Behind The Hoodie

Chapter 19: The System

My smile drops into a half-hearted smirk. I shrug my shoulders.

"Is it because you know who we are? Or because of your afraid of what we will think if we recognize you?"

I bite my bottom lip.

 Honestly, it's because of what everyone will think. But with me getting closer to them as myself and as Tori, I don't want to lose them. I haven't had a friend since, ever, really. If they find out I am Beth, and I have lied to them this whole time, ditched them to go fight, played their friend as both Tori and Beth...I will lose them. And for all I know, everyone in the school will find out and will try to start stuff, or fear me or I could be taken from my dad. I don't want to start over again. I can't go through that again. If I stopped hanging out with them they will ask why and just figure it out anyway. I don't know how to get out of this.

I look at them. They fold their arms and look at me.

"I have to go," I say turning to run away from this but I quickly stop in my tracks as I feel fingers wrap around my wrist. 

I turn to see Mason looking at me with his hand around my wrist. I quickly pull away from him and race off.

"Tori!"

"Really?"

I race into the dressing room to get away. The girls that were obviously just talking about me, stop. It goes quiet. They all look into their lockers, shunning me. I go to my locker and quickly change, packing up everything inside and shoving it into my bag. I zip it up quickly and slam my locker shut. Why are they taking such an effect on me? I grab my whiteboard off the locker and sling the bag over my shoulder. They are now all watching me. I don't care, shun me all you want, see if I care. As I walk out, I throw my whiteboard into the trash making it fall over as I walk out. Not planning on coming back in here or to street fighting for a day or two. I storm off, obviously upset. 

I don't know why they are affecting me like this! No one has ever been able to do that before. It's scaring me. I...I don't know what to do. I change into a new hoodie as I walk and take deep breaths trying to stop looking like a maniac as I walk.

I soon make it home and see my dads car in the driveway. I am not going to change just because of these guys. Just gonna have to suck it up for awhile. I take a breath and find my old self, bringing her to the surface. Feels like a mask instead of me though. And that worries me. I put on smiling face and walk in.

 My dad is on the couch with Jenny and he has a drink in his hands. I walk past them as Jenny smiles at me and I smile back, taking her by surprise. I fill a cup of water and grab a box of saltine crackers, putting it in my other hand. I walk back over to him and put the crackers next to him and he looks to me. I pull the beer from his hand and put the water in front of him.

"Dad, what would mom think?"

He is taken back by my words.

"She is looking out for you but you are just making that harder for her. She deserves better, for her dad, throw out the beer bottles." I say it quietly and carefully, putting my hand on his.

He looks at me and I watch his eyes become glassy and red. He takes the water and I smile at him, walking off with the bottle and throwing away the nasty smelling liquid. 

"You remind me of her, you know? She was always looking out for me."

 I smile.

"Never let me drink, telling me what to do, bringing up things from the past to make me feel bad and always being so b*&^%$."

My smile drops. I look around. That was the only beer he had and his speech is not slurred. Is he actually drunk or is everything he is saying true?