The Original Witch

Chapter 30

Hermione tells me to meet them in a quiet, isolated corner of the library. After potions, I walk to the library by myself and sit down, ten minutes early, waiting for the others to come. I twiddle my thumbs in anticipation, hoping that my words will put them to ease. I want my friends back and not fearful of me. 

Right on the dot of our five o'clock meeting time, they all walk over, Ron included. I still need to talk to him one on one, but I know that he won't until he is sure he can trust me to not kill him. 

Sitting on the edge of the comfy chair, I prepare for the questions they may ask but know that they are worth it.

"So...any questions for me?"

Harry talks first, his confidence seeping through, "How are you...you know...getting what you need if you can't drink from us anymore because of the..."

"Vervain," I finish for him. "Well, I may have stolen blood bags from some hospitals on my way here. And by stolen I mean compelled."

Hermione pipes in, curious about compulsion, "Can you explain that to us? Is it like the imperious curse?"

I think about this for a second. "In a way, yes, but also no. We can tell people to do anything and make them think certain things. So, it can be much darker since we can alter your memories. I could make you forget your family and you would have no idea." Her eyes widen in response at this, "I am also going to answer the question you are all thinking- I did not compel any of you."

Ron of course asks a hard hitting question, "What's the worst thing you have ever compelled someone to do?"

Hermione goes to scold him, but I stop her, "No, it's fine. I said I would answer anything, and I always stay true to my word. You have to understand that who I am now is very different than who I have been in the past."

Ron sits expectantly as I continue since he always wanted to know more about my past, "There was a vampire hunter coming after me and she wouldn't stop. I compelled her young daughter to kill the husband as motivation to stop. When the hunter came home, I made the girl ask her mom if she would stop hunting me. To no surprise she refused, it was her life long mission to find a way to end me, so the child took her own life. I did what I had to do to survive and live without someone threatening to kill me all the time but that little girl was the youngest life I have taken. I am not proud, but I had my emotions turned off."

I look down after my summarized story, finally feeling the guilt from my actions and ashamed that I ever did something this horrendous. 

"Emotions turned off?" This question comes from George, and I realize that our first deep conversation touched on this out of context. 

"Yes. You see, vampires' emotions are heightened, just like everything else, so they can be very controlling. It is like a switch. When we get overwhelmed, or are just pure evil to begin with, we turn off our humanity. We don't feel the bad stuff, like the remorse, or guilt from what we do. It's hard to turn our humanity back on because what follows is an intense flood of emotions."

The trio looks deep in thought, remembering the day I was sitting against the wall after my emotions came back. Hermione tilts her head at this, silently asking if that is what happened and I nod my head. 

Harry asks carefully, knowing that something major had to happen for me to flip mine off, "What made you turn yours off?"

I shift uncomfortably, not used to being exposed like this. "Mine was off for a very long time. Honestly, I probably had my humanity on for a less amount of time than when I was human. I turned my humanity off right after I separated from my family. They took everything from me and supported my evil brother, Niklaus, over me. I no longer believe in family, or love them for that matter."