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Deep breaths, Hanna.
Seeing him in the school halls again, chestnut coloured curls pushed back into a bun, laughing with the soccer guys, leaning against the lockers like they owned the place, made me wonder whether I ever really knew him. It was weird seeing him in such a good mood, it made me wonder whether I had actually witnessed him break down in front of my eyes just two days ago or if it had been nothing but one of his many acts.
His laughter was ringing in my mind, the sound no longer bringing a smile to my lips or making butterflies tingle in my stomach, all it did was fill my mouth with a bitter taste.
It was Friday morning and James was back at school. Yay- fucking-hay. He was dressed in his usual black ripped skinny jeans, a simple white t-shirt and his oversized light blue jeans jacket he often let me wear. Had. He had often let me wear it. I keep forgetting I needed to speak about him in past tense now.
Sammy's grip on my shoulder tightened once she noticed what or rather who I was so intensely staring at, turning me the other way. I noticed that Cat's smile looked a little forced as she tried to distract me from the loud group of boys down the hall.
I smiled at their efforts, they could read me so well, instantly noticing when I tensed up or something in my mood changed. I refused to let that short moment ruin my day and turned my back to James as I let my two best friends walk me to my next class, their happy chatter about the coming weekend and possible plans of going out filling my mind instead. Once we got to our next class Sammy sent us a smile and short wave before walking off, her next class was Chemistry, she wasn't taking Biology in senior year.
But guess who was...
James hadn't walked in yet when I got to my usual seat next to him. I quickly walked past it, sitting down next to Cat in one of the back rows instead. Our teacher was not observant enough to notice that the brunette girl changed seats and no longer sat next to the tall boy with the curly hair and dimpled smile or that she was no longer smiling at him when his gaze shifted her way.
James noticed me sitting with Cat the minute he walked in and sent me, what seemed like, a short look filled with regret and ..hurt? He quickly pulled himself together though and sat down with his friends not looking my way again for the rest of Biology. Burning holes with my eyes through James' back didn't help much with focusing on the class. That, the teacher did notice.
School was stressful enough as it was with exam season edging closer and teachers loading their students up with assignments and papers to write. So when our Biology teacher called my name at the end of the lesson to have a word, I had to keep myself from rolling my eyes in annoyance. Waving a hesitant Cat off to leave without me, I made my way to the front.
