gripping the pen I quickly added the last entry.   Sitting back I left the paper on the desk and continued to stare at it.  Sighing I finally closed my eyes, blocking out the date that had haunted me for years.  

August 12th – the day I died...