May kasama ang bakla na yun na iba at hindi niya yun nagustuhan.Siya dapat ang nandun.That apartment was their property.Sakanya lang yun at kay Rayko.It was like their sacred place.Why would he let someone else take her place.
She can still remember that day,when they graduated college with AB literature degree.Rayko suddenly decided to live alone.He wanted to prove his worth to his parents despite of his gender.Na kaya niyang magisa kahit bakla siya.She couldn't stand the thought that he will live alone.So she insisted on living with him.His parents gladly agreed with it.They are cool with it since they thought two homosexual buddies is isn't a problem and they bought this spacious apartment especially for both of them right away.
They promised to be together for life in that place.Sinumpa pa nga nila na walang ibang pwedeng tumira dun kundi silang dalawa lang.That is why,that place is very special.Hindi siya makapaniwala na nagpatuloy ito ng iba sa lugar nila.
Nakalimutan na ba nito ang pangako nila dahil sa galit nito sakanya?
Pangako.The word suddenly hit her.Nasapo niya ang noo niya.Oo nga pala,siya ang unang bumali sa pangako nilang dalawa.She left him not only once but twice.
Wala rin siyang karapatang magalit.In fact,it was his right.She can only imagine how much rage he must be feeling everyday towards her.
She reached for the sleeping pills on her table at ininom ito.She's beyond exhausted pero alam niyang hindi siya makakatulog.Unti-unti na siyang dinalaw nang antok sa tulong ng gamot.Her thoughts drifted away from her with the drowsy feeling.She hope she can stay like this forever.At peace without any worries.
***
"Oy ikaw.Satin lang na dalawa na pinapatuloy kita sakin" seryoso niyang turan kay Katty habang nagdadrive.Hindi ito sumagot kaya sinulyapan niya ito saglit.Pakalat-kalat ang tingin nito sa loob ng sasakyan.Parang ngayon lang ito nakaranas umupo sa kotse.
"Katty!" bulyaw niya para mawala ito sa sarili niyang mundo.She almost jumped from her sit. "Oh!Bakit tol?"she said startled.He noticed she didn't buckled her seatbelt.What a kid.Ano ba tong kasama niya,kindergarten?
He drove with one hand and reached for her side to buckle her seatbelt. "Are you a kid or something" he muttered.
Binalik niya ulit ang tingin sa daan pakaseatbelt niya dito.He's always careful and wary in driving since he have experienced a traumatic accident in the past.
"P-pasensya ka na tol.First time ko kasing sumakay ng kotse- hindi ko alam" He forgot.She did say she was from a province.
"Ayos lang-" he said trying not to hurt her feelings." anyway sabi ko kanina.Wala dapat makakaalam na sakin ka tumutuloy"
"Ah yun lang ba? Walang problema tol!" she smiled reassuringly.Bakit ba ang bilis nitong ngumiti?Despite of the beatings she experienced,she always smiles at him as if nothing was wrong with her life.In someway that made him envious.Compare to her,he's always wearing a scowl on his face,completely agitated of everything that happened.How he wish he can be like Katty.
"Anong iniisip mo?" she asked.She must've noticed his sharp look. "Wala" He answered trying to be composed.Buti nalang din at nanahimik nadin ito.
Nang makarating na sila sa building ng Hope Publishing Inc. Pinark niya ang kotse niya sa pinakalikod ng ibang kotse.
"Ganito ah.Mauuna akong pumasok para walang maghinala" he said explaining his safe tactic.Wala talagang pwedeng makaalam or else everyone might get the wrong idea.He saw her scratched the back of her head looking confused. "Maghinala na ano?"
"Na -alam mo na!" he snarled impatiently.Logets lang eh.
"Ano nga?" kunot noong tanong parin nito.He slapped his forehead frustrated at how naive she was.
"Na girlfriend kita!" There he finally said it.And what happened next,he found her laughing her ass of! "Hahahahaha! Seryoso? Yun talaga pinag-aalala mo?Hahahahaha!Tol!Hindi tayo talo!" sabay punas pa nito ng luha na dulot ng pagtawa niya. She thought that was funny huh? Tiningnan niya ito masama.Natigil naman ito nang makita na hindi na siya natutuwa.
"Sorry" she muttered gazing down with regret.He just roled his eyes.
"Mga 5 minutes pakapasok ko tsaka ka susunod" he commanded.She nodded like a loyal servant.It was adorable.Kung pwede lang sana na si Sayvel nalang ito.Sh*t.He's thinking of her again!He went out of the car despising his thoughts.
***
Sobrang gaan ng ulo niya.Siguro,dahil sa sleeping pills na ininom niya.Pakiramdam niya tuloy bangag siya ngayon.
Binaba niya ang bag niya sa sahig.Kitang-kita niya ang sarili niya sa salamin na nasa harap niya.
Napakalawak ng practice room pero siya lang mag-isa.The room is empty.She don't like it.To be alone.Ayaw niya sa mga tao pero ayaw niya rin na magisa.Sighing,she turned the music on and started dancing.
Nang nasa kalagitnaan na ng kanta,nanghina ang tuhod niya.It didn't take long when she tripped and stumble on the cold floor.She groaned in annoyance.
Kung ganito siya kahina pano niya mahahanap ang magulang niya? With that in mind,she tried to get up with her wobbly knees.
"Concentration" someone said out of nowhere.She turned around and saw Clin leaning on the wall,glaring at her seriously.
"Concentration ang wala sayo" She knows that.He doesn't need to slap it on her.
She ignored him and restarted the music stubbornly.Not wanting to give up despite of her weak body.But then she stumbled once again.
"You can't do this.You're mind is somewhere else" she clenched her fist on the floor.He was so right that she couldn't answer back.Nasabunot niya ang buhok niya sa bigat ng emosyon na dumadaloy sakanya.
"I miss him" those last words came out almost like a whisper.
"Do you want to go back?" biglang tanong nito.Her tears suddenly fell down.God knows how she wants that. "I can't.He already hates me!" she confessed hastily.Pinunas niya nang marahas ang luha niya gamit ang likod ng kanyang kamay,pero ayaw talaga nitong tumigil.
"You need to face him.Hindi mo mahahanap magulang mo kung ganito ka" He stated firmly.Sana ganun lang kadali pero hindi.Sigurado siyang di na siya nito tatanggapin.
"I'll send you off tonight.Get ready" he commanded before turning back.
