Never Find Your Lovin'(A Mindless Love Story)

Chapter 10

Woa. I got to admit, I never thought i would have a chance with Julian. Just by knowing her for a few days, and being only 18... I think i'm in LOVE with her. How you ask? Well obciously I dont know because i was the first one asking you! But, my heart stops, and rises like the sun every morning when my eyes sink into her beautiful ones. I am more myself than ever before when im around her. Depression doesnt steike me as much when i get to see her. But i realized, if i dont get to see her for a long enough period of time, i feel like a lost soul. I manage, in force to push away from her, but i cant. I love to love her....

This week, today being Tuesday, has been rollibg along the SLOWEST its ever been... Its annoying, but its not tough to deal with. Jasper hasnt come to school for three days now, and I havent seen him since the day he walked out on me dramaticaly in the boys locker room. Im getting a little worried. Hes been quiet, and unseen. I think I should check on him today. I HAVE to see him. But im must not tell him about Julian and I. He'll be disapointed..

Later at Jasper's Door, 6:38 pm......

"Knock! Knock! I softly patted the door as usual. Hmm.... No answer. Maybe his mom is at work, though she is isually the one to answer the door, and give me the same ole' phrase with the welcoming smile , "He's in his room." I knocked again, this time a little bit harder on the wood. Hmmm... Thats strange. The door still wasnt answered... Then I backed up from the porch a little. I saw Jaspere's room light on. Ok, someone's in there. I yelled out his name, hoping he would hear me. He did.

Deantre:"JASPERR!!" I howled, cupping my hands to make my voice project."

The window was pulled up slightly, and a black, bushy afro apeared from the bottom pane.

Jasper:"Hey." Jasper loojed down on me, his voice shaking. His shades suprisingly off, and his face pale, lifelessly filled... He looked depressed. I got concerned.

Deantre:"Hey," I smiled at him in confusion. "Whats up? You look so, upset." I saud.

Jasper:"Ok, why dont we just talk about this inside." Jasper said in his perfect english, closing the window softly, and walking away.

Ok. Now I just KNEW something was wrong. He said lets talk about THIS. Acting like we already had had this conversation. He only does this when somethin was around the corner. The door clicked to unlcok, and Jasper waved it open. He looked bumy. He had on a dark forest green wife beater, and some white pajama pants with black polka dots.

Jasper:"Come in. " he pushed him along with the door to the side, slightly rubbung his nose with his pointer finger, sniffling like he had just finished crying.

He sat on his navy blue couch, and turned the living room Tv on. Victorious was on.

Jasper:"Right next to me." He patted to a seat on the couch near him.

I sat down, and looked at him in the eyes worried. He forced a smike on his face just to lighten me up, but I coukd just tell that he was dying inside.

Deantre:"Alright Jay, tell me whats going on. Now." I put my hand on his arm.

He looked at me in terror, and his eyes began to water uo a little.

Jasper:"It was my mother's drugs again." He said in shame, as he glared at the floor."

Oh. I forgot about that. Jasper's mom did cocaine, and marawajna. She always had all kinds of anxiety atacks, and strokes, and was often rushed to the hospital. Jasper was always upset when it happened, but he never looked like this.....

Deantre:"Im really sorry to hear that man." I said, comforting him, and rubbing my hand on his back £When is she coming out?" I looked up at him.

Jasper:"She wont be coming out." Jasper said, his voice beggining to crack.

I was sitting there in the waiting room by myeself, just waiting for the nurses to come and give me the message thats she was ready to come home like always, but instead of the nurses coming out, it was her doctor. He told me that after the stroke, she went into a deep coma, and then ahe slowly passed away..." Tears began striping down his face. "My Mom's gone Dee! She's fucking gone!" Jasper yelled to me wheeping. His head of curls collapsed in his hands, as he began to quiver in terror.

My heart stopped, and I got pale. Gone? Oh not Mrs. Perez. My second mother. That just CANT happen. Cold, salty tears started ro fall down my face, and my eyes watered up like a river. Jasper whepped a waterful, and shoock in pain, and sorrow. Not was I only hurt that My sexond mom was gone, but the fact that,my bestfriends mom died, when he was only 18. And that he had to live with that pain, and hurt inside him, for the rest of his life. Man I felt the worst. My heart dropped to my diaphram, and it sadly didnt want to rise. I didnt blame it.

Deantre:" What?" I said in a crackling whisper.

Jasper:"She's gone man." Jasper mumbked in his hands, tears dripping wet on the floor.

Deantre:"Whens the funeral?" I asked.

He raised his head and looked at me in fear.

Jasper:"It was on Monday. Thtas why I wasnt in school.",he put his head down.

Deantre:"Excuse me?" I looked at him in disbelif. A littke upset he didnt tell me about this. "And when did she pas away?" I looked at him a little anger overcoming my voice.

Jasper:"Last Thursday. Look, I wantrd to tell you man,.... but, it hurt to bad.

I got pissed right away. Why didnt he call me when his mom was in the hospital that night. Why didnt he ket me kboe she passed away? Why didnt he even invite me to the God damn funeral?! Questions of disappontment ran through my mind.

Deantre:"Jasper fucking Perez!" I stood up and yelled at him."Now why in the hell didnt you tell me that your mom fucking died that day! And why couldnt you INVITE ME TO THE DAMN FUNERAL??!!! My face turned red, as my voice grew more bass.

Jasper cried even harder. He plopped to the ground, and once again burried his head in his hands.

Jasper:"IM SORRY!! I WAS SCARED!" He yelled out.

Deantre:"SCARED OF WHAT JASPER, SCARED OF WHAT??!! IM YOUR BEST FRIEND MAN, WERE LIKE BROTHERS, SINCE WE WERE LIL' AND YOU COYLDNT HAVE THE MOTHER FUCKING COURTESY TO TELL ME THAT YOUR MOM WAS GONE??? JAY COME ON.

Jasper cried even harder. He cried so badly, a puddle of tears had already formed beneath him. He scootched across of the wood floor, went to a corner, and balled up against a wall, and let oout a years worth of tears. He lifted up his head, and looked at the floor blanklessly, like he was possesed.

I ran over to him, and held him tight, as he cryed onto my chest, but in a manly way.

Deantre:"Im sorry Jay. Its gonna' be alright. Everythings gonna be fine. Shhh... Shhh..." I tried to comfort him, his cry began to be ssilent, and all i could feel was his tears, and him shivering. "I love you man. Im hear, im,here....

Jasper:"She's gone...."

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