Behind The Hoodie

Chapter 46: All Again

I quickly run off and away from them. I run till they are out of view and begin to walk. I breathe heavily and tears come down my face no matter what I do. They have been with me through so much this year. They have been there for me. And now I have to protect them. And push them away no matter how much it hurts to do.

The cool air dries my tears on my face and every footstep sounds like a hollow nothing. Like I'm just going through the motions while my mind wonders.

I soon make it home even though the blurry vision. I walk in and go upstairs to my room with no Leo, Asher or Rain there. I walk to my room as tears still come down my face. I open the door and see all the guys including Leo there.

I quickly turn away and close the door, running into the bathroom and locking the door. I push a small side table in front of it and sit against it as well. A knock soon comes.

"Leave me alone!" I scream through the door.

"Beth, come out." A says.

"They are gonna use you guys to get to me, so just stay away."

"Beth-" Trever begins.

"Go away!" I say as my voice breaks and tears come down my face.

"Pushing us away won't do anything," Alan says.

"They can't use you guys to make me suffer if you guys aren't close to me. Please just leave me alone." I say in my teary voice.

I hear them sigh and they lean against the door.

"So what? Why do you care so much it's not like we can't take it." Gray says.

"I care about you guys and if keeping you guys from getting it as bad as I do means pushing you guys away, so be it. Please just leave." I say through my tears.

I hear them moving around outside the door but they don't leave. So I just sit there and quietly cry. I soon end up laying on the ground and it's about seven hours later till my eyes become heavy and I fall asleep.

oOoOo The Next Morning OoOoO

I slowly open my eyes to my blaring alarm. I grip the blanket that lays under me and quickly look around. I'm in my room. They must have come in when I fell asleep. I need them to stay away from me. That is the only way to protect them.

I put on a pair of jeans and converse with a simple black shirt under a black hoodie with '97' written on the back with white. I put my hair all into a baseball cap and grab my bag, heading out in the silent house.

But before I leave I see them. All the guys. Laying on the couch. They spent the night. I grab a sticky note and pen from my bag and quickly write on it. On it says 'sorry' with my signature below and I put it on the coffee table before leaving. I feel awful. 

I begin walking to school and the whole day goes on like the day before except...I have to go out of my way and hide to avoid the guys.  Willow's chemo is affecting her a lot, making her be really sick so she is out for the rest of the week.

Finally last period though. My teachers said that I am doing well enough that they trust for Becky to only be here for the first part of the day so I am on my own right now. I go down the hall after delivering something to the office when I hear it.

"Beth!" I turn and see the guys.

I quickly turn back around and rush to the girl's locker room. I quickly run past the first wall and take a breath as other girls in there do their make up and talk about girl stuff. I go further from the entrance when a hear girls gasp and look over to me. I turn and see the guys walk in.