All It Seems

Chapter 27: Bad Ass Woman

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My stomach was leaping in my throat like a frog. What had I done?

There certainly was a part of me that missed Isaac; we'd been through so much together and he'd held my hand every step of the way but I couldn't go on letting him treat me the way he does. It was good having someone in the house again and some noise... perhaps it was that.

It was also good to scratch that itch again...

I'm so confused! I don't know what I want nor how to get it and this whole situation is so messed up! I was sick of keeping secrets, I was sick being alone and I was so so sick of being tired.

I couldn't think about it now. I wanted to go have fun, to let loose, to let go and dance and drink and party.

I clambered out of the car and readjusted my heels before climbing up the steps to Alyssa's. When I reached the top I just stood there staring at the door as though I was waiting for her to knock on the door for me.

By a stroke of luck she opened and looked at me with a questioning look on her face.

"What are you doing?" she looked around me as though she were searching for some reason that had me glued to the ground.

"I kissed Isaac," I blurted out and she frowned. "Are you mad at me?" I asked, my eyes welling up with horrible tears.

"Why would I be mad at you, love?" she pulled me in by my hand to hug me and closed the door. "You're lonely, I know you are and sometimes slip ups happen. Listen," she pulled back to look me in the eye, "if you wanna get back together with 'im I will support you and so will Dan,"

As though on cue I saw Dan creep around the corner of the bedroom door like a crook from an old movie. Only crooks in old movies aren't butt naked and watching you like a hawk so they can duck at a moments notice.

"Jesus Christ Dan!" I cried and covered my eyes.

"I'm sorry! I left my pants out here!" he yelled and darted back into the room.

"I'm blind. I can't see! You poked my eyes out!" I screamed and both he and Lys laughed hysterically.

"Come on, let's go have fun."

Dan drove us to the only club in our small town and said he'd be back at about 2:30am to pick us up or when we called. Lys looked fabulous as always in an emerald silk slip dress and black strappy heels and she certainly  made an entrance that earned a few stares from girls and boys alike.

Before I knew it she'd ushered me up to the bar and handed me a shot of what I found to be vodka. We ordered round after round and when I was feeling effectively dizzy I yelled over the top of the music that we should go find a spot on the dance floor. We grabbed a vodka raspberry each to take with us and made our way over.

The music was loud, the room was crowded, the floor so sticky you'd never fall over - whether that be by accident or choice - and the flashing lights sent you into a small maze of blindness then sight.

Who knows how long we'd been dancing but all I knew was that I was having a marvellous time bumping into strangers, laughing with Lys and singing at the top of my lungs with no one actually hearing.

Still, there was a nagging feeling at the back of my mind of what was happening with Isaac. I must've stilled because Alyssa grabbed my shoulders and pulled me towards her.

"What are you thinking about, you look concerned?" She yelled a little too loud in my ear and it made my ear drums ring.

"I'm thinking about how I shouldn't have kissed Isaac!" I yelled back to her and she shook her head as soon as she heard his name.