15• match day (part 2)

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I grabbed onto Cat's arm without really realizing how much my chest had tightened

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I grabbed onto Cat's arm without really realizing how much my chest had tightened. She reassuringly squeezed my hand and my eyes hesitantly met hers. I found it a bit ironic how our roles had switched. She was the one calming me now.


We walked inside the restaurant together, hand in hand. A waiter quickly guided us to a separate room in which five tables had been pushed together to form the big one all the players were now sitting at. The room had been decorated with a few banners in the team's colours, the tables sprinkled with soccer themed confetti and the light dimmed to dip the whole scene into a more relaxed, nightly setting. As I took everything in, I had to remind myself to keep breathing.


The fact that the lights were turned down and about half the team was still missing helped me relax a little, even though I knew the tension in my body wouldn't fully fade until I had found him. I allowed my eyes to wander around and dwell on all the people already there. I noticed that there were a handful of girls and maybe an additional two guys among the group of people that I was sure weren't part of the soccer team.


They were probably the players' girlfriends and boyfriends. Great. That made things even more awkward for me.


When we got to our seats, I couldn't help but subtly glance around again for a flash of silver among the shades of brown and black heads of hair that I may had missed earlier. But no. No Taehyung. I was sure I had seen him walk in though, who else would have silver hair? No, he definitely walked in before us. He had to be here, somewhere.


I broke out of my thoughts when Cat started pulling on my arm, mumbling to walk faster. My eyes followed hers and landed, of course, on Jimin who was excitedly waving us over from the opposite side of the room. My step froze, however, at the sight of who was sitting next to him.


Once I noticed James was with Jimin, I quickly pulled Cat back by her arm.


"I'm gonna go use the bathroom real quick, I'll be right back" I mumbled into her ear and she nodded but not without sending me a concerned glance. I could feel James' eyes lingering on me as I turned away.


I knew I could do this. I knew it. But I desperately needed a moment to breathe. I felt like I was wearing a tight corset that was cutting off the air to my lungs. My mind was a mess right now. I had come here to support Cat, watch some soccer and maybe have some food afterwards, not for all this.


All these people that knew me, that I had history with, crammed into one room just couldn't mean anything good. James. All his friends. Jungkook. Hoseok. Taehyung.


Maybe I was able to handle one at a time but certainly not all of them at once.


The one that made me feel the most uncomfortable by his presence was definitely still James. Seeing him with his friends brought back bad memories from parties and nights out of him getting shit-faced and being an absolute dick to me.


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