The Alpha's Rogue Mate (1st bk of Rogue Series) (Completed)

Chapter 40 (Edited)

A/N: I had a kitten at my feet and one at my side. I am happy.

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I walked into the bathroom after I had finished trying to get information from the Shazarak, shaking.

My thoughts were going a mile a minute, and I had no idea how to stop them. I wanted to kill him, but I didn't. I was close to and would have if it wasn't for the man that had followed me.

"Skylar?" Miza asked as I turned on the water and scrubbed my hands. He tried to touch me but stopped when I flinched back.

"Is it true?" I asked, my voice thick with emotion. "Am I like him?" I stared at my reflection in the mirror, wanting to, no needing to find something different about me, something to show me that I had changed into the monster that was underneath my skin.

I had no idea if I had changed from the girl who I thought I was, and that scared me more than anything that I had been through.

"You aren't," Miza said. He stayed silent and studied me through the mirror. He was trying to find something that I was hiding, but I had no idea what he was wanting to see. "He would have killed him."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "I wanted to," I said, turning off the water. I wiped my hands on the towel and sat down on the toilet before my legs gave out. I rested my forearms on my legs and leaned forward, not looking at him. "I really wanted to."

"I know," Miza said. He walked closer and kneeled in front of me. "You are psychotic like him."

I bit back a snort and clasped my hands together. I saw that they were shaking and tried to get them to stop.

"But, you are loyal. That is something that Mahklaha was never able to do. You are a fighter and fight for the weak. You fight to make sure that they survive and do not use them."

I stayed silent and lifted my head to study the old man before me. I had a feeling that he had been stressing about something, and I was curious somewhat as to what he was thinking.

He sighed and moved a hand through his hair. He wanted to say something or ask something about what I had said or done, but he didn't know if I would be pissed at it or not. Debate filled his eyes, causing me to feel impatient with him.

"Just... spit it out," I grunted, leaning back. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath before letting it out, trying to relax my tensed body. I had no idea what he was going to ask, but I had a feeling about it.

Miza sighed and moved a hand through his hair, grimacing. "That spell..." he started to say but stopped.

I sighed and opened my eyes to look at him. I slowly blinked before pulling the book out of my pocket.

Miza watched as the book grew larger, his mouth becoming slightly wider.

"It was like a spell that had been used on me," I said. I flipped to the spell that I had used to let him read it. "It might or might not get him to talk."

"What spell was used on you?" he asked, looking at it. "This one seems harmless."

I closed the book and took a deep breath. When I had seen the spell the first time, I really wanted to try it out. I really wanted to hurt someone the way that I had been hurt.

"You... don't have to show it to me," Miza said, probably catching the conflict in my eyes. "But, I would like it if you talked about what had happened to you."

I licked my lips and cleared my throat. "It... uh... made me forget stuff?" I asked. "Or changed what I knew into something different."

Miza sighed and nodded his head. "It changed how you view or viewed me," he said. Again, he moved a hand through his hair and cleared his throat. "You uh... had met me before you had met Jerecho. I had helped you with your powers before he did." He was bitter, I could tell by the sound of his voice.

"Why didn't you rescue me?" I asked, finally. "Why did you wait until Reeves had gotten me before you did something?" Anger filled my voice as I asked him that.

"Because you told me not to," he replied.

"Bu-"

"You knew that it was a trap," he snapped. He glared at me, the runes on his skin appearing. Anger filled his eyes, and I could tell that I had stepped out of line. He took a deep breath and tried to relax his body, the runes disappearing from view. "You knew that it was a trap," he said, again.

"How?"

Miza shrugged, the runes disappearing as he calmed down. "That was what I had been wanting you to answer," he said, honestly. "How you knew that Mahklaha was using you to get to me." His hands shook, and he looked as if he was getting older before my eyes.

"It pained me," he said, his voice cracking. He cleared his throat and sighed. "To see you crying out in so much pain, begging me to go to you. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. I could barely function normally."

I stayed silent but narrowed my eyes. A huge part of me did not believe him, but a small part did.

It made sense, to be honest. If Mahklaha had gotten us both, then there wouldn't be an Earth to protect. And, there wouldn't be the other realms. There would only be darkness, something that neither of us wanted.

"When you first came into my dream, begging and crying, you somehow projected your actual self into the dream," Miza said, pulling me from my thoughts. He had this dazed look in his eyes as if he was remembering a past that I didn't remember. "You told me what was happening and told me about the spell. You told me that you were caught in the Orthenal, and that there was no way for you to escape or for me to rescue you."

I pursed my lips and narrowed my eyes. I had no idea why Mahklaha would set me in between time, but I knew that I might know it if I remembered everything that had actually happened.

"When you came back from Orthenal, you were completely insane. You had no recollection of me at all, and there was no way to bring you back."

"But, Reeves did," I said, causing him to nod his head. I took a deep breath and nodded my head. "I want to remember everything," I said, causing Miza to look up at me. "I want to know what has been hidden from me."

A speck of fear flickered through his eyes before his gaze hardened. "It'll cause you pain," he said.

I shrugged my shoulder. "I have been in pain before. It won't be any different."

"You could go insane, again."

"I am already insane, Miza," I replied. "I just have better control over it." I leaned back on the toilet and stared at him. "For whatever reason, we need to work together. There has to be trust."

He stayed silent, but a look of hurt flashed through his eyes.

"If... I trusted you in the past, then I need to know why. I need to know why it hurts you so bad when I treat you with disrespect, but you don't kill me or banish me."

Miza frowned and studied me. "You will have to be at the castle chained up."

I shrugged my shoulder. "Won't be the first time nor the last."

"You will have to be away from your mate and pack for a couple of days."

I pursed my lips and narrowed my eyes. "I will need to talk to my mate about it, but I think that he will be ok with it. He'll know if I move or not."

Miza nodded his head, understanding that I had given him a map. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes."