All It Seems

Part 15: Rock Bottom

New chapter! I'm trying to cut them down a little bit but I think they're just getting longer aha!

"What? How? I-"

"I know, I know," he sighed again and I tried to wrap my brain around what the hell I'd just heard. This was fabulous news, of course, but only if Dan actually did something about it. Oh god, this is a mess and I created it.

"What are you going to do?" I was gaping like a fish, my mouth hung open and my eyes bugged out slightly at the shock of it all. "I must say I wasn't expecting this,"

"And I was? I don't know what to do," he rested his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. I felt almost as helpless as he did.

"Do you want to be with her?" I asked quietly, resting against his arm in a comforting manner and rubbing his shoulder.

"I don't know... I haven't - that is, I didn't think I could... after Liv," his voice broke and I felt so incredibly sorry for him. This was all my fault, I never should've opened my stupid mouth, now I've ruined Lys's secret and caused Dan stress.

"I'm so sorry, Dan," I whispered and continued rubbing circles on his shoulder. "I had no idea,"

He silenced me by shaking his head and taking my hand in his.

"No, it's okay. I just... I don't want that to happen again. I don't think I could live through it a second time,"

I could feel my heart breaking. We'd seen how Liv leaving had hurt him but he never talked about it, whenever we'd asked if he wanted to talk he'd wave us off with a smile and say 'I'll be right'.

"She'd never intentionally hurt you, Dan, you know she wouldn't. She would rather die than hurt you,"

He nodded with a sniff and I had to blink a few times to make sure tears didn't form in my eyes. It hurts to see your best friends in pain and when they're looking for help, even more so when you're the one that caused it.

"I didn't think Liv could either,"

"She loves you, Dan," I whispered for fear that my voice would come out shaky.

In truth, I didn't know if I was almost crying purely because Dan was hurting or because I knew that Isaac probably wouldn't be this upset over me. I leaned back quickly to swipe away a rogue tear that was sliding down my cheek. It singed my skin and I hurried to remove any sign that it was there.

"I know," he replied just as quietly and squeezed my arm that was wrapped around his front.

"What's going on?" Came Isaac's voice in front of us. I flinched slightly and wiped my eyes discretely.

"No, nothing." I pulled back and got up to kiss Isaac on the cheek. He held his hand on my waist tightly - almost too tightly - and I noticed he was watching Dan carefully.

"Growing out the beard?" He asked, nodding towards Dan and Dan chuckled in response, standing and straightening his pants.

"Yeah, thought I'd try something new. Anyway, I'm off. Got work to do," the boys slapped hands with one another and Dan nodded with a slow wink to me and I nodded in return. That nod held so much:

Don't tell anyone, don't tell Lys, we'll figure this out, talk to me soon. That sort of thing.

"What was that about?" Asked Isaac, slight judgement in his voice, taking Dan's spot on the couch beside me where I tucked my legs under and pulled my laptop open.

"Nothing, he was just stressed over an upcoming exam and you know how he is with his anxiety. I read somewhere that giving someone a tight hug when they're anxious can releave the effects of stress, like those weighted blanket things," I ranted until I noticed he'd zoned out and wasn't listening anymore.